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The Jaffe Briefing - April 10, 2018

OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
 
IN THE CLASSROOM - As your kids trudge the school hallways this morning, the state is out with its list of the absolute worst teachers of 2017. All 76 of these so-called professionals had their licenses yanked last year for reasons that will shock you. One dragged a 10-year-old kid through the halls of a Trenton school, another helped students cheat on state tests. Another robbed a bank. There was the guy who stole from the student activity fund to fuel his gambling addiction, and the administrator who ripped off the district to fund his family's business. Then, of course, you have the teachers having sex with students, like the coach who just got his teacher's license and thought it fine to have an affair with a girl on his softball team.  Hold your nose and read the list here.
 
STATEWIDE - Nepotism - the tried-and-true practice in local government - is getting attacked in some towns, who are passing tighter anti-nepotism ordinances, the Record reports. The newspaper noted that the payroll of some small towns reads like a family tree, with the police chief's brother-in-law working here, and the councilman's sister-in-law working there. (The Record had plenty of fun connecting the dots in Lodi.) While it is not illegal to hire family members, some good-government people are rolling their eyes. Meanwhile, all the nepotism supporters say these ordinances just block good people from public work, like cousin Joey who has had a tough time lately. Ma says he just needs a break.
 
STATEWIDE - When you call "911," the police and fire come. So, everything is fine, right?  Well, no. Apparently, the state's 911 system is woefully outdated with voice-only technology, and hasn't really been updated since the lime-green rotary phone was all the rage. State officials say there is obviously plenty of new technology since the 1960s, like text, images and video, that callers should be able to use to alert emergency responders. NJ 101.5 reports on a bill now working through the state Legislature, which would force a "next generation" system to be implemented statewide in the coming years.

TRENTON - Under state law, utility companies can be fined $100 a dayfor widespread power outages.  Some lawmakers think that fine may be a bit light for massive corporations like JCP&L, which, according to some quick and unofficial web research, could have upwards of $50 billion in assets and $15 billion in annual revenues. "One hundred dollars a day? Please, give me a break," said State Sen. Joe Pennacchio, R-Morris, who is pushing for a bill that would fine utilities $25,000 a day for future outages.
 
LITTLE FALLS - A local woman who once appeared on episodes of "The Cosby Show" let the media know what she thinks of her former boss. The 39-year-old protester appeared topless at a suburban Philadelphia courthouse yesterday, her body scrawled with the names of more than 50 Cosby accusers, as she ran in front of the comedian toward a bank of TV cameras. Her message? Women's Lives Matter. Another hallmark moment for "America's Dad." Pass another pudding pop.
 
 
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
 
MANCHESTER, N.H. - A woman applying for a job at a New Hampshire county jail ended up in the lock-up, after a quick background check showed she was wanted for theft in Maine. The suspect thought it made perfect sense to show up at the Hillsborough County Department of Corrections on Friday, with a resume, a firm handshake and a smile. Now in cuffs, she was scheduled to be arraigned yesterday. And, no, she did not get a job offer, but she could make upwards of nine cents a day in the prison laundry.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
 
Boy, Kim Jong Un must be one terrific leader. He was "re-elected" as the Chairman of the Workers' Party of Korea on this day in 2014, securing a not-to-shabby 100 percent of the vote.
 
WORD OF THE DAY
 
Kitsch - [KITCH] - noun
 
Definition: A tacky or lowbrow quality or condition
 
Example: Happy to loan you some of the kitsch from my closet.
 
WEATHER IN A WORD
 
Clearing