The Jaffe Briefing - November 8, 2021

TRENTON – With the election behind us, time to get back to work. NJ.com reports that state lawmakers have a heap of bills awaiting “lame duck” session, as the state Legislature has not met since the Mets were actually competing to win the eastern division (June). One big whopper is a proposed law that eliminates religion as a viable excuse for parents who refuse to vaccinate their children for school and day care. Democrats, this time around, can’t blindly pass any law they want, as there was an obvious red wave in last week’s election that flipped at least six Assembly seats to Republican and famously knocked out Senate President Steve Sweeney. Senate Majority Leader Loretta Weinberg, who is retiring, summed it up well: “Those who are timid are going to be more timid.” Expect Sweeney, for one, to be a bull.

PITMAN – A new round of elected officials; a new round of apologies. A freshly-elected councilman from South Jersey finds himself on page 3 of today’s Star-Ledger, slammed for being nabbed on Facebook wearing blackface at a Halloween party several years ago. There are already calls for his resignation, as the county election board is still working through finalizing last week’s election. The councilman-elect promptly apologized on Saturday, while the Pitman Anti-Racist Collective hopes the education continues. Oh, and the choice of costume? The rapper Flavor Flav. The councilman, as part of his apology, explained “At the time, Flavor Flav’s yelling of `yeah boy’ made him incredibly popular” and “wearing the costume was a celebration of his fame.” Perhaps there was no need for this politician to be so detailed in his apology, but it certainly adds, er, flavor.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – And, speaking of apologies, we’re still catching up on the one from Edward Durr – New Jersey’s new household name. Durr, the now-famous victor over Sweeney, is sending around apologies for all the anti-Muslim and xenophobic comments he posted to social media. “I‘m a passionate guy and I sometimes say things in the heat of the moment,” said Durr, in a written statement. “If I said things in the past that hurt anybody’s feelings, I sincerely apologize. I support everybody’s right to worship in any manner they choose and to worship the God of their choice. I support all people and I support everybody’s rights. That’s what I am here to do, work for the people and support their rights.” That remorse was in response to his now-famous tweet: “Mohammad was a pedophile! Islam is a false religion! Only fools follow Muslim teachings! It is a cult of hate!” Looking forward to two years of this guy.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Queen Elizabeth’s cows sleep on waterbeds.

STATEWIDE – A federal tax break for New Jersey property taxpayers? That proposal still seems to be swirling around Capitol Hill, as the House’s version of President Joe Biden’s economic priorities would increase the cap on the state and local tax, or SALT, write-off to $80,000, up from the $10,000 limit that Trump slapped on us in 2017, Bloomberg reports. This is a big deal in New Jersey, home to the highest property taxes in the civilized world and perhaps some nearby solar systems. Of course, liberals are appalled that tax breaks would be going to all the greedy, martini-swilling “wealthy elite” in the leafy enclaves of New Jersey. But, back in reality, weary taxpayers here always give Uncle Sam way more money than we can expect in return. How about throwing at least one goodie our way? Just one.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL. – The situation is being called “suboptimal” and you’ll see why in a second. Because of a broken toilet on a capsule, astronauts who departed yesterday from the International Space Station had two options: Either hold it for 20 hours or wear a diaper for the trip that ended with a planned splashdown this morning. Astronauts first found a toilet leak in September, pulling up panels of their SpaceX capsule and finding pools of urine. Because cranky plumbers do not provide 24-hour service in outer space, the SpaceX team resorted to gluing a tube, akin to how your cheap Uncle Mel always fixes his leaky kitchen sink. But, NASA conceded, there was no way such a flimsy repair was the right stuff and all that spilled urine had messed up the whole operation. So, the astronauts were issued official “absorbent undergarments” for the ride home. How pampered.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 2011 that a record number of Americans – 49.1 million – were living under the poverty line. Today, that number is 37 million.

WORD OF THE DAY

Soporific – [sah-puh-RIFF-ik] – adjective

Definition: Causing sleep

Example: My keyboard generates a gentle, soporific cadence as I type this sentence.

WIT OF THE DAY

“To be able to forget means sanity.” 

- Jack London

BIDEN BLURB

“The greatest gift is the ability to forget - to forget the bad things and focus on the good.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Perfect