The Jaffe Briefing - March 16, 2021

STATEWIDE – When future historians write about logistics, they should look no further than this ongoing vaccination program, daunting in speed, cost and scope. Gov. Phil Murphy tweets the state has administered 1 million shots over the past two weeks. Mull that for a second, as New Jersey now has delivered more than 3 million doses – both first and second –since this program began. As this vaccination rush marches at blazing speed, the state has expanded eligibility to transportation workers, public safety personnel, members of tribal communities, migrant farmworkers and those who are homeless, while also adding 11 pre-existing conditions to the ever-growing eligibility list. Sure, there are many frustrated people blasting the state because they can’t get a vaccination appointment. But history will treat this sudden, urgent, massive program much more kindly.

STATEWIDE – NJ.com asks: Are people lying to move up the line for vaccine? Uh, yeah. There is story after story of people fibbing or creating their very own stretched definition of how they may sorta be considered an “essential worker.” NJ.com tells the story of “Tom,” a guy from New York who registered in our state’s appointment system to score some vaccine. “They didn’t ask me anything. They just scanned my paper,” “Tom” said, referring to the QR code staff used to verify his appointment. The state freely admits it doesn’t want roadblocks for people to get vaccine, as the rush is on to get everyone inoculated. The system relies on people to be honest about whether they qualify. So, if you say you are a smoker, no one at the vaccination site is demanding you produce a pack of Marlboros. Health authorities know there is plenty of BS in the system. But how much? We’ll save that for the historians to assess.

STATEWIDE – Today marks the one-year anniversary of when New Jersey restaurants and bars were ordered to “temporarily” shut down. There’s an estimate that one-third of the eateries in the state are now closed indefinitely, perhaps never to return, while others have seen business evaporate by up to 80%. But as the restaurants steadily open, as the governor eases his orders, what will this industry look like? The Record reports that smartphones will replace menus. There will be more outdoor dining, fewer menu items, more take-out/delivery with the proliferation of “ghost kitchens,” less dine-in tables, more pre-made, take-out cocktails, more “micro weddings” in extra restaurant space and plenty of pent-up energy for normalcy, as things eventually revert back to 2019.

BRIEFING BREATHER

No number from 1 to 999 includes the letter "a" in its word form.

ATLANTIC CITY – Maybe next time the jail guards will think twice about putting a convicted scam artist on a plane by himself and assume he would promptly report to a halfway house in Newark, after a layover in Charlotte. That boo-boo occurred last July, when prison officials waved farewell at a Pennsylvania airport to Patrick Giblin, en route to a group living in the Brick City. They wouldn’t see him again until last week, when the feds grabbed Giblin in Atlantic City, adding another interesting chapter to the life of a guy known for swindling more than 50 women out of $200,000 via telephone dating services. He is also known for disappearing on cops at work release programs, as well as continually duping women looking for love as he snuck away from authorities. Giblin is now looking at another year in prison, as we turn the page to, say, Chapter 7 of this must-read.

MOORESTOWN – Just in case we didn’t feel stupid enough, there’s a local teenage puzzle maker who had her crossword published Feb. 17 in The New York Times. And – to add to this – Soleil Saint-Cyr just started making crossword puzzles last August, NJ.com reports. She was just 17 years old when she concocted the NYT puzzle, which the newspaper bought for $500, giving her the designation as the youngest female puzzle constructor in the newspaper’s history. Saint-Cyr, who attends private boarding school at the not-too-shabby Lawrenceville School, attributes her young, budding brilliance to attending “lots of science fairs.”

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

HOBART, TASMANIA – It’s the surfing wipe-out not soon forgotten. Not only did the surfer come crashing down off the island of Pedra Branca in 2017, but he was also separated from his favorite board, which floated away, forcing him to swim back to shore. The surfer, and others, then took out a boat and a couple of jet skis to look for the surfboard for three hours, figuring its bright colors would be easy to detect. Alas, no. The surfer is now learning what happened to his board over the past four years, when two tourists mentioned to some locals that their sons, who are fishermen, recalled spotting a surfboard floating in the water a few years back. They plucked the barnacle-encrusted board out of the water in 2018, after it was floating around for 16 months, travelling 1,700 miles past New Zealand and ending up in Queensland. The surfer is now coordinating with the fishermen for a tearful reunion as, apparently, the board still works great. Hopefully, no holes.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Thank you to Mrs. William Howard Taft, who planted the first D.C. cherry tree on this day in 1912, following a gift of 3,020 trees from the mayor of Tokyo.

WORD OF THE DAY

Pedantic – [/pəˈdan(t)ik/] – adjective

Definition: Too concerned with unimportant details; boring

Example: I can be rather pedantic when I select my morning vocabulary words.

WIT OF THE DAY

“We would rather die on our feet than live on our knees.”

-Franklin D. Roosevelt

BIDEN BLURB

"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened.’”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

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