The Jaffe Briefing - May 5, 2021

TRENTON – As New Jersey is now bursting with billions in stimulus aid from Uncle Sam, the big question is how best to blow the cash. The Record is providing some guidance, reporting how other states are spending their new-found fortunes. State officials may want to shift around the shopping list, after learning that Indiana will be using $3 billion to buy police body cameras, Maryland is spending nearly $1 billion to send money to low-income workers, Louisiana is ready to hand out $3.2 billion to repair aging water systems, while Oregon is gearing up to spend $2.6 billion on mental health and homelessness. Future public policy analysts will have a field day with all this, as state leaders are now trying to answer the dream question: If you were suddenly given billions of dollars – with little oversight – what could you do right now to make life better for your constituents?

TOMS RIVER – How about using federal stimulus cash to start your own newspaper? That, at least, is the suggestion of Ocean County Commissioner Joseph H. Vicari, frustrated that the media refuses to gobble up his thoughts on things – related to the county or not. He wants to use the next round of federal CARES Act cash to fund a countywide newspaper to publish his very own press releases, the Asbury Park Press reports. “I suggested perhaps — with the CARES Act money — that we can do a local paper paid for by that funding,” Vicari said. ‘Therefore, we can give (residents) the public information that is so necessary.” Vicari is a media critic, often complaining that reporters refuse to write about his issues that range from advocating for the bombing of North Korea to the environmental threat posed by face masks. Vicari complains he doesn’t get enough ink, while also complaining that Sheriff Michael G. Mastronardy gets too much. Regardless, this guy’s federally-funded newspaper would be a must-read, a true guilty pleasure.

ASBURY PARK – As hungry shore-goers chug down the Parkway this summer, Tim McCloone will be eagerly waiting. The prominent restaurateur tells NJ.com that there is a pent-up demand for dining, which is why he is opening three more restaurants in his chain, bringing the number to 13, employing around 1,400 people this summer at peak. And he is making it very tough for his competitors to compete for a limited pool of workers, announcing he will ultimately pay $15 an hour for dishwashers, hostesses, bar backs, and food prep workers. Media has been reporting in recent months about the chronic shortage of people working in restaurants and bars, but with McCloone able to pay the big bucks – from all those vacationers with big bucks – other restaurants will have no choice but to pay dearly, as well. And so will diners, with $20 “gourmet” burgers coming to a menu near you.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Mulan has the highest kill-count of any Disney character.

HOBOKEN – Some elected officials want to communicate with you on social media; they just don’t necessarily want to hear any conflicting responses on their public pages. That’s prompting the City Council to likely create a social media ordinance tonight, which would slap a $500 fine on any governing body member who blocks residents from ripping into their social media posts. Some politicians have used the “block” tool to avoid seeing any backlash of comments, preventing residents from voicing concerns, opinions, etc. So, in the spirit of democracy and open communication, if an elected official now posts on any random topic, he or she should be prepared for some colorful commentary. And, according to this ordinance, the council members can only block constituents if there is targeted abuse or harassment. So, keep it civil, people. And have fun.

STATEWIDE – Yesterday, the story was how you could get a free beer if you get vaccinated, followed by D’Jais in Belmar announcing “free shots” on May 12. Today’s special offer comes from NJ Transit, working with pharma companies to provide two free rail or bus trips for those who get vaccinated. It is all part of the “Vaxride” program, designed to break down any barriers for low-income people to reach a vaccination site. NJ Transit has a secondary interest in promoting today’s special deal, as it wants as many customers as possible to feel comfortable returning to often-congested mass transportation, where commuters are infamously jammed together, face to face. Beating this pandemic is the key priority to rebuilding ridership.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

LONDON – An easy lede: “This wine is out of this world.” So, why is it, exactly? Because this bottle of French wine spent more than a year in space aboard the International Space Station. And now an auction house is planning to put it on the block, thinking there’s some wine connoisseur in this stratosphere who would be willing to pay as much as $1 million to own it. Here’s the argument from the marketing team that tries to justify the value: This particular bottle of wine “matured in a unique environment” of near zero-gravity. The bottle, which typically sells in your local wine shop for $10,000 or so, is already known for flavors of black cherry, cigar box and leather. So, those 14 months in orbit might put this taste in a whole new universe. It’ll cost you a cool $1 million to discover if that’s true.

LAW TALK

Attorney: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

Witness: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

America bid a sad farewell to Al Bundy on this day in 1997, when “Married with Children” goes off the air.

WORD OF THE DAY

Prothalamion – [proh-thuh-LAY-mee-un] – noun

Definition: A song in celebration of a marriage

Example: Expect plenty of prothalamions in New Jersey, as a backlog of in-person weddings take place this summer.

WIT OF THE DAY

“The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.” 

—Jerry Tarkanian

BIDEN BLURB

“Guess what, the cheerleaders in college are the best athletes in college.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Galoshes