The Jaffe Briefing - January 13, 2023
STATEWIDE – Should we dare whisper it?… Are we really going to note the latest efforts to abolish the county political line? Well, heck, not us. We’re not that brave. But New Jersey Globe has decided to report the comments of State Sen. Shirley Turner, who wants to end the political line system that ensures the county boss has his/her candidates prominently placed on the ballot, thus ensuring victory each year. There’s also a federal court case about the constitutionality of the party line, which could upset plenty of apple carts. Turner says: “People now are more open to competitiveness in politics, and not just having a party decide who the candidate’s going to be.” No comment from most, if not all, elected officials, who certainly appreciate the status quo. And we have no comment. No comment at all.
NEW BRUNSWICK – So, um, how about Rutgers football? The team welcomed a new offensive coordinator this week, serving as the latest victim assigned to getting the ball near the end zone. And, of course, it was not cheap to woo Kirk Ciarrocca to Rutgers, as he will earn a school-record salary of $4.2 million over three years. NJ.com reports the Scarlet Knights will also have to pay a $275,000 buyout of his contract with the University of Minnesota, a deal that was inked just a month ago. Finding the right coach in the Big 10 is critical. But if the program can’t recruit and pay for the right players who can actually execute an offense, it’s all akin to blowing money into the Raritan. Yeah, we’re still bitter about last season.
ATLANTIC CITY – So, what’s with all the dead whales? That’s been a real head-scratcher for state officials, who are reporting that six whales have washed up on the coastline over the last five weeks. There’s plenty of suspicion that construction of offshore wind turbines are somehow messing with the whales, prompting environmentalists to demand a big federal investigation. The ramifications are huge; a hallmark of the Murphy Administration has been the development of wind energy to stave off climate change and create an industry worth billions of dollars for many years to come. But all agree: “clean energy” can’t be killing the whales, if those turbines end up the culprit.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Adolf Hitler was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize
YOUR WALLET – A big, toothy smile and a lollipop? Well, let’s not go that far, as the IRS is vowing this will be a wonderful tax season for all of us. As the season kicks off on Jan. 23, with IRS agents putting fresh batteries in their calculators and buying a new pair of brown pants, they are announcing that 5,000 new “customer service representatives” have been hired to actually pick up the ringing telephones and even say “Hello?” There is also a reduced backlog of tax returns, following the pandemic, and there will no longer be any stimulus packages, credits and stimulus programs that IRS agents have to figure out, Bloomberg reports. It all promises to be a gloriously-boring tax season, culminating with your annual late-night scramble on April 18.
STATEWIDE – Just as the best Philly cheesesteak is obviously in Camden, the best NYC hotdog is in northern New Jersey. And, no, there is absolutely no bias in our reporting. We’re simply referencing Eater.com, which publishes the list of the 27 best hot dogs around the Big Apple. And the findings? Rutt’s Hut in Passaic, Boulevard Drinks in Jersey City and Hiram’s in Fort Lee all earned high praise as proud NYC institutions that just happen to sit across the Hudson.
IN THE MEDIA
STATEWIDE – In what appears like a huge victory for the printed newspaper (remember those?), New Jersey could be the first state in the union to require that paper coupons have the same value as digital coupons. NJ.com reports that some lawmakers believe companies are discriminating against grandma and her Sunday Star-Ledger by only offering great consumer discounts on smartphones or tablets. That same deal should be in the printed newspaper, right behind the funnies, where Ziggy remains a hoot.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SAULT STE. MARIE, MI – It’s a new year, so let’s get rid of some of those 2022 words that really annoy us. Lake Superior State University is here to help, releasing the “Banished Words List 2023” for words that are misused, overused, useless or just annoying. So, there’s “GOAT,” that has got to go, as everyone and everything is being deemed a GOAT these days. There’s also “irregardless,” “gaslighting,” “inflection point,” “amazing,” “quiet quitting” and “absolutely.” Don’t like this list? Well, “it is what it is.” That’s also on the list.
WASHINGTON – What’s next? Installing pay phones? It seems the U.S. Capitol is still stuck in the 1980s, at least when it comes to its smoking policy. In one of the most beautiful buildings in the nation – the hallmark of our democracy – yet our cigar-chomping congress members think it is the ideal place to light up. The new GOP leadership in the House has no interest in changing the policy, as the guy who runs the rules committee is often found lighting a fat one on the third floor of the Capitol. Bloomberg reports there have been efforts over the past 150 years to get tobacco out of the building, but Congressional leadership has zero interest. This makes the U.S. Capitol a strange outlier, along with those stinky Atlantic City casinos, as the large majority of public buildings and other spaces have been smoke-free for years.
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
It was this week in 1984 that the Apple Macintosh was unveiled as the PC of the future, showing raw computer power with 128 kb of memory, a slot for a floppy disk and a nine-inch, black-and-white screen.
WORD OF THE WEEK
Yurt – [yərt] – noun
Definition: A circular tent of felt or skins on a collapsible framework, used by nomads in Mongolia, Siberia, and Turkey.
Example: Bob clearly spoiled his cat with the new yurt.
WIT OF THE WEEK
“It is prosecutorial misconduct, the weaponization of the Justice System, and an attack by Radical Left Democrats who desperately don't want me to run in 2024.”
-Donald Trump, regarding missing classified documents
BIDEN BLURB
“I was briefed about this discovery and surprised to learn that there were any government records that were taken there to that office. But I don’t know what’s in the documents.”
