The Jaffe Briefing - April 12, 2022
The Jaffe Briefing is going on spring break on Thursday, April 14, returning Monday, April 25
NEWARK – Just in time for spring break, the message from leaders at Newark Liberty Airport: We suck less. J.D. Power had Newark as dead last in customer satisfaction surveys in 2019 and 2020, as New Jerseyans just assume a simple trip to the airport must be stressful, maddening and exhausting. But airport officials tell NJ.com that they have been working hard on the “experience.” And the latest study from Airports Council International says the needle is moving in a positive way, as the airport attempts to be friendlier, cleaner and more secure, with all these new, wonderful overpriced restaurants. Or how about this? Just shorter security lines, on-time departures and an affordable bottle of water. We’ll even take it warm.
BRIEFING BREATHER
You are 13.8 percent more likely to die on your birthday.
WEST ORANGE – Caddies have filed a lawsuit, claiming they are being treated like, well, caddies, at the Montclair Golf Club. The class-action lawsuit, on behalf of 250 caddies, focuses on the way caddies are paid and treated, the Record reports. Golfers pay $60 a bag and then tip the caddies, like anywhere else. But the caddies are complaining they have to work up to 14 hours a day during peak season, which are typical caddie hours. And they are at the whim of the “caddie master,” who runs the roost and directs the big spenders to the most-favored caddies. And the caddies complain they have to fetch beers for golfers, set up tournaments, clean bathrooms and need to show up on time, or be punished. Again, all typical caddie work. But now these caddies are demanding to be paid minimum wage and overtime, which doesn’t exactly fit in this tried-and-true formula for hustlers who can earn plenty of cash off the books.
STATEWIDE – It could be a high moment for the state’s nascent cannabis industry. State regulators are allowing seven medical marijuana dispensaries to begin selling weed to any adult, for any reason. And when, finally, will the doors swing open to the pot-smoking public? It looks like just a few short weeks, as these eager entrepreneurs have to work through a short checklist of state-mandated to-do items. But it seems like there is now a fire under the Cannabis Regulatory Commission, facing pressure from state legislators, to finally get the party started.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
PARK TOWNSHIP, MI – Two questions: Why would anyone own a 7-foot-tall metal sasquatch lawn ornament? And, better yet, why would someone steal it? It’s all a real head scratcher for the Michigan State Police, after this unremarkable neighborhood eyesore was lifted from Park Township on or after March 22. The thing was a real mess, rusted into various brown colors, with sharp edges, resembling the mythical, ape-like bigfoot. It also seems like someone put a lot of effort into the theft, using a pair of bolt cutters to wedge the sasquatch off the metal post. A white panel van with dark driver- and passenger-side windows was observed in the area. And anyone driving such a vehicle has to be guilty of something.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
A California-based actor in politics? It was true (again) on this day in 1988, when Sonny Bono is elected mayor of Palm Springs.
WORD OF THE DAY
Zoomorphic – [zoh-uh-MOR-fik] - adjective
Definition: Having the form of an animal
Example: Does this dress make me look zoomorphic?
WIT OF THE DAY
“If you don't win, you're going to be fired. If you do win, you've only put off the day you're going to be fired.”
-Leo Durocher
BIDEN BLURB
“Who do I need to fire to fix this?”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Raindrops