The Jaffe Briefing - July 30, 2021
WESTFIELD – Is a local story about federally-funded tote bags really statewide news? Yes, if it happens to be in New Jersey Globe, reporting about scandal in leafy Westfield. The town used some of its federal CARES Act money to buy 2,000 tote bags last year, hoping to spread holiday cheer and attract downtown shoppers. But – gasp! – the tote bags were never handed out! In fact – hold onto your hats – the bags still sit in their original boxes at the Department of Public Works. These bags cost $8,000 of hard-earned, taxpayer money and were supposed to be distributed for the 2020 holiday season. So, what gives? New Jersey Globe looked to Bob Zuckerman, executive director of the Downtown Westfield Corporation, to explain ToteGate. His response: “The canvas bags were never intended to be fully distributed during last year’s holiday season. We will continue to distribute them throughout the year including at special events such as Girl’s Night Out, Sweet Sounds Downtown and during this year’s holiday season.” OK, we guess. But the media is watching.
TRENTON – You can bet one grandma won’t vote for Council President Kathy McBride, calling her a “miserable ass” and alleging McBride called the cops on her 5-year-old grandson’s birthday party. McBride denied calling the police, the Trentonian reports. But grandma says the council president lives right across the street from Laurel Avenue Park, where the party was occurring Monday. Grandma was told by cops that, because she didn't have a permit and insurance to operate a bouncy house and water slide for the kiddies at the municipal-owned park, she'd be looking squarely at a fine if she did not shut things down, the newspaper reports. Grandma, who claims she overheard a conversation implicating McBride, directed a profanity-laced Facebook Live tirade against her, claiming the council president orchestrated the crackdown. No birthday cake for Kathy.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Bees can detect bombs.
STATEWIDE – We are all about writing happy news here, but the current rise in COVID rates in New Jersey can’t be ignored. Trust us, we tried. But the infection rates are creeping up again, with the state reporting 1,017 new cases yesterday, the most since May 1. Hospitalizations are up, too, a 56 percent jump from where they stood at the start of the month. There’s talk again about mandatory masks. So, if you see someone proudly chest-thumping about how they continually refuse the vaccine for their “personal freedoms” or whatever, feel free to smack them in the head. People are opting to get themselves and others sick, rather than embrace this proven solution, which is unforgivable.
IN THE MEDIA
STATEWIDE – Journalism should not be a contact sport, and reporters should not feel threatened to ask their pesky, ill-informed questions. That’s why Sen. Bob Menendez and other bigwigs are calling for new legislation to make it a federal crime for any attack or threat on a journalist just trying to do his/her job. “The increasing threats and acts of violence against journalists are deeply alarming, and they need greater protection in order to do their jobs safely,” Menendez said. It is called “The Journalist Protection Act,” and let’s just assume it was first concocted during the Trump Administration, when reporters were regularly demonized for attempting to clarify the nonsense.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
LONDON – A man-made hill beside one of the city’s busiest intersections is not exciting. That’s the feedback from yawning tourists, who just don’t seem that titillated with the new Marble Arch Mound. So, how pathetic is this 80-foot hill that promises “a new and meaningful experience that captures the imagination of residents, businesses and visitors”? Tourists slammed the $2.7 million dirt pile throughout social media, likening it to an unfinished construction site, rather than the lush hill that is supposed to be offering glorious panoramic views of Hyde Park, Oxford Street and other parts of the bustling shopping district. There’s also no sign of the promised gift shop, or the promised café or the promised exhibition space. Because of all of these factors, disappointed visitors are being offered refunds for a mound that has clearly fallen flat.
ONTARIO – Canada's housing market is hot right now. But how hot? In Ontario, a 19-acre lot right near Lake Erie is being listed for just over $80,000, which certainly seems like a steal. Alas, there’s a catch. The property happens to be completely underwater, but the Realtor is gushing about “endless possibilities in the future. Be creative.” It’s unclear what the heck those possibilities could be, unless you happen to be AquaMan.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1990 that Major League Baseball cracked down on George Steinbrenner, forcing him to resign as principal partner of the Yankees. Steinbrenner secretly paid a Bronx gambler $40,000 for helping the Yankee owner's renegade investigation of Dave Winfield.
WORD OF THE DAY
Palaver – [puh-LAV-er] – noun
Definition: Misleading or beguiling speech
Example: Enough of this palaver. We have a lot to talk about here.
WIT OF THE DAY
“I exaggerate everything, that is where I go wrong.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky
BIDEN BLURB
“I exaggerate when I'm angry, but I've never gone around telling people things that aren't true about me.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
A+