The Jaffe Briefing - November 9, 2021
TRENTON – After his razor-thin victory, Gov. Phil Murphy is doing some soul-searching. He’s gotta be thinking: I’ve got a big budget surplus in a blue state, yet I almost lost? As our governor runs to the political middle – taking a break from all those wildly left-leaning progressive policies for the moment – he is now looking at that in-school mask mandate. Politico reports he may scrap the requirement for the older grades as more and more kids over the age of 12 are vaccinated; just 250,000 more students need the shot to hit comfortable levels. If you ask any high school kid about the mandate, he or she will likely talk about all the inconsistencies – like the super-spreader events known as lunchtime or the high school football game or gym class. Mask mandates are effective when all kids correctly and consistently wear masks. And where is that happening?
TRENTON – The toppled applecart known as the New Jersey Senate is churning news, as entrenched Democrats finally see a chance to clinch the Senate President gig – one of the most powerful positions in the state. Names are getting thrown all over North Jersey, which envisions it will claim the big seat from South Jersey, following Senate President Steve Sweeney’s 11-year reign. The latest names? Sen. Nia Gill of Essex County and Sen. Nicholas Scutari of Union County. Of course, it all depends on who generates the support among key Democratic leadership, in the horse trades between North and South Jersey, and all the other closed-door discussions with unelected power brokers, way beyond the interest of the typical gotta-get-to-work New Jerseyan.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – A big part of the election night drama is the highly-anticipated concession speech from the loser, standing next to the teary-eyed spouse and all the sleep-starved campaign workers who struggle to come to grips with the final tallies and wonder how they will breathe another breath. NJ.com notes the primetime concession speeches this election season haven’t been coming as both Jack Ciattarelli and Steve Sweeney are praying for truckloads of votes to suddenly appear on the New Jersey Turnpike and save them at the 11th hour from defeat. Those rumbling trucks are not arriving, of course, but it all seems very Trump-like, as the former president has still not delivered his concession speech for the 2020 election. At this point, we assume it may not be coming, after all. #StoptheSteal
BRIEFING BREATHER
Every U.S. state shares a letter with the word "mackerel" except for Ohio.
TRENTON – America’s favorite senator-elect – Ed Durr – is now trading barbs with Gov. Phil Murphy and is listed on the current “Top 10” of Trump’s speed dial. My, what a difference 2,000 votes can make in the 3rd Legislative District. After accepting a phone call from the former president, with a brief, mutual lovefest, the professional furniture delivery man is slamming the governor, after Murphy called him “a dangerous guy.” The senator-elect’s response? “Murphy’s policies have made New Jersey the most-moved-out-of-state in the nation, closed one-third of our small businesses and killed 10,000 nursing home residents,” Durr said. “The fact is, Phil Murphy is far more dangerous than I could ever be.” Good stuff, Ed, keep feeding the news cycle.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
AUSTIN, TX – A monkey belonging to a University of Texas football coach's stripper girlfriend allegedly bit a child on Halloween. Ok, let that sink in for a second. It all began when the Texas special teams coach left his wife and children for another woman, who happens to be a stripper named “Pole Assassin.” Sports Illustrated reports that the girlfriend recently took to Twitter to set the record straight. Seems that monkey belongs to her, not the boyfriend. She also refuted widespread reports that her pet monkey bit a child on Halloween. The only thing more dizzying here is that Pole Assassin's amazing acrobatics were once showcased on an episode of "The Jerry Springer Show" titled "Be My Baby Donor."
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day, in 1797, that President Adams awoke, gave a stretch and nudged his slumbering wife, Abigail, at the Indian Queen Tavern on Albany Street in New Brunswick. The president had a bit of a headache. It couldn’t have been the venison, which was presented medium rare, with some nice pink. No, it was likely all the ale from the previous evening, when more than 50 people packed the downstairs tavern for a presidential banquet. The guests included Adams’ two army pals from the war, Col. John Neilson (of Neilson Street fame) and Col. John Bayard (of Bayard Street fame). As the booze flowed along with Abigail’s ankle-high skirt, Andrew Kilpatrick (of Kilpatrick Street fame) read a proclamation in support of Adams’ presidency, authorized earlier that day in Trenton. Then, the party raged all night – with plenty of slurred Yankee Doodle Dandy – until the final candle burned out, prompting John and Abigail to stumble toward those tight, rickety stairs to their second-floor lodgings, where they both collapsed on a straw mattress in a heap of powdered wigs.
(Editor’s Note: Some of our written account of the evening, presented above, may not be completely accurate.)
WORD OF THE DAY
Propitiate – [proh-PISH-ee-ayt] – verb
Definition: To gain or regain the favor or goodwill of someone, or to make someone pleased or less angry.
Example: Rutgers fans will have to propitiate the football gods for a decent chance of beating Indiana on Saturday.
WIT OF THE DAY
"Why don't you have that junior plastic surgeon you married design you a new face? One without a mouth!"
-J.R. Ewing
BIDEN BLURB
“I urge all Americans to honor the historic and ongoing contributions of ranchers for their vital contributions and tireless service to our nation.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Beauty