The Jaffe Briefing - January 7, 2021

STATEWIDE - There is always plenty of focus this time of the year on the United Van Lines study, which shows every year that people are fleeing New Jersey. But, as ROI-NJ reports, this "study" does not tell the whole story. For example, how does the study make up for the fact that some people do not hire a national moving company? And what about all the immigrants who come to this country, perhaps rent a U-Haul, and move in with family and friends? And what about the fact that New Jersey has traditionally been an outmigration state, ever since the first immigrant arrived in New York Harbor seeking an acre and a mule? Sure, this study can slam New Jersey every year. But as ROI-NJ astutely notes, United Van Lines paints the wrong message, using the company's myopic information to make it appear like no one wants to live here.

HACKENSACK - Wanna grab dinner in the sack? Huh? No, no, that is the brand-new marketing campaign for downtown Hackensack, as town leaders are trying to create an exciting edge that will bring people in. Apparently, sex sells, reports News 12 New Jersey. And that is why people living and working in the Main Street restaurants and apartment complexes are now all in "The Sack." The Hackensack Main Street Business Alliance - which believes it is onto something here - is now spending money on radio ads and billboards. For them, either love the sack. Or, get sacked. Either way, it will certainly generate buzz.

STATEWIDE – There were plenty of raised eyebrows when the feds were sending $600 stimulus checks to dead people or to living people who are already rolling in dough. Meanwhile, families with an undocumented spouse – many of whom needed relief funds the most – were left in the cold. That is changing, NJ.com reports, as the feds roll out the second round of checks. U.S. citizens who filed taxes with their undocumented spouse will receive $600 per person with a Social Security number. The law will also allow these households to retroactively receive checks for up to $1,200 and an additional $500 per child under the CARES Act. Yes, sure, wealthy people will somehow still find “relief funds” in their accounts and expect dearly-departed Uncle Harry to find a nice gift via direct deposit. But there are high hopes that more of the available cash goes to the right people.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Potato chips cause more weight gain than any other food. 

NORTHFIELD – A mail-in ballot blunder means a “do-over” election for one seat on the Atlantic County Board of Commissioners. Democrat Thelma Witherspoon clearly won the race with 15,034 votes, 286 more than her Republican opponent. But, the Press of Atlantic City says a Superior Court judge “decertified” the Witherspoon victory, agreeing with county GOP claims that the County Clerk sent more than 500 mistaken mail-in ballots in Witherspoon’s election district, denying at least 328 people their right to vote. The judge’s ruling means there will be one empty seat on the nine-member county commission until after the new April 20 election. A spokesman for Witherspoon says she’s “upbeat, hurt and disappointed, but she is ready to fight on.”

NEWARK – We’ve got plenty of “mystery meat” right here. Just visit any elementary school cafeteria. So, it’s a good thing US Customs agents seized nine pounds of something called “bushmeat” from an American traveler returning to the Newark airport from Ghana in West Africa on Tuesday. As scrumptious as “bushmeat” may sound, it’s actually a CDC catch-all term for meat from rats, bats, snakes, monkeys, boars and other wild animals. These third-world sources of sustenance are banned in the US because they are linked to diseases like Ebola. Plus, eww. NJ.com says the passenger won’t face fines because he willingly declared the mystery meat to customs agents.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

BOSTON – Apparently not much news to report in the Massachusetts Legislature, where the big focus seems to be seeking the public’s help to select the official state dinosaur. As you can imagine, there are plenty of opinions, with the lines of division amongst the governing body. State Rep. Jack Lewis plans on filing the legislation on Jan. 15, so it is really important that everyone in the entire state weights in with their opinion. The Framingham Democrat says the big issue has boiled down to two species: the Podokesaurus holyokensis vs. the Anchisaurus polyzelus. Both appeared to live in Massachusetts at some moment, but there appears to be no eyewitnesses, further complicating the issue. All await the big decision next week.

BAR GRAMMAR

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

There was too much leaning on this day in 1990, when the Leaning Tower of Pisa was closed to visitors for the first time in 800 years. The tilt was 16 feet off the perpendicular, prompting deep concerns about a toppling.

WORD OF THE DAY

Pugilism – [PYOO-juh-liz-um] – noun

Definition: boxing

Example: Capitol Hill cops have clearly mastered pugilism.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Rebellion has its roots in government's indifference and incompetence."

-Mike Barnicle

BIDEN BLURB

“Enough is enough is enough.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Shiny