The Jaffe Briefing - August 2, 2021
RIDGEWOOD – Plenty of drama surrounds this village’s new parking garage. Yes, seriously, the Record reports. The first issue: no one can find the Hudson Street garage, despite the fact the four-story, 240-space structure is one of the tallest in the downtown. The $12 million structure is tucked behind retail buildings on East Ridgewood Avenue and could really use some customers. And that contributes to the second issue: kids who are climbing to the top and then pelting shoppers and diners with doughnuts, candy, water, avocados and — get this — metal iced tea cans. Cops are now adding cameras and police patrols to shoo away bored teens. And village officials are considering more signage and flashing lights, to hopefully attract some cars.
TOMS RIVER – People with awesome pools and eager for extra cash, are turning to Swimply, an online site that connects swimmers with short-term pool rentals. The Asbury Park Press likens Swimply to an Airbnb, of sorts. And this being New Jersey, there is controversy, of course. Toms River says these private pool rentals violate the law, cracking down on 11 local pool entrepreneurs who rented out their backyards. Brick, Jackson and Lakewood are also among Shore towns that have Swimply on the radar. It’s unclear how this all rises to the attention of municipal officials, as these transactions are between private individuals regarding private property. As long as noise ordinances, parking regulations and other anti-nuisance laws are followed, does this all really, really matter?
AVALON – Shore kids are out of control this summer. Perhaps it was the months cooped inside their homes during the pandemic, or maybe because state laws have prevented police from dealing with juveniles, but Jersey Shore leaders and business owners are fed up. Avalon is now closing its beaches at 9 p.m. and the boardwalk at 11 p.m. to control unruly teens. Town leaders say fence posts were pulled out and stacked, as if to be set on fire, trash cans were overturned on the beach and windows smashed on borough vehicles, NJ 101.5 reports. Other towns reported their own craziness, like Margate’s “Club Wa” in the parking lot of the local Wawa, filled with annoying gaggles of pre- pubescents. Cops are now blocking access at certain intersections, so gangs of teens won’t trash the Margate beaches late at night. One Ocean City boardwalk employee went to Facebook to complain, saying “the amount of kids stealing, getting in fights, terrorizing stores with their outrageous behavior is wild.” Seems the ideal summer for a staycation.
BRIEFING BREATHER
McDonald’s once made bubble gum-flavored broccoli.
BRIGANTINE – Restaurant customers are also out of control this summer, yelling at staff, sending back perfectly-good meals and ripping restaurants on social media for ignoring reservations. We’ve all seen it; we’ve all experienced it and perhaps once or twice, we have been culprits of it. NJ.com spoke with a bunch of besieged restaurant owners, who are well aware that wait times have been longer, popular dishes are sometimes sold out and the lackluster dining experience has not exactly meshed with the final bill, with all its “new and improved” pricing. But we all need to calm the heck down, as restaurants are desperate for staff and we all can’t chase away the one 15-year-old kid willing to shovel ice cream on a Saturday night. So smile. And say, “thank you,” even if the server forgets to refresh your coffee. Again.
WARREN COUNTY – You like it in western Jersey? That’s good, because Warren County is the only place in New Jersey where there is only a “moderate” risk of COVID contamination. The CDC has a map updated daily, showing the level of community transmission. The rest of the state has “substantial” numbers except for Monmouth County, now in deep red for its “high” level of transmission. You want “low” risk? Then head all the way west to Montour County, Pa., wherever that is.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
BARCELONA – How can I manufacture your steak? Medium-rare? There may soon be a whole new way of serving up your favorite meat, as demands for plant-based alternatives continue to rise. A startup called “Novameat” is using a 3D printer to manufacture vegetarian “steaks,” to be served up directly to restaurants and their customers. "It didn't have the feeling of a traditional steak, but I was positively surprised because I did not expect that the texture would be so well achieved," one diner said. This 3D technology can manufacture up to 17,637 ounces of fake meat an hour, as it could ultimately replace animal meat as demand increases. Cows applaud the innovation.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
In what may be one of the greatest no-brainers in history, “Terrific” Tom Seaver enters the Baseball Hall of Fame on this day in 1992.
WORD OF THE DAY
Pulchritude – [PUHL-kruh-tood] – noun
Definition: Physical comeliness
Example: I am often recognized at Club Wa for my stardom and pulchritude.
WIT OF THE DAY
“The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.”
-Phyllis Diller
BIDEN BLURB
“When my first semester grades came out, my mom and dad told me I wouldn't be playing football.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Perfect