The Jaffe Briefing - May 10, 2022

TRENTON – Gov. Phil Murphy is eager to close loopholes in the state’s bribery laws. And where’s the fun in that? He is looking to tighten the grip on a proposed law that would make it illegal for political candidates to accept bribes – those go-getters who want to start collecting paper bags full of cash before they are even elected. Murphy gave a conditional veto to the new law, calling for amendments that make sure that no one can weasel out of the law by incorrectly interpreting the statute. Murphy also wants to pursue those murky individuals in the shadows who serve as the go-between in setting up the bribe and perhaps push an envelope here or there.  If the governor keeps going down this path of purity and justice, how will our wanna-be politicians get their bribes? It just doesn’t seem fair.

TRENTON – State officials are also pursuing psycho ex-boyfriends and other lurkers, who are now using Apple AirTags to illegally track former beaus.  On the surface, these cheap devices seem like great little products, especially for travelers who have high hopes of having their luggage follow them to their final destination. But then, back to the psychos.  They are now attaching AirTags to cars or whatever without the consent of the other person, and then easily tracking their steps throughout the day on an iPhone. Assemblyman Paul Moriarty wants such a nefarious act to be a fourth-degree crime, New Jersey Monitor reports. Any freaked-out former girlfriend would certainly agree.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Playing dance music can help ward off mosquitoes.

STATEWIDE – Let’s assume skateboards, roller blades and unicycles are becoming popular modes of transportation in New Jersey, as gas prices are at levels that we’ve never experienced. Gas costs a buck more a gallon since the middle of March, as we are seeing an average cost of $4.47 a gallon statewide. The best deals are in Sussex County, if you can afford to drive up there, where Cletus sells his gas for $4.38 a gallon. And the most expensive place? The rolling hills of Somerset County, where people are filling their Audis for $4.56 a gallon. And if you are an electric car driver – giggling like crazy as you watch this all unfold – remember that you are paying too, as consumer costs are linked to the high price of transportation. So, everyone, enjoy that $2 avocado.

STATEWIDE – It’s sure tough to write about COVID-19 numbers, as the public no longer gives a hoot about which counties have higher rates than others. Yeah, we are all burned out on the COVID news, as there’s so many other pressing matters that demand our attention. Still, NJ.com feels a duty to report on this dumb, lingering pandemic.  So, if you can keep your eyelids from drooping, here is the latest: Two-third of New Jersey’s counties have a “medium” transmission rate, which means there is still no mask advisory, but cases are on the rise, or whatever.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

CHICAGO – Let’s assume he was just desperate for leg room. How else can you explain why a United passenger would open the exit door and climb out onto the wing of a jet as it taxied at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport. To add to the flair of it all, the passenger then jumped onto the tarmac during his stunt last Thursday and attempted to direct the pilot to the right gate, before he was grabbed by United employees. The 57-year-old passenger decided to make his Exit Stage Left as the jet was approaching Terminal 1. No one was injured, but the activity was much more interesting than anything currently available on United’s in-flight entertainment.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1994 that Barbra Streisand begins her first concert tour in 30 years; Yentl fans are verklempt.

WORD OF THE DAY

Sagacious – [suh-GAY-shus] – adjective

Definition: Having or showing an ability to understand difficult ideas and situations and to make good decisions

Example: The office interns believe that I am a sagacious mentor and a compassionate teacher. Or at least I think they do.

WIT OF THE DAY

“No news is good news. No journalists is even better.”

-Nicolas Bentley

BIDEN BLURB

“Think of what the American press has done. The courage it's taken to stay in those war zones. ... I can't tell you how much respect I have, watching them in these zones, under fire, risking their lives, to make sure the world gets the truth.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Beauty