The Jaffe Briefing - August 27, 2021

** The Jaffe Briefing is heading down the shore, returning Monday, Sept. 13 **

EAST RUTHERFORD – Since Giants Stadium opened in 1976 – with the Giants promptly losing to the Cowboys in front of 76,042 fans – Meadowlands traffic has been a nightmare. And the area has only become more and more congested, now featuring a mega, mega mall. It looks like, finally, NJ Transit is getting serious about creating some reliable mass transit to the area. It all begins with a $3.5 million study to create the correct transit system. This process even has a clever name – Transitway – so you know NJ Transit is super-serious, this time. Perhaps there will even be a cool logo and hashtag, as well as signage to impress the tailgaters. All good, until the fans once again attempt to return to Route 3 after the latest Cowboys loss. Are we skeptical of Transitway? About as skeptical as we were with the decision to tag Daniel Jones as the franchise QB. Please, please prove us wrong.

TRENTON – State workers will be forced to ditch the sweatpants and slippers on Oct. 18, as Gov. Phil Murphy is ordering them all to show up, again, live, on time, at their actual state-issued desks. Yes, all those dusty office calendars are still firmly stuck at March 2020 and whatever is remaining in the coffee pot has grown arms and legs and has recently learned how to fax. Workers were originally slated to reappear on Sept. 7. But because they have to be vaccinated or face weekly testing, the governor extended the deadline to October, giving workers a few more weeks to find matching socks and shoes with actual laces.

TRENTON – It’s unclear why anyone would be a landlord these days. Besides those darn washing machines that seem to perennially leak, it also seems impossible to evict tenants who refuse to pay the rent. Yes, it all sounds heartless during this lingering pandemic. The state is launching anti-eviction initiatives beginning next week in Atlantic City, East Orange, and Trenton, providing low-income tenants facing eviction with lawyers and a social safety net, New Jersey Monitor reports. Since the start of the pandemic, the state has set up programs intended to help tenants who claim they cannot pay rent, providing aid to 15,000 families, so far.  Good news for some of these landlords, on the hook for maintenance, taxes, mortgages, etc. Yet landlords, often disregarded as cold, money-grubbing tyrants, are also victims in this no-win quandary.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

TOMS RIVER – Buying a bunch of high-tech voting machines is Ocean County’s latest partisan kerfuffle. The Asbury Park Press says Republican county commissioners are at odds with local Democrats who keep squabbling over the big purchase. Two sides are bickering about the best brand-name voting booths to buy; the most useful features of each; and, oh yeah, over some unproven accusations about pay-to-play driving this $2.75 million deal. Commissioners say they just want to comply with the state’s new in-person early-voting law, taking effect for the first time in October. They only need enough new machines for 10 regional early-voting sites across Ocean County. Voters probably couldn’t give a hoot who makes these machines. But, there’s really no need to buy a BMW if a Yugo will get you there, eventually.

WESTFIELD – ROI-NJ ponders what’s the more interesting angle about Boxcar to Go. Is it the fact the company will open a concierge service kiosk at the Westfield train station where commuters can get coffee, drop off their dry cleaning, get their car detailed, order flowers and more? Or that the company is willing to pay $28 an hour (plus tips) to work the four-hour morning shift? Or the fact there’s only been one applicant in the first 48 hours it was posted? Whatever the case, it’s great that something is finally coming into this historical kiosk, falling apart and shuttered for years. Westfield spruced it up and found this company to operate it. Now, if they can only find someone reliable to staff it.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

SOUTH WILLIAMSPORT, PA. – The fast-falling Mets need a pitcher. And quick. Luckily, there’s 12-year-old Gavin Weir, currently the hottest pitcher in the nation. He is the ace of South Dakota's Sioux Falls team, throwing four no-hitters, to date, as he chases Little League World Series glory. His latest masterpiece was Wednesday night, striking out 14 hitters, allowing zero hits and zero runs, against some of the best pre-teen athletes in the nation. So far, Weir has only given up one hit and six walks against 132 batters. The Mets host the Nationals tonight. Plenty of time to get this kid to Queens.

(Here’s a great paragraph about the Mets, courtesy of sportswriter Bradley Kopfer)

“The Giants were trying to out-Met the Mets, a task that requires tripping on your shoelace, smashing your head into the ground and losing a tooth, then tying your shoelace while accidentally standing on your other shoe’s shoelace, thus tripping on that shoelace when you stand up, and digging your lost tooth into your forehead as you fall to the ground a second time.”

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was the night in 1965 that the Beatles hang out with Elvis Presley, with obvious questions about those blue suede shoes.

WORD OF THE DAY

Amenable – [uh-MEE-nuh-bul] – adjective

Definition: Willing to agree to or accept something that is wanted or asked for

Example: Another margarita at the Tiki bar? I’m an amenable tourist.

WIT OF THE DAY

“I’ve forgotten more than you’ll ever know."

-Bob Dylan

BIDEN BLURB

“The greatest gift is the ability to forget - to forget the bad things and focus on the good.”

-Joe Biden 

WEATHER IN A WORD

Blistering