The Jaffe Briefing - May 20, 2021
** The Jaffe Briefing is off to celebrate the start of summer on Monday, May 24, returning Monday, June 7 **
BEACH HAVEN – If there’s free money, people will figure a way to get it. And nothing can prove that better than the Paycheck Protection Program, with ProPublica reporting on a number of bogus applications. The most glaring cases appear to be in Ocean County, in which the federal government provided loans to dozens of alleged working farms in beach towns. The “Ritter Wheat Club” in Barnegat and “Deely Nuts” in Beach Haven – ostensibly a wheat farm and a tree nut farm – each got $20,833, the maximum amount available for sole proprietorships. “Tomato Cramber,” up the coast in Brielle, got $12,739, while “Seaweed Bleiman” in Manahawkin got $19,957. None of these entities exist in New Jersey’s business records, ProPublica asserts, and it seems like people used bogus addresses. One entity categorized as a beef cattle ranch, “Beefy King,” was even registered in PPP records to the home address of the mayor of Long Beach Township, in what we assume is a prank. “There’s no farming here: We’re a sandbar, for Christ’s sake,” the mayor said, adding that he had no cows at his home, just three dogs.
TRENTON – Gov. Phil Murphy is sweetening the pot for people to get vaccinated. This time, it is with wine, as he announced nine Garden State wineries will be offering a free glass of vino to anyone aged 21 and over who received their first dose this month. There are also some other exciting promotions in this coupon book. For example, New Jersey will be offering the “State Parks Vax Pass,” which waives entrance and parking fees at state parks for vaccinated residents. And that’s not all! Anyone who’s received at least one dose in New Jersey can also enter a lottery to win dinner with Murphy and First Lady Tammy Murphy at Drumthwacket, the governor’s mansion in Princeton. Don’t forget to bring the free wine.
TRENTON – You saw this coming. Fed-up landlords who haven’t seen a rent check in more than a year are trying to fight back for relief, banning together to sue our wine-drinking governor and his administration. As the number of eviction notices have now climbed to nearly 70,000, the Record reports these landlords are suing over an “unconstitutional” executive order that allows tenants to use their security deposits as rent. The landlords claim that’s a “bald power grab” that further threatens their livelihoods and does nothing to recognize their financial struggles. Meanwhile, there’s now a proposed Senate bill that would include an additional $750 million in rental assistance as a trade-off for ending the eviction moratorium, perhaps as early as July 31.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Alaska is the only state whose name is on one row on a keyboard.
TRENTON – It’s tough to go it alone. And Gov. Phil Murphy is certainly on his own island with his mask mandate, as surrounding governors in New York, Pennsylvania, Delaware and Connecticut are also saying fully vaccinated people can breathe free and go maskless, even indoors. “I just don’t want to get burned,” the governor said. Fair enough, but Murphy is still getting a heap of criticism from Republicans who see some easy red meat, as well as pundits who question why the governor is separating himself from CDC guidelines, after closely following them for so many months on end. Could he be strategically preparing for a grand announcement for Memorial Day? It would certainly make for some happy headlines.
TRENTON – We can all agree that there’s plenty of regulation in New Jersey. And, so, kudos to a proposed law that would get rid of silly bicycle licenses that some towns believe are critical to public safety and civic order. Assemblywoman Yvonne Lopez is pushing a bill to ban the licenses statewide, after some kids in Perth Amboy got their bikes confiscated. And that would be a great relief to municipal employees in, say, Union Township and Fair Lawn, who have to spend part of their days licensing local bikes and attempting to explain to residents why it is so vital to do so.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
ALAMEDA, Calif. – Yeah, so many of us are eager to get out after so many months of a pandemic. But flocking to an abandoned gas station to get a whiff of a disgusting flower? Yep, that’s what is happening in the San Francisco Bay Area, as many experience the so-called “corpse flower,” which emits a stench when it blooms. A nursery owner who deals in rare plants posted info on social media about his amorphophallus titanum. When he saw a lot of interest in the giant blooming flower, he decided to wheel it to the abandoned building, where a line of people is now stretching down the block to experience it, the San Francisco Chronicle reports. Further proof that if a line is formed, people will stand on it, regardless as to what awaits.
LAW TALK
Attorney: Can you identify the individual?
Witness: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Attorney: Was this a male or a female?
Witness: Unless the circus was in town, I’m going to go with male.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2011 that a funeral was held for the last living World War I soldier, Claude Choules, tragically dead at just 110.
WORD OF THE DAY
Copious – [KOH-pee-us] – adjective
Definition: Plentiful in number
Example: My wife makes copious notes of my many shortcomings.
WIT OF THE DAY
“For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.”
-H.L. Mencken
BIDEN BLURB
“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, we stand up there and we make really tough decisions, there’s still a 30 percent chance we’re going to get it wrong.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Perfect