The Jaffe Briefing - January 20, 2023
STATEWIDE – Anyone who relies on our “Weather in a Word” at the bottom of this newsletter for weather-related precision is quick to note an odd trend: There has been no indication, whatsoever, of snow this winter. Looking ahead to our official, never-questioned 10-day forecast, it looks like this could end up being the least snowy January since the first climatologist stuck his toe outside the log cabin and offered up a projection. Some perspective: Newark has never, ever reported no snow in January. It is also looking to be the first snowless January in Philly. But as die-hard Giants fans, we really don’t care what happens in that (spit here in disgust) hellhole west of glorious Camden.
PAULSBORO – We may not all be financial geniuses. But when a local deli is suddenly worth $100 million, something just doesn’t sit right. CNBC reports that a fugitive was arrested in Thailand for stock manipulation, stemming from this tiny business in South Jersey. The suspect, living in Hong Kong, as well as his father and another man, even caught the attention of The Bangkok Post for this scheme, reporting they have all been arrested for concocting a crazy value for the Hometown Deli. The world eagerly awaits a creative defense in this case, as perhaps this deli investor tries to explain how his wonderful $300,000 pastrami sandwiches are all the rage, prompting the $100 million value of a business whose greatest assets seem to be an outdoor garbage can, two planters and three American flags.
TRENTON – Could the gas stove wars be coming to New Jersey? Republicans are already worried that Gov. Phil Murphy will follow some federal concerns, with a product safety agency decreeing gas stoves as “a hidden hazard.” There’s worry about pollution, but no one in D.C. with any power will dare support such a controversial ban. Still, state senators Steven Oroho and Joe Pennachio are calling for legislation that protects all of our kitchen stoves in New Jersey. NJ.com offers up a great quote from Oroho: “We certainly don’t need Democrats in our kitchens dictating how we cook our dinner.” Gov. Phil Murphy has been vocal in pushing us away from natural gas, in the hopes the state will rely on renewable energy by 2050. But there’s no talk about a state-level ban on gas stoves. Still, for Republicans, even the potential suggestion of a ban can fry up some easy headlines.
BRIEFING BREATHER
People are more creative in the shower.
PATERSON – Photos of colorless meat, shriveled carrots and other stomach-turning lunches served to thousands of Paterson students some 16 months ago made the rounds on social media. Seeking to beef up its menu, the Board of Education recently awarded a $9.1 million contract to a new provider. This could be a recipe for disaster; the new food service company was roasted in Washington, DC last year for meals that officials described as “completely unidentifiable.” The Record reports Paterson education officials were not aware of these previous issues. Meanwhile, school officials have high hopes the company has since devised a solution – offering at least one digestible serving of rectangular, formerly-frozen pizza. But many brace for a heaping of soggy tater tots and rubber hamburgers, choked down with off-brand, third-world ketchup.
WAYNE – Um, no thanks. After the Wayne mayor made statewide headlines for seeking a 600% raise, he has wisely decided to pull the controversial item from the township council agenda. The longtime part-time mayor, Chris Vergano, had high hopes of becoming a full-time employee, with a $140,000 salary. But then there was all this backlash, with a steady heaping of media coverage. So, there was no vote at Wednesday’s meeting. “It was (the mayor’s) decision,” Council President Franco Mazzei told the governing body before opening up for the floor for discussion. Vergano didn’t attend the long council meeting. After all, his job is only part-time.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
STOCKHOLM – In what would be a terrific sequel to Footloose, Sweden’s government is agreeing to abolish a law that requires restaurants and nightclubs to secure permits before anyone is allowed to dance. Instead, under this revised policy, venue owners would just need to give the police a phone call with a courtesy head’s up. “It is not reasonable for the state to regulate people’s dance,” Justice Minister Gunnar Strömmer said. “By removing the requirement for a dance permit, we also reduce bureaucracy and costs for entrepreneurs and others who organize dances.” A perfect time to once again quote Psalm 149: Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him…”
And an unrelated bonus from Footloose:
Ariel: Do you wanna kiss me?
Ren: Someday.
Ariel: [Gets in Ren's car] What's this "someday" shit?
Ren: Well, it's just I get the feeling you've been kissed a lot, and I'm afraid I'd suffer by comparison.
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
Wildwood landed its very own TV channel in this week in 1966, as WMGM-TV has its first broadcast as WCMC. (The station is now part of the True Crime Network, specializing in police investigations and forensic science documentaries.)
WORD OF THE WEEK
Intemperate – [in-TEM-puh-rut] – adjective
Definition: Having or showing a lack of emotional calmness or control.
Example: Forgive my intemperate rant against this little piggie.
WIT OF THE WEEK
“Capitalism has defeated communism. It is now well on its way to defeating democracy.”
- David Korten
BIDEN BLURB
“Capitalism has defeated communism. It is now well on its way to defeating democracy.”
