The Jaffe Briefing - December 9, 2021

GARFIELD – It’s commonly called the “Bat Cave,” and there are high hopes it can remain open. The cave is famously home to bats, sloths, pythons and an alligator as part of the official-sounding “Wildlife Conservation and Education Center.” But there’s a new landlord and perhaps the Bat Cave will be sent packing, the Record reports. A lease extension is hanging in the balance, and the new property owner of the Midland Avenue building is mum on plans, as the 100 animals – some endangered – wait. The curator says he has spent tens of thousands of dollars on the place. And where else in Garfield can you see a kinkajou, a coatimundi, sloths, a dwarf caiman alligator, pythons, lizards, tortoises, toads, tarantulas, giant millipedes and giant Central American cockroaches, all in one place? Clearly, this is a community gem.

SOMERVILLE – Sure, we all love our MVC offices. But why does one need to be located in a residential neighborhood? That’s what Somerville officials are asking, vowing to go all the way to Gov. Phil Murphy to get the state to relocate the bustling operation from Roosevelt Place, the Courier News reports. Veteran Councilman Granville Brady was feisty at Monday's borough council meeting, vowing to take the issue all the way to the big guy. “This governor said I have to be more pro-active because I almost lost the election, Brady said. ‘Well, Bucky, this is one way you can be more pro-active.” Residents have been complaining for decades about all the traffic, illegal parking, littering, trespassing and the loud grousing of frustrated motorists. Silver lining: whenever a resident needs to renew a license, he can conveniently join the line snaking across his driveway.

STATEWIDE – It is likely the most important story of the season, but it’s sure tough to get anyone to care. Yeah, we are talking about congressional redistricting. And if you can stay awake long enough to read this entire blurb, we will try to explain why it’s so darn important. Ya awake? Good. There is a 13-member, independent, bi-partisan committee redrawing the lines, meaning you may have a new member of Congress representing you, based on the new 2020 Census. So, politicians can find themselves in even “safer” districts, as part of all the jostling, or may end up in the crosshairs of other aspiring lawmakers in “new towns,” salivating for one of the 12 congressional seats in New Jersey. Redistricting creates a big, fat unknown. And entrenched politicians have no interest in playing musical chairs.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Banging your head against a wall for one hour burns 150 calories.

STATEWIDE – There are many ways to get scammed this holiday season. Heck, you’ve probably been scammed five times since you woke up. But the Federal Trade Commission says there is a real and growing problem with gift card scams, with $148 million reported lost this year from 40,000 people, NJ.com reports. Scammers act like they are government officials or big business, selling bogus cards or ones that are already wiped clean of any value. Top targets: Target, Apple, Google Play and Walmart. Ah, the holidays…

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

STATEWIDE – It’s that time of the year to look back and reflect. So, let’s look back and reflect on the most mispronounced names of 2021. Broadcasters have not yet seemed to master the pronunciation of singer-songwriter Billie Eilish (EYE-lish) and Philadelphia Eagles center Jason Kelce (KELs), as well as the term “Cheugy” (CHOO-gee) and our favorite variant “Omicron.” (AH-muh-kraan) These four topped this year’s list of the most butchered words, according to the U.S. Captioning Company, which provides TV captions for news anchors trying to appear smart. Other really tricky words in 2021: Dogecoin (DOHJ-coin), Ethereum (ih-THEE-ree-um), Glasgow (GLAHZ-go), Stefanos Tsitsipas (STEH-fuh-nohs TSEE-tsee-pas) and, our favorite, Yassify (YEAH-sih-fai).

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 2010 that China created the “Confucius Peace Prize” and decided to honor a former Taiwanese vice president, who promptly refused it.

WORD OF THE DAY

Rankle – [RANK-ul] – verb

Definition: To cause anger, irritation, or bitterness.

Example: Sometimes, we rankle our readers.

WIT OF THE DAY

“The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it…Don't forget to visit your mother.”

-Rocky Balboa

BIDEN BLURB

“We all know life can knock us down. But in America, we never, ever, ever stay down. Americans always get up. Today, that's what we're doing.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Bundle