The Jaffe Briefing - September 30, 2021

TRENTON – First the bad news: a conservative think tank says New Jersey would need nearly $185 billion to meet its long-term financial obligations – working out to $58,300 for every living, breathing taxpayer. And the good news? Connecticut is ranked worse than us – taking over the dead-last position among all states. Ha! Take that! The think tank, called “Truth in Accounting,” tells NJ 101.5 that New Jersey didn’t get any better with its long-term debt. It’s just that Connecticut got so much worse. New Jersey has $31.7 billion in available assets – that’s great. Yet we somehow owe $216.9 billion, give or take a billion.

MONTCLAIR – In the battle of town v. gown, give this round to the town. Montclair State University has been battling with the City of Clifton for 16 long years regarding its controversial plan to turn Yogi Berra Drive, its steep entrance, into a two-way road. MSU said it needed the road to be two lanes to handle all its growth, while Clifton argued it would be a downhill danger with cars slipping out onto Valley Road, motorists meeting their demise. The New Jersey Supreme Court intervened on Monday, siding with Clifton. Unless MSU wants to take the matter to the U.S. Supreme Court – which seems doubtful and a little absurd – score this one for the town.

STATEWIDE – Could New Jersey’s insane housing market finally see some slowing? The latest data from August shows that buyers are starting to show some actual restraint from the height of the pandemic, rather than just zipping through leafy suburbs and throwing millions of dollars at freshly-painted shotgun shacks. It seems the more rural and remote areas are taking the biggest hit for single-family homes, with Cape May down 48%, Atlantic County down 30% and Sussex County down 23% during this blip in time, compared to August 2020. NJ.com reports some counties also remained solid in their pricing: Camden, Hunterdon, Bergen, Gloucester, Somerset and Passaic. Meanwhile, sellers are still getting 103% of their asking price. Translation: still bring that checkbook.

BRIEFING BREATHER

If you passed gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, that’s enough energy for an atomic bomb. 

MILLBURN – No bus, no problem. At least that’s the thinking of school officials here, who are eager to reimburse some parents so the district no longer has to provide transportation for middle and high school students who live close to school. NJ.com reports that about 140 students are being bounced from the program, with the district handing back $775 per kid for middle schoolers living within a mile of school and high schoolers who are less than 1.5 miles from Millburn High. While the program would cost $108,000 for the district, it gets to eliminate three routes, while the kiddies get some forced exercise. And with this chronic bus shortage, that seems the best deal all around.

TOMS RIVER – The school district had an optional mask policy, which effectively meant no mask for any kid given a choice. And now – to no great surprise to anyone dealing in public health – the school district has 250 cases of COVID, while 900 students and staff members were listed under quarantine yesterday. Toms River school officials say they were lax with the masks because of the excessive heat, before requiring them by Sept. 20. The district is taking this all very seriously, while its story serves as a wake-up call for other districts where school officials are pressured to waver on the masks.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

COPENHAGEN, Denmark - The paintings were called “Take the Money and Run.” And it was the ideal name as an artist submitted two empty canvasses and then grabbed about $84,000 in fees from a Danish museum. The Kunsten Museum of Modern Art in Aalborg hired the artist to recreate two of his earlier pieces, featuring bank notes attached to a canvas representing the average annual wage in Denmark and Austria. But when museum officials received the completed artworks, they were blank. “The artwork is that I have taken the money,” the artist explained to a local radio host. And he offers another wacky explanation: “It’s not theft, it is a breach of contract, and the breach of contract is part of the work.” The artist is available to other museums who want to hire him to do nothing. But it will cost dearly.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1997 that Hooters agreed to pay $2 million in sexual discrimination lawsuits. Hmm; wonder why.

WORD OF THE DAY

Liminal – [LIM-uh-nul] – adjective

Definition: Barely perceptible or that involves a transitional or in-between state.

Example: Scientists will one day study the vast, but liminal power, of my brain.

WIT OF THE DAY

“New Rule: Instead of killing 99.9 percent of germs, Lysol has to just go ahead and kill them all. Why spare the remaining 0.1 percent? So they can return to their villages and tell the other germs, 'Dude, do not mess with Lysol'?” 

― Bill Maher

BIDEN BLURB

“I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now.… When one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That's me.”

– Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Blissful