The Jaffe Briefing - April 9, 2018
OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
DOWN THE AISLE - Wedding bells may no longer chime for anyone under 18 years-old if New Jersey finally becomes the first state to ban minors from marrying. Lawmakers are expected to stop 16- and 17-year-olds from making trips down the aisle, even with their parents' crazy consent. Gov. Chris Christie vetoed such a ban last year, but state Sen. Nellie Pou tells the New Jersey Law Journal that she believes Gov. Phil Murphy would give his blessing. This law safeguards people from making bad decisions that last a lifetime, such as appearing in the high school yearbook with parachute pants and a mullet.
NEW BRUNSWICK - Rutgers loses money on its athletics. So what? NJ.com is out this morning with its latest blaring expose, showing that at least six of the 13 Big Ten schools lost money in the 2016-17 year. Rutgers has bled scarlet every year this century; nearly $400 million since 2003-04. Of course, taxpayers are entitled to be aghast. But athletics are more than athletics. It is mass marketing. It is school identity. It is state pride. It is a lifetime connection between alumni and the university. And athletics puts Rutgers on the map, and on national television. Sure, there is a professor at Rutgers who is probably doing groundbreaking work in the area of pharmacokinetics, akin to winning the Rose Bowl. But, sadly, that's not what builds the brand that brings in applicants and sells Rutgers garb. No one is happy that RU athletics loses money, but being part of the Big 10 means much more than what is shown on a spreadsheet.
AT THE BAR - The marketing gurus at Applebee's are taking a huge gamble this month: If they offer $1 margaritas, will customers flock in and buy a whole bunch of overpriced food? They are rolling the dice with the so-called "Dollarita," which we surmise includes the absolute cheapest tequila north of Tijuana, mixed with a heavy dose of margarita mix and ice, dropped in a 10 oz. mug. You can dare try one of these Dollaritas at nearly 40 participating Applebee's in New Jersey through the end of the month. See if you can get free chips to go with your buck drinks. Ignore the menu, with all the high profit-margin items, and ask for plenty of water to try to wash it all down.
TRENTON - New Jersey has some of the nation's toughest gun laws; a good thing. But when 80 percent of guns involved in crime come from outside of New Jersey, what good does it do? Gov. Phil Murphy is now requiring State Police to publish data on the origins of guns involved in crime as soon as next month, part of suite of gun-tightening measures currently maneuvering through the Legislature. Of interest: this out-of-state gun information is already collected and open to the public via the FBI, NPR reports. This law would simply streamline the process. With such data available for all to peruse, let's watch the NRA spins this policy as somehow violating both the First and Second Amendment, and perhaps a couple of commandments.
STATEWIDE - Most inmates in our state prisons will one day be free. And these people will need to make a living. Those two obvious facts are reasons why state lawmakers are considering a bill that would make hundreds of prisoners eligible for state grants and scholarships for college-level courses they are taking behind bars. Obvious stuff here.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
ROYAL OAK, Mich. - Forget the car magnets and keychains. The real souvenir at the Detroit Zoo are five-pound buckets of animal poop. They will be generously handed out April 14 as part of the zoo's big GreenFest celebration at absolutely no charge. It could be monkey poo, elephant poo or giraffe poo, or perhaps - for some lucky visitors - a fascinating mixture of it all. Whatever the case, there are buckets of stuff for the first 1,000 lucky visitors, as part of the zoo's effort to highlight its "digester." The contraption converts 500 tons of animal manure and other organic waste each year into methane-rich gas to power the zoo's animal hospital. It is suggested that tourists use their buckets of poop for compost, although they can really use it for anything, like stocking stuffers and boss birthday gifts.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2015 that a 37-year-old South Carolina man is rescued 500 miles from home, after 66 harrowing days at sea, living only on fish and rainwater. His first question? "Wait, so you are saying Bruce Jenner's boobs are real?"
WORD OF THE DAY
Ineluctable - [in-ih-LUK-tuh-buhl] - adjective
Definition: Not to be avoided, changed or resisted; inevitable
Example: Is it inevitable to select an ineluctable Word of the Day?
WEATHER IN A WORD
Boring