The Jaffe Briefing - September 28, 2021
TRENTON – Rather than giving unemployed people more money not to work, the state has concocted a new strategy: paying employers to hire the people they would’ve likely done on their own. At a time when employers are begging to find employees, they will now be handed up to a $10,000 incentive to hire these workers, if they can find them as part of their ongoing, desperate search. The program is capped at $10,000 per each employee hired, for a total of $40,000 for each employer, a terrific gift. This “Return and Earn” program does actually have an effective component, giving a $500 incentive to any person who decides to finally return to the work world, following all the pandemic subsidies he or she received while sitting home. Luckily this big give-away comes from federal aid, rather than the state budget, and is initially capped at $10 million.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Sure, there’s lots of great stuff to stream tonight on Hulu, Apple, Netflix, whatever. But there’s also another show on ABC, beginning at 7 p.m., that is a limited, one-time release. Yep, we are talking about the gubernatorial debate, and it may be worth finding Channel 7 to watch Gov. Phil Murphy and his challenger, Jack Ciattarelli, perform. Rarely does a debate change the hearts of Democrats or Republicans, but there are some Independents eager to see if Ciattarelli can close the governor’s double-digit lead in the polls. Hey, it’s only an hour of your time, and since both candidates have received millions of dollars in state matching funds to mischaracterize each other, it might be good to see how your money is being spent.
COLONIA – A rare news story from the greatest school in the land – Lynn Crest Elementary – where a teacher was busted for forging an official doctor’s letter to avoid the mask mandate. The 53-year-old phys ed teacher may now be hanging up her Hula Hoop, after cops arrested her for the letter, dated Sept. 8, charging her with fourth-degree uttering and falsifying medical records. School officials saw straight through this suspected little scam, and passed “Exhibit A” on to the authorities. Cops came swarming to cuff the gym teacher on Sept. 23, creating more drama than sudden death in the afternoon kickball game. Meanwhile, NJ.com notes the teacher’s employment status is unclear, as school officials remain tightlipped about staff silliness.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Four out of five children recognize the McDonald’s logo at three years old.
DEAL – There’s another win for the billionaires of Deal, as the feds announce that millions of taxpayer dollars will be used to pump sand on “their” beach. Most people in Deal have no idea – or simply don’t care – that their glorious beaches are for public access, not just their personal view from the expansive veranda. The feds are kicking in $17 million of the $26 million earmarked for Deal, as well as Loch Arbour and Allenhurst. Deal is famously known for keeping out the riff-raff, making it near-impossible for beachgoers to find parking anywhere near a so-called public beach. The federal plan puts 100,000 dump trucks worth of sand on the Deal beaches, meaning more beach, and more opportunity for anyone, at all, to enjoy this rich enclave, the AP reports. Since we are in a construction mode, how about Deal adds a snack bar and decent bathrooms for the sweaty, soon-to-arrive masses?
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
ONLINE – Facebook had been hyping the development of its “Instagram Kids,” a version of the platform for pre-teens geared to save them from many of the horrors of this app. Great, except the real problem is for all those insecure kids 13 and over, victims of the wide world of targeted ads, internet trolls and the local bullies. Facebook’s internal research already shows that Instagram makes body image issues worse for one in three teen girls, and called Instagram “toxic.” Anyway, the very latest: Facebook wants more time to figure out “Instagram Kids” under 13. That’s fine; this proposed fix was missing the mark anyway. Ask anyone sitting at a vicious middle school lunch table, or learns through Instagram that he/she just lost another “friend.” Our take: Block Instagram for anyone under 18, allowing them a fighting chance for a healthy childhood.
LYON, FRANCE – It seemed overly easy for a guy with scrambled brains to throw an egg at the French president during a food fair. And then, it was not overly hard for bodyguards to haul the guy away, after he pelted French President Emmanuel Macron on the shoulder Monday. The egg didn’t break, perhaps it was hard boiled. The 19-year-old suspect – clearly cracked – is charged with “assault on a person in a position of public authority” and was hauled to jail, where Eggs Benedict is not likely served.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1995 that singer Bobby Brown was injured in a gun battle… Classy.
WORD OF THE DAY
Misbegotten – [miss-bih-GAH-tun] – adjective
Definition: Ill-conceived or having an improper origin
Example: After a couple of cold ones with the blokes, expect me to dash off a misbegotten tweet.
WIT OF THE DAY
“Beer has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat-anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship. To sink a few cold ones with the blokes is both an escape and a confirmation of belonging.”
-Rennie Ellis
BIDEN BLURB
“May the hinges of our friendship never go rusty. Well, with these two folks that you’re about to meet if you haven’t already, there’s no doubt about them staying oiled and lubricated here, ladies and gentlemen. Now for you who are not full Irish in this room, lubricated has a different meaning for us all.”
– Joe Biden, at reception for Irish Taoiseach (Prime Minister) Enda Kenny in 2012.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Umbrella