The Jaffe Briefing - May 21, 2021
** The Jaffe Briefing is off to celebrate the start of summer on Monday, May 24, returning Monday, June 7 **
TRENTON – Surprise! When the Senate Budget Committee met yesterday, it picked up a relevant nugget of news: The feds dropped $6.2 billion in the state treasury the day prior. But no one from the governor’s office mentioned that fact to state lawmakers. GOP members smelled blood and instantly pounced. State Sen. Declan O’Scanlon’s said: “People in this state need relief now! Since (Gov. Phil Murphy) has shared his plan for the money, I worry that he has another secret plan to waste the money like he did last time and just doesn’t want public scrutiny of it.” The state treasurer said that, no, the governor isn’t trying to hide the money and there must be negotiations with the state Legislature on how best to spend it. Currently, Murphy has sole authority on how to spend these billions in emergency aid, which seems like a lot of power on one person, who just happens to be seeking re-election.
HADDONFIELD – Some public libraries enjoy offering drag queens for interesting read-alongs, and that’s sure to tick off some people. And now Haddonfield is the latest to ruffle feathers, NJ 101.5 reports, as it plans a drag queen story session, remotely, to raise money for the library. "Philadelphia's Miss Brittany Lynn will read stories for children of all ages about love, diversity and acceptance," according to the event listing, coinciding nicely with LGBTQ Pride Month next month. Now, the library needs to clarify – sigh, no – that it is not trying to expose kids to sex at an early age. As you may recall, this same story played out in Warren County two years ago when the library cancelled a highly-anticipated, in-person appearance by “Harmonica Sunbeam,” as part of Drag Queen Story Hour. Our take: if a drag queen can actually encourage people to open a book, have at it.
GLASSBORO – Among the many exciting incentives being offered to be vaccinated - from free wine and beer to free tickets to state parks - the most generous one is being offered to students at Rowan University. Get this: If students act before Aug. 7 and get the damn shot, the school will knock $1,000 off costs for this fall. That’s a big deal, as broke college students will do pretty much any job for $20 or so. Full-time students get $500 off tuition and, if they live on campus, another $500 break for housing. That’s a nice savings – Mom and Dad – on total costs of about $33,000. And if students don’t get vaccinated, they will be forced to do weekly tests if they live on campus. So, there’s lots of carrot here.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Many oranges are actually green.
MONMOUTH BEACH – Rotting fish no more? After two months of dead fish rotting on the shores of the Shrewsbury River, the borough is contracting with Ken’s Marine to clear it up. Work began yesterday – to the relief of residents – and likely will be one of the most unpleasant jobs in borough history. The fish pick-up will continue for several days, as Memorial Day weekend quickly approaches. Workers will be scooping up decaying fish carcasses in public areas, as well as doing a nice service to residents, who certainly won’t mind allowing access to their waterfront properties. Borough officials say they won’t be able to get every bellied-up fish carcass, but expect a “vast improvement.” Fish continue to die through a “vibrio bacteria infection,” attacks a fish’s organs and disorients it, causing it to swim in circles. So, this clean-up is not the ideal solution, but a great start.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
QUEENSLANDS, AUSTRALIA – The state is desperate for employees to serve tourists. How desperate? It is now attempting to lure workers by offering them $1,000 in cold, hard cash to move to Queensland and take a job doing pretty much anything. There is even a catchy slogan: “Work in Paradise,” in which prospective employees get the cash, as well as a $195 travel voucher and access to super-cheap, subsidized housing. All you need to do is convince the government that whatever job you take will somehow serve tourists. And you need to arrive by July 1. “From chefs, waiters and bartenders through to tour guides and deckhands on the Great Barrier Reef, there are plenty of great opportunities up for grabs,” a state official says. So, please come?
WASHINGTON – Yet more fallout from the Americans who attacked the U.S. Capitol on January 6. Now, taxpayers may be forced to spend nearly $2 billion to fortify this hallmark to democracy, so its citizens don’t attack it again. Sigh. In another era, people would have been drawn and quartered for such a treasonous stunt. But, in 2021, the solution is just to spend more money. And so we all will open our checkbooks for retractable fencing and a quick-response force, the House proposes, as the measure now goes before the evenly-divided Senate. Republicans claim the security money would be best spent to safeguard our borders, not our Capitol, despite the fact that crazed mobs seem more interested in attacking Washington than, say, southern New Mexico.
LAW TALK
Attorney: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
Witness: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2011 that Christian radio broadcaster Harold Camping declared May 21, 2011 as the Day of Rapture for all Christians around the world.
WORD OF THE DAY
Divers – [DYE-verz] – adjective
Definition: An indefinite number greater than one; various
Example: During our Memorial Day break from this newsletter, perhaps we will hang with a drunken crowd of journalists, scribblers, painters, experimenters in diverse forms of expression.
WIT OF THE DAY
“Rational thoughts never drive people’s creativity the way emotions do."
-Neil deGrasse Tyson
BIDEN BLURB
“You can contain the pandemic by being rational.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Beach