The Jaffe Briefing - December 10, 2021

PISCATAWAY – It doesn’t matter what else is happening in New Jersey. To heck with it all. The big news – hands down – was Ron Harper Jr. with a buzzer-beater last night at the RAC, as the Rutgers basketball team shocked the world and some nearby planets, defeating No. 1 Purdue before an ecstatic, tear-filled crowd that stormed the court. It was the first time in program history that RU defeated a No. 1 team. If you live under a rock and haven’t seen Harper’s shot, here it is: https://twitter.com/RutgersMBB/status/1469157870130315272?s=20.

TRENTON – There are billions of dollars in pandemic relief for New Jersey, and many still remain unclear about how it is being spent. NJ Spotlight is desperately trying to follow the money, as just last week, the state Legislature approved nearly $700 million outside the typical budget process of public hearings and debate. Are there any policies to ensure that billions in federal funding is spent in a way the people want? It appears that Guy Phil Murphy is the ultimate decider on all this, with his administration apparently working with key legislative leaders on deciding where the windfall goes. So far, it looks like about half of the $6 billion in federal aid has been appropriated, for stuff like rental help and trauma centers. Will we see the detailed accounting? How much is decided behind closed doors? And who is lucky enough to get back there?

TRENTON – With the distinction of being “the most annoying news story of the month,” there’s an update about the GOP lawmakers refusing to show a vaccination card or negative test upon entrance to the Statehouse. The Assembly leadership initially had a week of virtual meetings so the Republicans could participate and maybe something could get accomplished. Now, on Monday, the Assembly will be convening again at the Statehouse, in person for committee hearings, under very sensible health and safety rules. And will that gin up a whole new round of nonsense between a gaggle of Republicans and the State Police at the Statehouse entrance? With another glorious media opportunity, you bet.

BRIEFING BREATHER

In Switzerland, it is illegal to own just one guinea pig.

UPPER SADDLE RIVER – Want a free estate in one of the most expensive zip codes in the U.S.? We bet you do, and there’s one for the taking. A retiree living on five acres of lush land on Hillside Avenue, with a home, an indoor pool, a greenhouse and a bamboo forest, says he can’t find anyone to take his house under his precise conditions. First, he isn’t leaving and will likely die there. And, second, he wants the property to remain exactly the same, into perpetuity. And that would require the new resident to spend about $120,000 a year on maintaining the property to his specifications, keeping that indoor pool nice and warm, and paying the gobs of property taxes. And, yeah, there is no air conditioning, as the senior says any new resident could just open the damn window. This life-long bachelor is relenting on one point, the Record notes. Any future resident would no longer need to preserve his vast collections of art, glass, lamps, dishes and antiques that cover every wall and table surface. Still interested? 

MAYWOOD – Election Day seems very far in the rear window, as we now deck the halls. Yet, here, the November election is nowhere near over. The Record reports that two candidates are still locked in a tie: Council President Katherine Bennin, a Democrat, and Republican Danyel Cicarelli have 1,437 votes apiece. No one asked for a recount, so that means the town needs to have a special election. It is now with the attorneys, who need to confer, debate, submit bills, etc., as the process is established. And that means this election season will drag into 2022.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

NORWOOD, MA – The key is to weed out the competition. And that is exactly what a Massachusetts cannabis business did this week, creating the largest pot brownie ever imagined. In this bake-off, the company concocted an 850-pound brownie, 3 foot by 3 foot. The super brownie will now be sent to a dispensary, sliced up into many, many, many pieces and then sold to medical marijuana patients for a fun chow-down. The AP did not release the current price for a mega-brownie that is at least 15 inches thick, and assume the buyer wouldn’t remember anyway.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 2010 that the FAA admitted that, uh, it doesn’t know who owns more than 119,000 private planes.

WORD OF THE DAY

Palisade – [pal-uh-SAYD] – noun

Definition: A fence of stakes used for defense or to a line of steep cliffs.

Example: There are plenty of those single-use plastic bags stuck on the palisade; just another reason why I’m pleased the state will be banning these bags beginning May 4, 2022.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Vaccinated person having a heart attack? Yes, come right in, we’ll take care of you. Unvaccinated guy who gobbled horse goo? Rest in peace, wheezy.”

-Jimmy Kimmel

BIDEN BLURB

“The unvaccinated overcrowd our hospitals, are overrunning the emergency rooms and intensive care units, leaving no room for someone with a heart attack, or pancreatitis or cancer.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Comfier