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The Jaffe Briefing - September 29, 2021

Happy National Coffee Day!

NEWARK – There was some good bare-knuckle brawling in last night’s gubernatorial debate; the accusations flying. The GOP challenger, Jack Ciatarrelli, claimed Gov. Phil Murphy delayed declaring a state of emergency for Hurricane Ida, and then 30 New Jerseyans died. “If ever we needed a ‘get the hell off the beach’ moment, this was it,” Ciattarelli declared. Murphy then slammed Ciattarelli for attending a “Stop the Steal” rally in support of former President Donald Trump. “Come on, man. Your picture and name were on the invitation. There is video. There were confederate flags,” the governor said, adding it was “the exact same cocktail” as the Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection, saying that “people died.” Ciattarelli’s response: “You mean like the people in the nursing homes and Tropical Storm Ida?” It was an entertaining hour of jabs, and yet another gubernatorial debate missing the big, nagging issues that New Jerseyans really care about, as is tradition.

PRINCETON – In likely the smartest move of her professional career, a Princeton principal now has second thoughts about her efforts to kill the elementary school’s Halloween and Valentine’s Day celebrations. It took only three days of outrage from parents and the entire leafy community before this new principal at Riverside Elementary School got the message. Planet Princetonian reports the principal initially decided to be more inclusive by ending the much-loved Halloween parade, which, she contends, forces some kids out because of religious or cultural reasons. And she wanted to replace the Valentine’s Day celebration with something called “Upstander Day,” highlighting “normative culture,” celebrating codes of respect, safety, etc. How fun. After the immediate backlash, the new principal backpedaled with a letter calling for “a more profound discussion.” Welcome to Princeton.

BRIEFING BREATHER

If you sneeze while driving at 60 mph, your eyes are closed for an average of 50 feet.

RIDGEWOOD – The lack of workers has reached a whole new level, with the local police forced to retain a national search firm. And why? To find crossing guards to fill its quota. It remains unclear to see who from, say, Amish country, will pack their buggy and move to Ridgewood to help the kiddies cross the street. But police say they have to take these draconian measures to get more people interested in working. The Ridgewood P.D. is dangling a lot of carrots, offering $36 for two hours of work per day, the Record reports. The department has no real choice here, as police officers are getting pulled off patrols just to fill the gaps. Learn more by calling the staffing firm, based somewhere in Pennsylvania, at 610-504-8764. 

IN THE MEDIA

STATEWIDE – Gannett appears to be playing hardball against the scrappy labor unions at its newspapers in New Jersey. Axios reports the union is now filing charges of unfair labor practices, claiming that Gannett management is messing with pay increases, 401(k) matches and diversity initiatives. A Bergen Record photographer claims her editor refused raises because of the union, a claim she calls a scare tactic and “obviously a lie.” Meanwhile, a longtime Asbury Park Press reporter says she’s been “gaslit” because of her union membership. Whatever is happening here, it’s bringing staff closer together and farther from management, to the detriment of Gannett.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

MELROSE, Mass. – One house on the market is hot. Real hot. In fact, it is so hot that it caught on fire in August, yet is still somehow being listed for $400,000. WBZ-TV reports that the listing for the home in Melrose, a suburb of Boston, is evidence of how crazy the housing market has become. You can own this charred beauty, featuring three bedrooms, 1,857 square feet of space and that fresh burned smell. The listing states: “House is in need of a complete renovation or potential tear down and rebuild. Buyer to do due diligence. House being sold as is.” That includes the preliminary work of the fire department, hacking away at the walls and ceilings to reach the flames. There are no windows, of course, as the intense heat blew them off the front of the house. But nothing that a fun trip to Pottery Barn can’t fix.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1989 that Zsa Zsa Gabor is convicted of slapping a police officer in Beverly Hills. No death penalty required.

WORD OF THE DAY

Parlay – [PAHR-lay] – verb

Definition: To turn (something) into something of greater value."

Example: The quarterback parlayed his fame as a pitchman for pretty much anything.

WIT OF THE DAY

“There is no spectacle on earth more appealing than that of a beautiful woman in the act of cooking dinner for someone she loves.”

-Tom Wolfe

BIDEN BLURB

“I cannot believe that a French man visiting Kiev went back home and told his colleagues he discovered something and didn’t say he discovered the most beautiful women in the world. That’s my observation.”

– Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Pleasant