The Jaffe Briefing - May 6, 2021

TRENTON – The simple idea behind “food shortage” is, well, there’s not enough food. But there’s another reason for some pockets of food shortage in New Jersey: simply not enough workers to pull vegetables from the ground. Agriculture Secretary Douglas Fisher says that current labor shortages are hitting New Jersey farms especially hard this growing season, sharing a story with the Assembly Budget Committee about a farmer with plenty of asparagus, but no one available to cut it. Likely, the vegetable will just lay as waste and get plowed under. NJ 101.5 cites an ongoing issue: people would rather collect state unemployment benefits and an extra $300 a week in federal aid, rather than spend their hot summer days picking asparagus. Can you blame them?

STATEWIDE – Sports gambling has skyrocketed in New Jersey, home to one of the most thriving markets on the planet. But while $6 billion in bets are flying fast and furious each year, state officials have just one wet blanket to throw on the party: We can’t bet on in-state college games. So, when Rutgers enters a death spiral – and any battered RU fan can quickly detect when things suddenly get hopeless – we sadly can’t make a buck to soften our misfortune. But now it looks like state lawmakers may post a ballot question this November, asking if voters think sports betting should include collegiate games played here. Good timing, too, as the 2025 NCAA men’s college basketball tourney is to be played at Prudential Center. Who's gonna want to be excluded from that action?

SOUTH ORANGE/MAPLEWOOD – What started as a friendly Facebook chat between some local parents has resulted in a brand-new school. But not for the public school district. Rather, these parents have formed a completely independent school – the newly-formed “Village School of South Orange.” The group tells fellow parents that starting in the fall little Johnny can learn his ABCs and 123s for – are you sitting down? – an extra $19,500 a year, TAPinto SOMA reports. And that is beyond, of course, the hefty property taxes that already fund the public schools. But these parents believe they can do it better with a more hands-on approach to learning. Apply here.

BRIEFING BREATHER

The longest-living insect is the termite – up to 100 years.

TRENTON – Go back to school. That’s the message from Gov. Phil Murphy, saying it makes no sense that some school districts plan to leave 43,000 students out of the classroom for the entire year. So, despite the fact that summer recess is just a few glorious weeks away, the governor is calling for the 16 remaining, all-remote school districts in the state to open their doors, NJ.com reports. That includes five public school districts, with Hillside and Irvington planning to offer hybrid classes by May 24, leaving only Passaic, Paterson and Pleasantville – with a total of 43,000 at-home kids – as the only holdouts among 1.4 million public school pupils in New Jersey. “We cannot leave 43,000 of our students out of their classrooms for an entire year,” the governor says. “That is not fair to them, their families, their communities, or their futures.” True, but it remains unclear if opening these buildings so late really moves any needle, anywhere.

STATEWIDE – Every day, there is yet another air-tight reason as to why you should get a COVID shot. Here’s the one for today: Now, every single CVS in New Jersey is offering the vaccine. It’s free. No appointment needed. And since a CVS is located on pretty much every corner in New Jersey, you must seriously have to go out of your way to avoid getting a shot. At this point, the vaccine is spread so far that if you lean the wrong way, you’ll likely end up inoculated. CVS has 324 locations here. Look, you still need to run in the store to pick up a Mother’s Day card. So just stop a few aisles over for some shampoo, maybe a toothbrush and….how about a shot, ok?

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

NEW YORK – You heard it here folks: Tomorrow’s funnies are going to be a bit funnier. That’s because more than 25 cartoonists are banning together to celebrate the quirky holiday of “No Pants Day.” So, expect Dagwood (sadly, not Blondie) to be in his skivvies, as well as Dennis the Menace, Shoe and other fan favorites on the comics page. It’s all about raising money to get clothing to those in need, as newspaper cartoonists ask their devoted readers to donate to thrift shops. No Pants Day, held the first Friday in May, didn’t originate from these clever cartoonists. Rather, it was students at the University of Texas eager to celebrate the end of the semester and prompting others to start a winter spin-off, the No Pants Subway Ride.

LAW TALK

Attorney: Are you sexually active?

Witness: No, I just lie there.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1997 that Michael Jackson and the Bee Gees are both inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame – further providing that there’s plenty of love for falsetto.

WORD OF THE DAY

Sprightly – [SPRYTE-lee] – adjective

Definition: Marked by a gay lightness and vivacity; spirited

Example: I prefer to sing a sprightly, Bee Gees melody in the shower on Thursday mornings.

WIT OF THE DAY

“If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.”

-Jeff Foxworthy

BIDEN BLURB

“I know I'm not supposed to like muscle cars, but I like muscle cars.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Sweet