The Jaffe Briefing - November 1, 2021

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – For those ink-stained wretches writing about this governor’s race for months, desperately trying to find something new and relevant, there’s good news: Election Day is tomorrow. And that means this bland story finally ends with a very expected conclusion. Gov. Phil Murphy is now consistently up between nine and 11 points, depending on which college-based poll last week you were intently studying. So, make sure to vote at your local polling place tomorrow from 6 a.m. - 8 p.m. Fun facts: There were 171,070 who already voted over the past few days during early voting, as well as another 451,523 who voted by mail.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – As Jerry Seinfeld famously said, “Who ARE these people??,” New Jersey voters have to wonder about this extra $39 million (and counting) that has been funneling into the gubernatorial campaign over the past weeks and months. Politico reports that all the fuzzy, independent spending is “well into record territory,” with another $4 million filling campaign war chests since last Monday. Expect that mysterious cash to keep coming, with the candidates filing some must-read donor reports with the New Jersey Election Law Enforcement Commission when the dust finally settles. Again, voters must ask: Who ARE these people?? Often, the real election story surfaces months after most people stop paying attention.

STATEWIDE – Congress may be spending plenty of trillions this week, as these on-again, off-again spending bills could be up for votes. NJ.com asks the right question: So, what’s in it for New Jersey? Well, for starters, $12.3 billion for infrastructure, as we finally, finally get that Gateway Tunnel and replace the Portal Bridge. There are lots of other goodies too, especially for middle- and lower-income people not fortunate enough to reap fortunes from fancy stock portfolios. Money is targeted for day care tax credits, flood insurance, grants for higher education, health care subsidies, more tax cuts for low-income workers, child tax credits, universal pre-kindergarten (illogical when you are already subsidizing private childcare), wind power and some decent school lunches for hungry kids. Mostly good stuff here, with a glaring big if: Congress finally has to get on the same page, on something.

BRIEFING BREATHER

The first person convicted of speeding was going 8 mph.

ORANGE – Likened to a saga ripped from a bad Netflix show, NJ.com digs deep into Orange, one of the most corrupt towns in New Jersey. And how corrupt? How about the city’s business administrator hiring a consultant on the taxpayers’ dime to write his doctoral dissertation and then submitting it to Seton Hall University as his own? Yeah, we were talking that egregious. NJ.com offers up a roadmap of cash to cronies through a wide-ranging series of schemes, self-serving bogus contracts and hidden kickbacks – all designed to screw the Orange taxpayer, who faced the largest tax increases in Essex County from 2015-2020. Allow your jaw to drop as you read along.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

THE NOT-SO-GREAT OUTDOORS – While you blaze up and celebrate the legalization of cannabis in places such as New Jersey, you may be unaware that the results could really mess with the family dog. Pet owners are now reporting that their drug-free dachshunds and sober schnauzers are getting high from eating human poop laced with marijuana. As absolutely gross as it sounds, the majority of these cases occur when dogs stumble across human feces discarded on our great natural trails and in parks by hikers and campers, NJ.com reports. The ASPCA says that the signs your dog could be high include depression, loss of coordination, dilated, glassy pupils and maybe some extra slobbering, if that’s possible.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

There were lots of power outages in New Jersey on this day in 2011, after that crazy Halloween nor-easter that we’re still talking about.

WORD OF THE DAY

Doppelgänger – [DAH-pul-gang-er] – noun

Definition: A person who resembles someone else, or a ghostly counterpart of a living person.

Example: One of these kids banging on my door last night to beg for candy looked like my ghostly doppelgänger.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Maybe climate change is not so bad in such a cold country as ours? 2-3 degrees wouldn’t hurt – we’ll spend less on fur coats, and the grain harvest would go up.” 

-Vladimir Putin

BIDEN BLURB

“With regard to the disappointment, the disappointment relates to the fact that … not only Russia but China basically didn’t show up in terms of any commitments to deal with climate change. And there’s a reason why people should be disappointed in that.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Beautiful