The Jaffe Briefing - December 23, 2022
TRENTON – Gov. Phil Murphy v. U.S. Supreme Court. Our governor is snubbing the high court's controversial decision, signing a law yesterday that limits where New Jerseyans can carry guns. Though most (hopefully) agree that America needs fewer people packing heat in public places, the new law will face an imminent court challenge from pro-gun people. The governor also signed legislation that overhauls the state’s process for receiving a concealed carry permit and requires gun owners to buy liability insurance for carrying around their handguns. New Jersey proudly leads the nation with its super-stringent gun regulations, a valiant effort to curtail the rampant gun violence that has made our country the international poster child for senseless shootings. Have we become too stringent? Well, there have been 636 mass shootings in America just this year, reports the Gun Violence Archive. You decide.
PATERSON – We get sent lots of press releases. But this may take the cake (or cookie.) An entity called “Lawn Love” went on a “cookie mission” across the country to determine the location of the freshest cookies. Amongst the official rankings, this entity is reporting Paterson ranks seventh nationally with its “huge access to confectionary delights.” These are impressive findings, as you can likely find a decent, fresh-baked cookie anywhere in the country. The so-called researchers explain the metrics for their, uh, full investigation: “We looked for cities with great access to tasty cookies, including late-night cookie vendors and Girl Scout Cookie booths. We also considered TimeOut’s list of “The best cookies in the US,” as well as local interest indicated by Google searches.” Oh, and the absolute worst city for cookie access? Amarillo, TX.
MARMORA – Will anyone ever be able to catch “Mootilda”? She’s a local cow in Upper Township that’s been on the loose since this summer. The Press of Atlantic City has been chronicling her travels, with reports of people who have fed her. One woman even bought a wading pool at the local supermarket, dragged it into the woods and filled it with water so Mootilda could have some cool drinks over the summer. Mootilda roams a wide area; she can cover five miles in a day. It is widely assumed that an Atlantic City Electric project, with new power lines, is a bit loud, so Mootilda steers clear. No one knows who originally owned the cow, and Upper Township officials remain mum. There’s high hope Mootilda can be adopted, as an 800-pound animal needs care and can’t just be left to roam, especially in the winter. Plus there’s always the dang, gun-toting hunters; we have a real beef with them.
TRENTON – It’s the height of the gift-giving season. So, what do you get a multi-millionaire like Gov. Murphy? The Record provides a handy guide, reporting on all the presents the governor has received since he took office in 2018. And, boy, there are some items of interest, like a beer pong game, a chocolate penis, a set of cufflinks from Donald Trump, Oprah Winfrey books and a Rutgers football helmet. In fact, the Record reports, there are more than 800 gifts that have been recorded. Some boring, like shirts, pens and cups. Some religious, like Bibles. Some clever, like single-use plastic bags to mark his very-effective bag ban. And a book of fiction about a guy from Massachusetts, who happens to be named “Phil Murphy.” Here’s the canned response from the governor’s office: He “remains humbled and appreciative of the generosity of so many New Jersey residents.”
BRIEFING BREATHER
Saint Lucia is the only country in the world named after a woman.
JERSEY CITY – $1 billion a mile. That’s the latest number for the controversial highway-widening project that is planned for a strip of the New Jersey Turnpike from Newark Liberty Airport through Jersey City. State officials want to spend $10.7 billion (with a b) to make it possible for even more trucks and cars to travel 8.1 miles toward Lower Manhattan. The hope is that adding as many as four lanes would provide some relief at the port and modernize a stretch of road that hasn’t seen any big-time repairs since it was built in the 1950s, The New York Times reports. But many local officials pose a great question: does it make sense to add capacity for many more cars and trucks make sense, especially when you can only squeeze so many vehicles into the Holland Tunnel? And worse: what about the air quality in Jersey City, as this mega-project just invites even more commercial traffic? And let’s add one more question onto the pile: New Jersey is trying to expand capacity into NYC, while the city is adopting “congestion-price tolls” to keep all this traffic away. Officials in Jersey City and Hoboken are aghast, adopting resolutions in opposition.
