The Jaffe Briefing - March 15, 2021
TRENTON – Money is raining from the sky, as the $1.9 trillion stimulus package seems to offer something for everyone, especially those in lower income brackets. If you are a parent, you get more tax credits for each child. If you are unemployed, you’re getting another $300 a week. If you have kids in childcare, you will get generous credits. If you lost your job, the feds will pay your health insurance through September. Meanwhile, local, county and state coffers will be overflowing with more than $10 billion in stimulus, which, let’s assume, has to trickle to you in some way. And let’s not forget those $1,400 stimulus checks, which can arrive as soon as this weekend. You can’t argue the government is trying to help; let’s hope this enormous expense has the defining impact as intended.
TRENTON – In this rush of good news, Gov. Phil Murphy is throwing a cherry on top: a beginning sense of “normal” as early as Memorial Day. “I hope you're down there on Memorial Day. That's the holiday we have targeted, but certainly by the Fourth of July," Murphy tells CBS. “Will it be completely back to normal? No. I'm not sure we'll be all on top of each other in some crowded club, but it's going to be a lot more normal than it is right now and a lot more normal than last summer on the shore. I'm looking forward to a fantastic Jersey Shore summer.” Sounds like we’ll all be invited to Drumthwacket for a BBQ. Medium rare, governor. Thanks.
TRENTON – Shhh. Nothing to share here. That is the message of the Murphy Administration, which has made it difficult for reporters to access information about the state’s COVID response, the Record reports. Media have gotten answers like “No responsive records” in efforts to find out how the state prepared for the pandemic, where it sent protective gear, how it decided to reopen parts of the state and who is eligible for vaccines. Another popular response to these very relevant questions? “Advisory, consultative or deliberative material,” in explaining the denial. The Record notes requests for public records are often delayed and then, as the story grows colder and colder, denied. Murphy’s response? With 170 COVID-19 briefings and 300 media interviews the governor has done over the past year, how could he possibly not be transparent? Well, the answer is obvious: Control the message and answer only questions you choose to answer.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
PISCATAWAY – Rutgers basketball fans no longer must endure sports announcers reminding us – again – that the team hasn’t earned a bid to the NCAA tournament since 1991. Now those guys with the awful neckties will have to find another tired talking point about Rutgers, following last night’s glorious, long-awaited announcement that the team is playing Clemson this Friday in the first round of the tournament, seeded at No. 10 in the Midwest Region. And if we win? Then, RU plays a really tough Houston team on Sunday. But ya know what? Let’s just enjoy the moment – a proud team in the Big Dance, with the well-deserved silence from all those basketball “analysts.”
CHERRY HILL – The Big Mick is coming to New Jersey! Tickets are now on sale for a rare opportunity to enjoy all the great – and oddly familiar – items on the McDowell’s menu, from April 16-26 at the Cherry Hill Mall. Expect the McDonald’s lawyers to descend as you chomp down on the Big Mick (a Big Mac with, of course, no sesame seeds), as well as Chicken Chunks (not McNuggets) and some other of your other favorite knock-off fast food. And, of course, there will be plenty of “Coming to America” merch to buy, sure to make your soul glow. Buy your tickets here.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
CHICO, CA – Sierra Nevada has made history, but not with its award-winning, quite-tasty beer. Instead, the company has broken records in the keg launch, as it was able to catapult a full keg 438 feet, shattering a previous world achievement of a measly 253 feet last week. The brewing company took the task seriously, investing in a 20-foot high trebuchet-style catapult for the grand attempt captured on local media. Company officials were quick to note the winning keg was filled with water. “We didn’t want to sacrifice any beer,” the brand manager said.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was a good morning for television journalism on this day in 1954, when the CBS Morning News debuted with Walter Cronkite and Jack Paar. An added plus: no “late-breaking news” about in-fighting amongst the royals.
WORD OF THE DAY
Attitudinize – [at-uh-TOO-duh-nyze] – verb
Definition: To assume an affected mental attitude; pose
Example: Was the NCAA-bound tourney team attitudinizing on Selection Sunday?
WIT OF THE DAY
“The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.”
—David Friedman
BIDEN BLURB
“I believe force should be a tool of last resort, not first.”
-Joe Biden
WORD OF THE DAY
Chill