-Joe Biden, regarding missing classified documents
WEEKEND WEATHER IN A WORD
Snowless
STATEWIDE – Should we dare whisper it?… Are we really going to note the latest efforts to abolish the county political line? Well, heck, not us. We’re not that brave. But New Jersey Globe has decided to report the comments of State Sen. Shirley Turner, who wants to end the political line system that ensures the county boss has his/her candidates prominently placed on the ballot, thus ensuring victory each year. There’s also a federal court case about the constitutionality of the party line, which could upset plenty of apple carts. Turner says: “People now are more open to competitiveness in politics, and not just having a party decide who the candidate’s going to be.” No comment from most, if not all, elected officials, who certainly appreciate the status quo. And we have no comment. No comment at all.
NEW BRUNSWICK – So, um, how about Rutgers football? The team welcomed a new offensive coordinator this week, serving as the latest victim assigned to getting the ball near the end zone. And, of course, it was not cheap to woo Kirk Ciarrocca to Rutgers, as he will earn a school-record salary of $4.2 million over three years. NJ.com reports the Scarlet Knights will also have to pay a $275,000 buyout of his contract with the University of Minnesota, a deal that was inked just a month ago. Finding the right coach in the Big 10 is critical. But if the program can’t recruit and pay for the right players who can actually execute an offense, it’s all akin to blowing money into the Raritan. Yeah, we’re still bitter about last season.
ATLANTIC CITY – So, what’s with all the dead whales? That’s been a real head-scratcher for state officials, who are reporting that six whales have washed up on the coastline over the last five weeks. There’s plenty of suspicion that construction of offshore wind turbines are somehow messing with the whales, prompting environmentalists to demand a big federal investigation. The ramifications are huge; a hallmark of the Murphy Administration has been the development of wind energy to stave off climate change and create an industry worth billions of dollars for many years to come. But all agree: “clean energy” can’t be killing the whales, if those turbines end up the culprit.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Adolf Hitler was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize
YOUR WALLET – A big, toothy smile and a lollipop? Well, let’s not go that far, as the IRS is vowing this will be a wonderful tax season for all of us. As the season kicks off on Jan. 23, with IRS agents putting fresh batteries in their calculators and buying a new pair of brown pants, they are announcing that 5,000 new “customer service representatives” have been hired to actually pick up the ringing telephones and even say “Hello?” There is also a reduced backlog of tax returns, following the pandemic, and there will no longer be any stimulus packages, credits and stimulus programs that IRS agents have to figure out, Bloomberg reports. It all promises to be a gloriously-boring tax season, culminating with your annual late-night scramble on April 18.
STATEWIDE – Just as the best Philly cheesesteak is obviously in Camden, the best NYC hotdog is in northern New Jersey. And, no, there is absolutely no bias in our reporting. We’re simply referencing Eater.com, which publishes the list of the 27 best hot dogs around the Big Apple. And the findings? Rutt’s Hut in Passaic, Boulevard Drinks in Jersey City and Hiram’s in Fort Lee all earned high praise as proud NYC institutions that just happen to sit across the Hudson.
IN THE MEDIA
STATEWIDE – In what appears like a huge victory for the printed newspaper (remember those?), New Jersey could be the first state in the union to require that paper coupons have the same value as digital coupons. NJ.com reports that some lawmakers believe companies are discriminating against grandma and her Sunday Star-Ledger by only offering great consumer discounts on smartphones or tablets. That same deal should be in the printed newspaper, right behind the funnies, where Ziggy remains a hoot.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SAULT STE. MARIE, MI – It’s a new year, so let’s get rid of some of those 2022 words that really annoy us. Lake Superior State University is here to help, releasing the “Banished Words List 2023” for words that are misused, overused, useless or just annoying. So, there’s “GOAT,” that has got to go, as everyone and everything is being deemed a GOAT these days. There’s also “irregardless,” “gaslighting,” “inflection point,” “amazing,” “quiet quitting” and “absolutely.” Don’t like this list? Well, “it is what it is.” That’s also on the list.
WASHINGTON – What’s next? Installing pay phones? It seems the U.S. Capitol is still stuck in the 1980s, at least when it comes to its smoking policy. In one of the most beautiful buildings in the nation – the hallmark of our democracy – yet our cigar-chomping congress members think it is the ideal place to light up. The new GOP leadership in the House has no interest in changing the policy, as the guy who runs the rules committee is often found lighting a fat one on the third floor of the Capitol. Bloomberg reports there have been efforts over the past 150 years to get tobacco out of the building, but Congressional leadership has zero interest. This makes the U.S. Capitol a strange outlier, along with those stinky Atlantic City casinos, as the large majority of public buildings and other spaces have been smoke-free for years.
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
It was this week in 1984 that the Apple Macintosh was unveiled as the PC of the future, showing raw computer power with 128 kb of memory, a slot for a floppy disk and a nine-inch, black-and-white screen.
WORD OF THE WEEK
Yurt – [yərt] – noun
Definition: A circular tent of felt or skins on a collapsible framework, used by nomads in Mongolia, Siberia, and Turkey.
Example: Bob clearly spoiled his cat with the new yurt.
WIT OF THE WEEK
“It is prosecutorial misconduct, the weaponization of the Justice System, and an attack by Radical Left Democrats who desperately don't want me to run in 2024.”
-Donald Trump, regarding missing classified documents
BIDEN BLURB
“I was briefed about this discovery and surprised to learn that there were any government records that were taken there to that office. But I don’t know what’s in the documents.”
-Joe Biden, regarding missing classified documents
WEEKEND WEATHER IN A WORD
Snowless