The Jaffe Briefing - October 4, 2021

STATEWIDE – A new state law is a big lesson in reality. The plain fact is that school districts can’t find enough qualified teachers, and something needs to give if we are going to find trained adults to work in classrooms. And that’s why Gov. Phil Murphy is easing some of the requirements to become a Garden State teacher through a law that establishes “flexibility” in teachers’ GPA, Praxis test results and subject matter credit requirements for 10% of staff, NJ 101.5 reports. Of course, we can yell and scream that our little cherubs will not be getting the same quality education that they deserve and taxpayers fund. Fine. So do you want to pass all those requirements and then spend the next 30 years dealing with kids for a living? Didn’t think so.

TRENTON – New Jersey: Home to deadbeats? Well, there are some, NJ.com reports. The state Department of Consumer Affairs does a great job chasing down bad business owners, who make a living out of screwing others. Over 10 years, there’s been $260 million raked in from more than 2,300 cases. But there are some business owners out there who simply refuse to pay up. We’re talking more than $75 million, with the biggest loser (or winner) being a chimney company, which owes $15.5 million. There’s also a whole bunch of home renovation companies, stiffing people for millions and millions. When will they pay up? If they have no assets, then the quick answer is this: Never.

STATEWIDE – Maybe you won’t have put up with Aunt Selma this holiday season. Yep, the feds suggest we avoid each other again this Thanksgiving, meaning your extended relatives can stay, well, safely extended elsewhere. Whether family members are vaccinated or not, the CDC warns that holiday dinners could be super-spreaders and suggests that perhaps a few Zoom calls could suffice for spreading holiday cheer, once more. Travel is also not recommended, unless it is “absolutely necessary” to visit Aunt Selma and her strange-looking pet reindeer.

BRIEFING BREATHER

If you yelled for eight years, seven months, and six days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat a cup of coffee.

STATEWIDE – And, there’s more end-of-the-year holiday news as October barely begins, congrats to Kohl’s. In the race of mega-retailers to get us into that spending kind of mood as the leaves barely turn, Kohl’s has reached the same level of Walmart, Macy’s and Amazon, all of which have already announced the “must-have” toys for the holidays. So, as Kohl’s now plays with the big boys, here are some toys the company is suggesting you buy now, and not wait another possible second. Some include, in no particular order: the Barbie Dreamhouse Playset, the Mr. Potato Head Super Spud and – a little retro, here – Lincoln Logs.

NEW BRUNSWICK – Smartphones are, well, smart. But can they tell if you are stoned? Apparently so, Rutgers researchers say. To figure out if someone took a trip to the bong, you just need to peruse their smartphone, which has a GPS and other sensors showing they moved slower, travelled less distance and lost some coordination. Another key indicator: Domino’s was the last three phone calls. A journal, Drug and Alcohol Dependence, reports this information is actually valuable to authorities, especially if they are building a case of someone stoned while driving or just generally acting stupid.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It wasn’t the prettiest, but it was ours, as New Jersey celebrates the opening of the Brendan Byrne Arena on this day in 1981.

WORD OF THE DAY

Weltanschauung – [veltahnshouoong] – noun

Definition: A comprehensive conception or image of the universe and of humanity's relation to it.

Example: My good friend Sherlock looks at every criminal case by not only by applying his scientific principles but also by seeing the case through the unique perspective of his weltanschauung. 

WIT OF THE DAY

“California is full of homesick people.”

-Judy Van Der Veer

BIDEN BLURB

“The eyes of the nation are on California.”

– Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Blech