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The Jaffe Briefing - April 11, 2022

The Jaffe Briefing is going on spring break on Thursday, April 14, returning Monday, April 25.

TRENTON – A meeting of the state’s Cannabis Regulatory Commission is suddenly front page news, as the panel meets again today to address what has become the big, pressing question: When can New Jerseyans finally buy recreational weed? For months, there have been delays and delays, prompting fury among cannabis entrepreneurs who are heavily investing in this nascent industry, as well as mellow residents who are slightly curious where their next bag will come from. The commission has a “special meeting” today, in which it may or may not determine when the doors can swing open. With so much public pressure, political squawking and media interest, it will be tough to justify why the bong should be kicked down the road. Again.

TOMS RIVER – The New York Times pondered: Which county in New Jersey has the least number of people vaccinated? That would be the GOP bastion of Ocean County. And, with the most unvaccinated people, guess which county in New Jersey has the most COVID-related deaths? Well, we all know that answer. But the big question is why, despite all the facts, are county residents so darn stubborn? One reason: Donald J. Trump. In the 2020 “stolen” election, when New Jerseyans fled toward Joe Biden, Trump still won Ocean County by almost 29 percentage points, as people didn’t want an “invasion of their bodies” via a life-saving vaccine. Less than 60% of Ocean County residents are vaccinated, as opposed to the statewide average of 80%. So, congrats to Ocean County residents for embracing personal choice, logical or not.

TOTOWA – Lawyers love the ol’ “the coffee is too hot” suit. And now they are seeing dollars from Dunkin’, as a local man says he suffered second- and third-degree burns when coffee spilled in his lap. The Record reports the legal team is not yet divulging how hot the coffee was; that’s still the subject of a full investigation. The lawsuit claims the coffee chain was “negligent in the preparation, sale and service" of the coffee, as the victim suffered "pain and mental anguish," required medical care and suffered permanent injury. Clearly, lawyers run on Dunkin’.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Dragonflies have six legs, but can’t walk.

NEW BRUNSWICK – It’s just allegations, but, boy, what a whopper. A whistleblower is suing Rutgers, claiming it hired its own MBA graduates to gin up the employment percentages for the school’s success story, NJ.com reports. The university's business school proudly touts its high rankings for “employment outcomes” and other impressive things. But the whistleblower claims it’s all smoke and mirrors, because RU created bogus jobs, using a temp agency to hire the unemployed MBA graduates, placing them in full-time “sham positions” within the school. Apparently, it worked, as RU has been propelled to the “No. 1” business school in the Northeast. Obviously, RU isn’t talking about these claims. But this guarantee of a full-time job – deserved or not – should certainly be touted in the glossy brochure.

ASBURY PARK – It wasn’t that long ago that any visit to this seashore city was quick, as you locked your car doors and kept it in well-lit areas. But the city’s renaissance is now in full force. There’s a race to design the latest gleaming buildings and wooing rich New Yorkers (suckers) with luxury development way over $1 million per unit. NJ.com reports that hundreds of millions of dollars are now being spent in redevelopment zones, creating glass-and-steel palaces with every amenity imaginable. Developers, eager for approvals, are also installing streetlights, roads, landscaping and even more parking, as competition is fierce for any speck of buildable land with an ocean view. If you still have high hopes of living in Asbury Park, perhaps check out the other side of the tracks.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

FIJINAART, NETHERLANDS – There’s money, of course. But what thieves really want here is cheese. A dairy farmer awoke March 29 and quickly went to check out the storage room. There, her worst fears were discovered: Overnight, thieves had taken 161 wheels of cheese, weighing more than 3,500 pounds. The street value? About $23,000. Not only that, but these criminals also took her trailer and two wheelbarrows to carry away the big haul. Cops say it appears the front gate to the property was left opened during the overnight milk delivery. Hmm, perhaps there was an accomplice. No one has yet been arrested in this cheese caper. 

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 2011 that it became illegal in France to wear a burqa and hijab.

WORD OF THE DAY

Druthers – [DRUH-therz] – noun

Definition: A free choice or preference

Example: If I had my druthers, bitcoin would just go away.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.”

-Jim Halpert

BIDEN BLURB

“Our economy added 7.9 million jobs since I took office—more jobs created on average per month than under any other president in history.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Milder