The Jaffe Briefing - November 2, 2021
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – It’s Election Day, if you did not know. And Jack Ciattarelli has awoken this morning as the challenger to a strong, well-funded incumbent. But as he perfects his Windsor knot, practices his winning smile and puts on his lucky Election Day suit, Ciattarelli tells himself that he needs to stay positive in what may feel like the longest day of his life. Sure, he’s consistently down in the polls and, sure, there are those million more damn Democrats registered in this state. What’s with these people? But, hey, there’s this mood out there. Can you feel it? Jack can. Lots of people are against Joe Biden and all those do-nothing Democrats. And many more Republicans are engaged; there have been lots of last-minute registrations and people swearing they will vote this time. And Ocean and Monmouth counties are looking pretty red, with plenty of in-person voting. And those right-leaning polls show things are a lot narrower than whatever Rutgers-Eagleton is saying. So, maybe. Just maybe…
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Yep, it’s Election Day, and Gov. Phil Murphy is feeling the stress. His opponent was a lot scrappier than he thought, with all those TVs ads telling voters that if taxes are their issue, New Jersey is not their state. Boy, Murphy hates those ads! Over and over; all the time since the summer. Jeez. But enough of that. Murphy is ready to make history, the first Democrat who stands to be re-elected as governor since Brendan Byrne in the 1970s. And making history by facing the strongest gubernatorial challenger since 2009. But the governor is ready, he tells himself. A couple of quick campaign stops today in Cherry Hill and Newark, hopefully some nice media coverage, and then the black SUV zips to Asbury Park to watch the statewide results among friends and hangers-on. Will Murphy make history or be Wikipedia’s official choke of the century? Sometimes, depending on the fickle people of New Jersey, it can be downright scary.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – If you tracked the governor around New Jersey over the past couple of weeks, you’d think that out-of-state cash is raining from the sky and investors are desperate to throw more and more money at the greatest place on the god-darn Earth. There have been plenty of well-timed groundbreakings, Politico notes, with Murphy shoveling ceremonial dirt at a $250 million wind port, a $283 million high school in Perth Amboy, a $300 million tech village in Jersey City, among many, many other huge investments in New Jersey, now brimming with billions in surplus. And not only do investors love New Jersey, so do national politicians. People like Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Barack Obama and others kneel before the throne of Murphy in shear awe, yearning to breathe the New Jersey air, sip our delicious Kool-Aid and celebrate the billions of other dollars in additional state and federal funding piped into the Garden State, for everything from childcare programs to transportation grants. Our roads are truly paved with gold, perhaps even the Rutgers football team is heading to the Rose Bowl. Why? Because of Murphy, according to a Murphy press release. And it all points to one, painfully obvious, forgone conclusion: Four more years at Drumthwacket.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Black pepper was once used to pay rent and taxes.
TRENTON – No matter what happens in today’s election, there’s actual state business that finally needs to be addressed on Thursday. Really. It’s true! Legislation has been steadily piling up on the governor’s desk. That’s because things at the Statehouse have been church mouse quiet for months, as all 120 seats in the Legislature have been up for grabs, requiring plenty of local campaigning in their actual districts. New Jersey Monitor says there is an exciting flurry of bill signings and vetoes expected from Murphy by noon on Thursday, based on dusty bills sent in June that have gotten very little attention. So, there may be new laws about police body cameras, lead plumbing and 44 or so other bills containing important stuff. It’s all great news – writing about actual governing, rather than fake, election-driven puffery. Bring it on!
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
WEST PEORIA, Ill. – Elvis had left the building. And now the King has returned. An Elvis Presley bust was swiped from a local drinking hole somewhere in central Illinois, prompting international attention. Employees at Jimmy’s Bar found the missing bust Thursday night sitting on a porch outside the West Peoria saloon, the Peoria Journal Star reports, after it vanished four days earlier. On Wednesday, the bar’s Facebook page had made an appeal for its return: “No questions asked.” Now, the bust – bought for $20 at a garage sale – is perched back in its familiar place on the bar for all to honor. At least for the moment.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
New Jersey made history on this day in 1993, electing its very first female governor, Christie Whitman.
WORD OF THE DAY
Cozen – [KUZ-un] – verb
Definition: To deceive, win over, or influence with pleasing words or actions or by trickery
Example: The persistent gubernatorial candidate finally managed to cozen my vote.
WIT OF THE DAY
“Our form of democracy is bribery on the largest scale.”
-Gore Vidal
BIDEN BLURB
“Corruption is a cancer: a cancer that eats away at a citizen's faith in democracy, diminishes the instinct for innovation and creativity; already-tight national budgets, crowding out important national investments. It wastes the talent of entire generations. It scares away investments and jobs.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Brisk