TRENTON – Your company does business with Russia? Then New Jersey doesn’t want to hear from you. In fact, there are 157 companies now on the blacklist, Politico reports, saying they have been universally banned from doing business with the state because they are connected to Russia or its nasty little stepbrother, Belarus. The state recently updated the naughty list of businesses on the state Treasury website. These companies — which include oil, industrial, tech and health care — are blocked from all public investments in the state, as well as banned from getting economic subsidies, municipal property tax abatements and PILOT agreements. It may mean nothing for these international companies, but it’s a powerful message.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SHEPHERDSVILLE, Ky. – Everybody knows “Cousin Eddie” from the “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” movies. Except, it seems, for a woman from Kentucky, who called the police when she saw an odd holiday display on a front lawn. She told a police dispatcher that there was a man standing outside, naked, in a robe covering parts of his body. She says, “He has a robe covering part of his body. He is exposing himself, and he has a hose between his legs.” Officers descended on the home, only to find a mannequin in the yard, decorated with a robe, a hat, a cigar and a beer and holding what appeared to be an orange hose, WDRB reports. The homeowner told police that she put up the display to pay homage to her favorite Christmas movie, seeking a good laugh. “Never a dull moment,” says Shepherdsville Police Chief Rick McCubbin.
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
We didn’t know you can “rent out” your email contacts. But that’s what Hillary Clinton did in 2014, when she leased her 2008 campaign list to supporters who wanted her to run for President.
WORD OF THE WEEK
Sully – [SUL-ee] – verb
Definition: To make soiled or tarnished
Example: I hate seeing cigarette butts sullying my favorite winter walking trail.
WIT OF THE WEEK
“We have found the Irish to be somewhat odd. They refuse to be English.”
-Winston Churchill
BIDEN BLURB
“I may be Irish, but I’m not stupid.”
-Joe Biden
WEEKEND WEATHER IN A WORD
Dropping
TRENTON – Gov. Phil Murphy v. U.S. Supreme Court. Our governor is snubbing the high court's controversial decision, signing a law yesterday that limits where New Jerseyans can carry guns. Though most (hopefully) agree that America needs fewer people packing heat in public places, the new law will face an imminent court challenge from pro-gun people. The governor also signed legislation that overhauls the state’s process for receiving a concealed carry permit and requires gun owners to buy liability insurance for carrying around their handguns. New Jersey proudly leads the nation with its super-stringent gun regulations, a valiant effort to curtail the rampant gun violence that has made our country the international poster child for senseless shootings. Have we become too stringent? Well, there have been 636 mass shootings in America just this year, reports the Gun Violence Archive. You decide.
PATERSON – We get sent lots of press releases. But this may take the cake (or cookie.) An entity called “Lawn Love” went on a “cookie mission” across the country to determine the location of the freshest cookies. Amongst the official rankings, this entity is reporting Paterson ranks seventh nationally with its “huge access to confectionary delights.” These are impressive findings, as you can likely find a decent, fresh-baked cookie anywhere in the country. The so-called researchers explain the metrics for their, uh, full investigation: “We looked for cities with great access to tasty cookies, including late-night cookie vendors and Girl Scout Cookie booths. We also considered TimeOut’s list of “The best cookies in the US,” as well as local interest indicated by Google searches.” Oh, and the absolute worst city for cookie access? Amarillo, TX.
MARMORA – Will anyone ever be able to catch “Mootilda”? She’s a local cow in Upper Township that’s been on the loose since this summer. The Press of Atlantic City has been chronicling her travels, with reports of people who have fed her. One woman even bought a wading pool at the local supermarket, dragged it into the woods and filled it with water so Mootilda could have some cool drinks over the summer. Mootilda roams a wide area; she can cover five miles in a day. It is widely assumed that an Atlantic City Electric project, with new power lines, is a bit loud, so Mootilda steers clear. No one knows who originally owned the cow, and Upper Township officials remain mum. There’s high hope Mootilda can be adopted, as an 800-pound animal needs care and can’t just be left to roam, especially in the winter. Plus there’s always the dang, gun-toting hunters; we have a real beef with them.
