The Jaffe Briefing - January 8, 2021

STATEWIDE – But after the disaster this week, one would assume that New Jersey’s only Trump supporter in Congress would finally blink from all the brainwashing. Alas, no. Rep. Jeff Van Drew, the former Democrat-turned-sycophant, is still somehow in Trump’s corner. After all the unbelievable nonsense in the temple of our democracy, Van Drew still opposed the certifying of Joe Biden’s election. He considers the massive invasion on the Capitol and the certifying process as “two different things.” He says: “If everybody would clear their head and look at this — that some really wrong things did happen.” Apparently besides the 2016 election.

STATEWIDE – If it was up to Rep. Frank Pallone, Trump would be banned from ever tweeting again.  Likely only the U.S. President who will ever earn this distinction, Trump is now suspended from Facebook and Instagram until inauguration and perhaps forever. Pallone is fully on board, calling for the tech companies to “remove” Trump for “inciting violence and spreading dangerous misinformation” online, Politico reports. Think about this: some snot-nosed middle school kid is allowed to post a photo online, but not the alleged leader of the entire free world. Expect Trump to now find an even warmer home on extremist social media sites, which, no joke, is downright scary.

STATEWIDE – And, now, before anyone accuses us of being anti-Trump, it is worth noting that the Republicans in the state’s Congressional delegation are not calling for his immediate impeachment. That is a positive statement for Trump, right? But we also need to note that every single Democrat in our delegation is calling for the proceedings during the waning days of his administration, NJ Globe reports. Rep. Bonnie Watson Coleman was the first out with an announcement on Wednesday, while other members of the delegation fell in line with announcements through last night. It is very unlikely that Trump can get booted before his term expires Jan. 20. Perhaps it’s just best to isolate him in front of a TV, with the golf channel, and McDonald’s delivered on the hour.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Millie the White House dog earned more than four times as much as President Bush in 1991.

DENVILLE – A Morris County lawmaker isn’t just blowing smoke with his idea to snip New Jersey’s wholesale cigar tax. Assemblyman Brian Bergen believes that cutting the state tax to just 50 cents per cigar could drive up state revenue by as much as $8.5 million by boosting cigar sales in the Garden State. As a bonus, Bergen says the tax cut would dissuade many cigar aficionados from traipsing into Pennsylvania where there is no cigar tax. He tells the political website, The Center Square, that New Jersey has “fantastic tobacco shops and local cigar bars that offer hand-rolled, high-quality products. We can’t completely snuff out our competition, (but) we can encourage residents to shop at local independent cigar retailers.” Puff on that Pennsylvania.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ON THE BLOCK – We’ve waited, we’ve waited and now – thankfully – it’s finally here. The KITT car – the Pontiac Firebird Trans Am from the 1980s series Knight Rider – is up for auction on Jan. 23. And this bitchin’ ride is being auctioned by no other than David Hasselhoff, who has owned KITT since the series went off the air. The bid is now at $975,000, far exceeding the auctioneer’s estimate of $175,000. Not only does the winner get the car, but “The Hoff” will deliver it personally. The car is all part of "Hofficial merchandise" being sold off, including a Baywatch pinball machine. Looks like Hoff has been losing at the track.

GUILDHALL, VT – Surprising no buyer has locked up this historic home – just a short drive to Canada. For $149,000, buyers get four nice bedrooms, two modern baths, an upscale kitchen and, oh yeah, seven shabby jail cells. Yep, we’re talking grungy cells with dirty green walls, paint-chipped steel bars, filthy porcelain toilets – all untouched since 1969. That, according to the Realtor.com listing, is when Vermont closed down a county jail and sold off this attached home that had been the jailer’s residence since 1878. The listing invites buyers to “bring your own ideas” for what to do with this convenient, in-home lock-up. It would certainly give overwhelmed parents a whole new definition for a “time out.”

BAR GRAMMAR

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1993 that a hunka-hunka postage stamps were sold, when the Elvis stamp was revealed. (The stamp reportedly became the most successful commemorative release in post office history, with some 500 million copies in print.)

WORD OF THE DAY

Apologia – [ap-uh-LOH-jee-uh] – noun

Definition: A defense, especially of one's opinions, position, or actions

Example: Would a nicely-worded tweet be enough of an apologia for an outrageous blunder?

WIT OF THE DAY

“You do not lead by hitting people over the head -- that's assault, not leadership.” 

- Dwight Eisenhower

BIDEN BLURB

“I wish we could say we couldn’t see it coming, but that isn’t true. We could.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Snowless