The Jaffe Briefing - January 11, 2021

TRENTON – A lingering pandemic with 20,000 New Jerseyans dead and 500,000 testing positive. An upended state budget with billions in borrowing. Unemployment, foreclosure and shuttered businesses. And Gov. Phil Murphy running for re-election. That pretty much sums up tomorrow’s “State of the State Address,” which the governor will be pre-recording and delivering online at 1 p.m. Usually, this address is a great PR opportunity for an incumbent governor, in which he/she can tout all the achievement and all the big plans coming up, as lawmakers loudly applaud the unfiltered message. For Murphy, there needs to be somber remarks about COVID 19 and what the heck the state can do to survive. Not exactly rousing stuff here, but probably the most relevant “State of the State” in years.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Charles Darwin’s pet turtle recently died, at age 176.

STATEWIDE – What a bunch of tightwads. That’s how New Jerseyans come off in a new study of “charitable giving” done for 24/7 Wall St. The financial news site says the Garden State’s generosity is third lowest in the nation. While the average American gave $608 to charity in 2020, the average Jerseyan gave a measly $337 last year … less than most of us spend on Chinese take-out in any given month. At least we are ahead of Massachusetts who gave $309 and America’s biggest cheapskates: Rhode Islanders who donated a pitiful $195 to charities last year. Utah is Number 1 with $2,808 in average donations followed by Colorado, $1,100; Virginia, $1,094; and Idaho, $1,031. The study says millennials, ages 25–34, are the most generous donors. Baby Boomers, ages 55–72, are less likely to part with a dollar, as they chase hoodlums off the lawn.

SPRING LAKE – It is the absolute dead of winter, and you are already not welcome this summer on Spring Lake beaches. NJ.com reports all 5,500 seasonal beach badges have already been sold out. Word of the big sale was done through the borough’s newsletter to residents, thus ensuring that anyone north of Exit 100 had zero clue that these $110 passes were on the market for the fleeting moment. Spring Lake officials are scoffing at our assumptions of tomfoolery, saying more than half of the passes were sold to out-of-towners and that more badges may be sold. Perhaps between Feb. 3-4, from 3 a.m. to 4 a.m. at borough hall. No stopping/standing permitted. No checks, credit cards or cash will be accepted.

BEDMINSTER – There will be a PGA golf championship next year, it just won’t be here. The PGA voted yesterday to shift the tourney away from the Trump National Golf Club following last week's pro-Trump mob at the Capitol, CBS reports. “We're fiduciaries for our members, for the game, for our mission, and for our brand. And how do we best protect that?” a PGA official tells the AP. “Our feeling was given the tragic events of Wednesday that we could no longer hold it at Bedminster." Trump folks are less than pleased, noting their “beautiful partnership” with the PGA and the association has “no right” to flee what would have been the first major championship at a Trump course. Add more litigation to the pile.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

WASHINGTON – For the 20 people or so who actually read the $2.3 trillion relief bill signed last month, they may be surprised to learn of a less-publicized provision: U.S. intelligence officials have 180 days to tell us what they really know about UFOs. Yes, there is absolutely no connection to coronavirus. That said, the clock is ticking for the incoming director of National Intelligence and the secretary of defense to provide Congress with an unclassified report about "unidentified aerial phenomena," CNN reports. Moreover, Congress is demanding to know about any potential security threats from aliens – information that will be unclassified, finally, for us all to see.

BAR GRAMMAR

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1997 that the “People’s Choice Award” went to Bill Cosby. Boy, what could possibly go wrong?

WORD OF THE DAY

Haptic – [HAP-tik] – adjective

Definition: Relating to or based on the sense of touch

Example: My kid can’t fathom that Atari did not come with a haptic game controller.

WIT OF THE DAY

“For me, there can be no higher public service than serving as a member of the U.S. Supreme Court.”

-Merrick Garland

BIDEN BLURB

“I’m proud to nominate Judge Merrick Garland for Attorney General of the United States.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Clouds