The Jaffe Briefing - March 29, 2018

HOWELL - There's a big beef in Howell, over a group of bulls that escaped during the four'easter last week.  The bovines have since been hanging out on a neighbor's farm, prompting local farm owners to lock horns.  It all started on March 22 in the town's rural Farmland section, known locally as "Howell-bama," when a tree fell and broke a fence. That prompted a stampede of bulls, many running over to the neighbor's land. When CBS rolled up yesterday to tell this story, they found the farm owners yelling at each other (No Bull). The bull owner explained it is not exactly easy to move a black angus bovine that does not want to be moved, but promised to get them off the neighbor's land as soon as they can somehow be pushed, or pulled, into a trailer. Volunteers are currently being sought.

TRENTON - New Jersey is sending another message to gun companies: We don't want your damn stocks either. NJ.com reports the state has sold off its $1.9 million investment in a Utah-based semi-automatic rifle manufacturer, a mere speck in the state's $76.7 billion pension plan for government workers. Kudos to the State Investment Council for sending an anti-gun message. Also helping the decision, likely, is the fact that this stock price has been wacked, off 36 percent from its 52-week high.

PATERSON - Some may think the local electorate is not paying attention to City Hall politics, but apparently the Silk City is of huge interest in the Dominican Republic. The Paterson Press reports on the travels of mayoral candidate Alex Mendez, who went to the Caribbean country for the funeral of his 106-year-old grandfather. (Sorry for the loss.) While Mendez was there, he hit the local media circuit, doing talk shows to discuss all the captivating issues facing a city about 1,500 miles to the north. Mendez - suddenly a media darling - said Dominican leaders were eager to offer support, as he charts his candidacy to lead the largest city in Passaic County, where 10 percent of the locals identify themselves as Dominican.

JERSEY CITY - Two local cops have been suspended without pay for doing something really stupid at a Domino's pizzeria on Monday. Now, no one knows exactly what that stupid thing was, as Hudson County officials are keeping tight-lipped. But the charges are a bit wild: third-degree terroristic threats, disorderly conduct and harassment. Hmm. The corporate honchoes at Domino's aren't talking either, but NJ.com was able to interview one unnamed employee, who claimed the cops attacked the manager and threatened to arrest him over a delivery issue. Did the pizza arrive in 31 minutes? Was the half-mushroom/half-meatball delivered as half-meatball/half-mushroom? We will find out the answer to these tantalizing questions on April 11, when these cheesy cops appear in court.