The Jaffe Briefing - November 10, 2021

STATEWIDE – Little Susie must have a great lobbyist. State lawmakers are now convinced this young entrepreneur can operate her little lemonade stand without getting a municipal permit. A new law gives Little Susie a pass. Previously, she would have to pedal her tricycle to town hall, weaving in and out of traffic. Then, she’d have to find a parking space reserved for three-wheel vehicles, use an app to pay for parking with mommy’s credit card, and navigate a labyrinth of municipal offices to purchase a permit, during business hours, and with all COVID protocols. Paying all the requisite municipal fees would likely require Little Susie to sell 100 cups before she breaks even. Now, finally, there’s no need for that red tape. “Nobody is getting sick because a 6-year-old’s lemonade stand didn’t get a health inspection, and professional vendors aren’t being driven out of business by the $5 a child might collect from supportive neighbors,” Sen. Michael Doherty told NJ 101.5.

POMPTON LAKES – So, you punch a police officer in the face during the Jan. 6 riot, and then you end up raising $30,000 in support? Yes, there are more than 600 people who actually gave money to the Sussex County gym owner getting sentenced today for being one of the first screaming “patriots” to invade the U.S. Capitol and later slug an officer trying to protect this American landmark of democracy. NJ.com reports that prosecutors are rightfully appalled that the gym owner is capitalizing on his treasonous behavior. He created an online fundraiser called the “Patriot Relief Fund” in support of “America loving, America flag waving patriots” to support President Trump and attempt to reverse election results through deadly violence. Lunatic donors refer to him as a “political prisoner,” citing the “injustice” and calling his prosecution “unfathomable.” The gym owner is looking at just 44 months in prison. A downright bargain.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Politicos setting their sights on the next Presidential election are getting an early taste of the Republican primary. With Trump clearly planning a glorious return to the throne – and moderate Republicans praying for a credible candidate who isn’t banned from Twitter – the back-and-forth with his former buddy, former Gov. Chris Christie, is plenty of fun. Christie says he wants to take eyes off the rearview mirror “and start looking through the windshield again.” That prompted some Trump fury, always colorful, in which the former president spouted that “everybody remembers how Chris left New Jersey with a 9% approval rating – a record low.” The rating was actually about 15%, still remarkably low, but Christie’s message about moving beyond the 2020 election “fraud” is not in the Trump playbook, which is likely scrawled in crayon on a McDonald’s napkin.

BRIEFING BREATHER

The chainsaw, the horror-movie murder weapon of choice, was invented for aid in childbirth.

ON THE ROAD – Even New Jersey’s roadways are crawling into the 21st century. No longer will motorists need to fumble around the glove compartment to find their registration, at the request of the local, friendly, always-patient police officer. Under a new state law, motorists can simply present a copy of their registration on a smartphone or tablet. Finally locating a small card amongst piles of tissues you’ve been storing in the car should not be the sole reason you avoid a $150 ticket. The Motor Vehicle Commission has 18 months to figure out how to issue electronic versions of vehicle registrations throughout the state with minimal fraud and always-stellar customer service.

IN THE MEDIA

TRENTON – Assemblyman Roy Freiman should expect a lifetime of positive press, if state lawmakers go with his legislation that would allow taxpayers to deduct $250 from their state taxes if they subscribe to a New Jersey newspaper. Call us enormously biased, but if more New Jerseyans regularly read the paper, the media would have more resources to provide a better product. And that would make the public better informed and end a lot of the nonsense that we report here every day. But Freiman’s bill is going before some lawmakers who deliberately tried to dismantle the newspaper business, calling for the cancellation of a long-standing law that requires the government to buy notices in the classified section. Regardless, getting busy people to subscribe to a newspaper is one thing. Getting them to read it? Another challenge that can’t be legislated.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ST. PETERSBURG, FL. – Lots of controversy among state lawmakers. But not about the pandemic or myriad issues facing the Sunshine State. Rather, the issue of the moment is the state mascot. It’s been the northern mockingbird since 1927, which seemed to work for generations of Floridians. It also is the feathered functionary of four other states. And perhaps that’s why there is a movement taking flight to replace the bird with something that is distinctively Floridian. (Insert snarky comment here.) Since a Republican lawmaker noted it was time to revisit the mascot, four new candidates have emerged: the Florida scrub jay, flamingo, osprey and roseate spoonbill. With all the overbuilding now underway in Florida, we must ask… how about the construction crane?

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1988 that Orel Hershiser (23-8) was the unanimous choice to win the NL Cy Young Award.

WORD OF THE DAY

Truncate – [TRUNG-kayt] – verb

Definition: To shorten by or as if by cutting off

Example: How many political careers were truncated because of last week’s election?

WIT OF THE DAY

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”

-Bill Watterson

BIDEN BLURB

“We hold these truths to be self-evident. All men and women are created, by the, you know, you know the thing.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Sweet