-Joe Biden
WEEKEND WEATHER IN A WORD
40s
STATEWIDE – Anyone who relies on our “Weather in a Word” at the bottom of this newsletter for weather-related precision is quick to note an odd trend: There has been no indication, whatsoever, of snow this winter. Looking ahead to our official, never-questioned 10-day forecast, it looks like this could end up being the least snowy January since the first climatologist stuck his toe outside the log cabin and offered up a projection. Some perspective: Newark has never, ever reported no snow in January. It is also looking to be the first snowless January in Philly. But as die-hard Giants fans, we really don’t care what happens in that (spit here in disgust) hellhole west of glorious Camden.
PAULSBORO – We may not all be financial geniuses. But when a local deli is suddenly worth $100 million, something just doesn’t sit right. CNBC reports that a fugitive was arrested in Thailand for stock manipulation, stemming from this tiny business in South Jersey. The suspect, living in Hong Kong, as well as his father and another man, even caught the attention of The Bangkok Post for this scheme, reporting they have all been arrested for concocting a crazy value for the Hometown Deli. The world eagerly awaits a creative defense in this case, as perhaps this deli investor tries to explain how his wonderful $300,000 pastrami sandwiches are all the rage, prompting the $100 million value of a business whose greatest assets seem to be an outdoor garbage can, two planters and three American flags.
TRENTON – Could the gas stove wars be coming to New Jersey? Republicans are already worried that Gov. Phil Murphy will follow some federal concerns, with a product safety agency decreeing gas stoves as “a hidden hazard.” There’s worry about pollution, but no one in D.C. with any power will dare support such a controversial ban. Still, state senators Steven Oroho and Joe Pennachio are calling for legislation that protects all of our kitchen stoves in New Jersey. NJ.com offers up a great quote from Oroho: “We certainly don’t need Democrats in our kitchens dictating how we cook our dinner.” Gov. Phil Murphy has been vocal in pushing us away from natural gas, in the hopes the state will rely on renewable energy by 2050. But there’s no talk about a state-level ban on gas stoves. Still, for Republicans, even the potential suggestion of a ban can fry up some easy headlines.
BRIEFING BREATHER
People are more creative in the shower.
PATERSON – Photos of colorless meat, shriveled carrots and other stomach-turning lunches served to thousands of Paterson students some 16 months ago made the rounds on social media. Seeking to beef up its menu, the Board of Education recently awarded a $9.1 million contract to a new provider. This could be a recipe for disaster; the new food service company was roasted in Washington, DC last year for meals that officials described as “completely unidentifiable.” The Record reports Paterson education officials were not aware of these previous issues. Meanwhile, school officials have high hopes the company has since devised a solution – offering at least one digestible serving of rectangular, formerly-frozen pizza. But many brace for a heaping of soggy tater tots and rubber hamburgers, choked down with off-brand, third-world ketchup.
WAYNE – Um, no thanks. After the Wayne mayor made statewide headlines for seeking a 600% raise, he has wisely decided to pull the controversial item from the township council agenda. The longtime part-time mayor, Chris Vergano, had high hopes of becoming a full-time employee, with a $140,000 salary. But then there was all this backlash, with a steady heaping of media coverage. So, there was no vote at Wednesday’s meeting. “It was (the mayor’s) decision,” Council President Franco Mazzei told the governing body before opening up for the floor for discussion. Vergano didn’t attend the long council meeting. After all, his job is only part-time.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
STOCKHOLM – In what would be a terrific sequel to Footloose, Sweden’s government is agreeing to abolish a law that requires restaurants and nightclubs to secure permits before anyone is allowed to dance. Instead, under this revised policy, venue owners would just need to give the police a phone call with a courtesy head’s up. “It is not reasonable for the state to regulate people’s dance,” Justice Minister Gunnar Strömmer said. “By removing the requirement for a dance permit, we also reduce bureaucracy and costs for entrepreneurs and others who organize dances.” A perfect time to once again quote Psalm 149: Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him…”
And an unrelated bonus from Footloose:
Ariel: Do you wanna kiss me?
Ren: Someday.
Ariel: [Gets in Ren's car] What's this "someday" shit?
Ren: Well, it's just I get the feeling you've been kissed a lot, and I'm afraid I'd suffer by comparison.
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
Wildwood landed its very own TV channel in this week in 1966, as WMGM-TV has its first broadcast as WCMC. (The station is now part of the True Crime Network, specializing in police investigations and forensic science documentaries.)
WORD OF THE WEEK
Intemperate – [in-TEM-puh-rut] – adjective
Definition: Having or showing a lack of emotional calmness or control.
Example: Forgive my intemperate rant against this little piggie.
WIT OF THE WEEK
“Capitalism has defeated communism. It is now well on its way to defeating democracy.”
- David Korten
BIDEN BLURB
“Capitalism has defeated communism. It is now well on its way to defeating democracy.”
-Joe Biden
WEEKEND WEATHER IN A WORD
40s