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The Jaffe Briefing - May 4, 2021

STATEWIDE – Live theater. Busy restaurants. Sitting at an actual bar. Yep, it is all coming back with a big, tri-state announcement that puts our entire region back in business beginning May 19. We’re talking about eliminating indoor capacity at restaurants and stores, while ending outdoor gathering caps. Just think: One year after everything shut down, there will be no limitations to wander museums, ride a roller coaster, hit the gym, check out all the latest happenings in church and generally live unrestricted. Yes, masks, social distancing and vaccine is all paramount, but this is big news for those who thirst for interaction.

NEW BRUNSWICK – Yet, there’s still no in-person commencement this month at Rutgers for its 18,000 graduates. Meanwhile, schools like Penn State, Princeton, Montclair State, Rowan, the University of Delaware, etc. have all figured out a way to properly honor the Class of ’21. RU, in response, has deemed it “not feasible.” TAPInto New Brunswick is raising an additional eyebrow here, musing as to why the football team is hosting its spring game for 5,000 fans on May 20 at Rutgers Stadium – an ideal, open-air venue. Rutgers refuses to break up commencement into smaller groups of, say, perhaps, 5,000 people, and hold the hoopla over several days. That’s what Penn State is doing over three days, with nine sessions. Sure, it is inconvenient. But who cares? RU graduates become RU alumni, who are then supposed to support RU. Maybe after this virtual graduation, the Class of ‘21 will send virtual donations.

STATEWIDE – Vaccination outreach, Jersey style! Gov. Phil Murphy is launching his “shot and a beer” campaign just in time for summer. It’s simple and, we assume, should be very effective. Take the COVID shot; get a free beer through the state’s partnership with the Brewers Guild of New Jersey. There will also be mobile vaccination centers, as well as some old-fashioned door-knocking in areas of the state, especially under-served populations. The big concentration will be cities like New Brunswick, Irvington, Phillipsburg and Camden, which have the lowest percentage of vaccination rates in the state. You can bet the state campaign can quickly be amended to “A Shot and Many, Many Beers” if people just take the darn vaccine and kill this thing.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Pogonophobia is the fear of beards.

PINE VALLEY – Pine Valley, the exclusive men’s-only golf club in Camden County, may be getting with the times. Following the Women’s Suffrage movement of the late 1800s, and then the ratification of the 19th Amendment in 1919 that allowed women to vote, Pine Valley is swiftly adjusting to this new era of women’s rights. Its leaders are changing its dusty bylaws to allow women to be Pine Valley members, with – get this – non-restricted access to the golf course. It is all about the future of golf, these forward-thinking Pine Valley execs explain to Golf Digest, saying we should all follow in the hallowed footsteps of these progressive men and allow our female counterparts to have the same rights and privileges in society. Jeez. Next they’ll think a woman should be permitted to drive the golf cart. Sheesh.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – All Phil. All day. New Jersey should be prepared to see plenty of a smiling Gov. Phil Murphy on the airwaves in the days and weeks preceding the June primary election, as his war chest has $7.3 million to spend, yet doesn’t have an opponent. Murphy launched his re-election campaign in October, yet hasn’t spent money on campaign ads. Because a portion of this cash is part of the public financing program, the governor just can’t roll the taxpayer-fueled cash to the general election. Politico reports we should prepare for a last-minute ad blitz as these public funds are thrown all over, prior to June 8. Wouldn’t it be great if campaigns had some incentive to give back public money they absolutely don’t need?

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

NAPLES, FL. – A little bit of Alabama took the road trip with a man moving to southwest Florida. In fact, it seems the owl travelled several hundred miles stuck in the truck’s front grill and somehow survived. All the man can recall was that he was still driving east through Alabama, on Interstate 75, when he saw a vehicle swerve to avoid a great horned owl. Then – how weird – the owl seemed to magically disappear. How about that? The man says he wasn’t aware the thing was helplessly lodged in his grill until he made it all the way to Naples. Once he finally figured things out, he called the Conservancy of Southwest Florida, which has volunteers to respond to this sort of everyday stuff. The bird reportedly lost a few feathers, appeared a bit annoyed, but was otherwise ok.

INTRODUCING….LAW TALK

Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you this morning?

Witness: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”

Attorney: Any why did that upset you?

Witness: My name is Susie.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 2012 that a study reported 90% of dropouts from Asia’s major city schools needed eyeglasses.

WORD OF THE DAY

Fustian – [FUSS-chun] – noun

Definition: A strong cotton and linen fabric

Example: I often wear my brown fustian jacket coupled with striped pantaloons

WIT OF THE DAY

“I am one of a rare breed of true politicians who definitely say what they may or may not mean with absolute certainty.”

-Anthony Eden

BIDEN BLURB

“No one ever doubts that I mean what I say. The problem is I sometimes say all that I mean.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Mixed