TRENTON – It’s the height of the gift-giving season. So, what do you get a multi-millionaire like Gov. Murphy? The Record provides a handy guide, reporting on all the presents the governor has received since he took office in 2018. And, boy, there are some items of interest, like a beer pong game, a chocolate penis, a set of cufflinks from Donald Trump, Oprah Winfrey books and a Rutgers football helmet. In fact, the Record reports, there are more than 800 gifts that have been recorded. Some boring, like shirts, pens and cups. Some religious, like Bibles. Some clever, like single-use plastic bags to mark his very-effective bag ban. And a book of fiction about a guy from Massachusetts, who happens to be named “Phil Murphy.” Here’s the canned response from the governor’s office: He “remains humbled and appreciative of the generosity of so many New Jersey residents.”
BRIEFING BREATHER
Saint Lucia is the only country in the world named after a woman.
JERSEY CITY – $1 billion a mile. That’s the latest number for the controversial highway-widening project that is planned for a strip of the New Jersey Turnpike from Newark Liberty Airport through Jersey City. State officials want to spend $10.7 billion (with a b) to make it possible for even more trucks and cars to travel 8.1 miles toward Lower Manhattan. The hope is that adding as many as four lanes would provide some relief at the port and modernize a stretch of road that hasn’t seen any big-time repairs since it was built in the 1950s, The New York Times reports. But many local officials pose a great question: does it make sense to add capacity for many more cars and trucks make sense, especially when you can only squeeze so many vehicles into the Holland Tunnel? And worse: what about the air quality in Jersey City, as this mega-project just invites even more commercial traffic? And let’s add one more question onto the pile: New Jersey is trying to expand capacity into NYC, while the city is adopting “congestion-price tolls” to keep all this traffic away. Officials in Jersey City and Hoboken are aghast, adopting resolutions in opposition.
TRENTON – Your company does business with Russia? Then New Jersey doesn’t want to hear from you. In fact, there are 157 companies now on the blacklist, Politico reports, saying they have been universally banned from doing business with the state because they are connected to Russia or its nasty little stepbrother, Belarus. The state recently updated the naughty list of businesses on the state Treasury website. These companies — which include oil, industrial, tech and health care — are blocked from all public investments in the state, as well as banned from getting economic subsidies, municipal property tax abatements and PILOT agreements. It may mean nothing for these international companies, but it’s a powerful message.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SHEPHERDSVILLE, Ky. – Everybody knows “Cousin Eddie” from the “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” movies. Except, it seems, for a woman from Kentucky, who called the police when she saw an odd holiday display on a front lawn. She told a police dispatcher that there was a man standing outside, naked, in a robe covering parts of his body. She says, “He has a robe covering part of his body. He is exposing himself, and he has a hose between his legs.” Officers descended on the home, only to find a mannequin in the yard, decorated with a robe, a hat, a cigar and a beer and holding what appeared to be an orange hose, WDRB reports. The homeowner told police that she put up the display to pay homage to her favorite Christmas movie, seeking a good laugh. “Never a dull moment,” says Shepherdsville Police Chief Rick McCubbin.
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
We didn’t know you can “rent out” your email contacts. But that’s what Hillary Clinton did in 2014, when she leased her 2008 campaign list to supporters who wanted her to run for President.
WORD OF THE WEEK
Sully – [SUL-ee] – verb
Definition: To make soiled or tarnished
Example: I hate seeing cigarette butts sullying my favorite winter walking trail.
WIT OF THE WEEK
“We have found the Irish to be somewhat odd. They refuse to be English.”
-Winston Churchill
BIDEN BLURB
“I may be Irish, but I’m not stupid.”
-Joe Biden
WEEKEND WEATHER IN A WORD
Dropping