The Morning Briefing - May 17, 2016
ATLANTIC CITY – Would allowing people to drink in public help tourism or just create more winos on the Boardwalk? That’s yet another impossible question before the City Council, now debating if people can legally consume booze on the Boardwalk. First point: We thought you were already allowed to do that, so, oops. Second point: If this law passes, you would be somehow be required to buy from only a licensed business adjacent to the Boardwalk, as long as the cup features the name of the business, the Press of Atlantic City reports. There are countless ways to circumvent this, so city officials need to be prepared. Or, perhaps the desperate need to create foot traffic trumps all concerns.
WEST ORANGE – Our very quiet governor will quietly be at the Turtle Back Zoo at noon today to quietly deliver remarks before a crowd that will be cutting the ribbon on the new Turtle Back Zoo African Adventure Exhibit. Gov. Chris Christie may also stop by the giraffes, who also have very little to say at the moment.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – There are 18 long months until the next gubunatorial election, but Phil Murphy just can’t wait any longer to talk about his solutions. Rather than wait until New Jersey voters go to the polls this November to decide on a President, Murphy wants us all to start thinking about how New Jersey can benefit from a Murphy Administration, run by a former Goldman Sachs guy who was the U.S. ambassador to Germany. “Folks are screaming out for adult leadership, leadership that they can trust, leadership that has their back,” he says, in a YouTube video announcing his candidacy of no surprise to anyone.
RUTHERFORD – It’s nearly impossible for a mayor to seek a 2 percent raise without dealing with a council chamber full of seething gadflies. Most mayors are content with earning pennies an hour, but enjoying all that free coffee at the ribbon-cuttings. And so it seemed doubtful that Rutherford Mayor Joe DeSalvo’s plan for a 1,750-percent raise would go unnoticed. It didn’t, as he is now removing a plan to hike his salary from $4,000 a year to $74,000 a year, in a new, full-time role, the Record reports. So, now the mayor will hire someone else to handle administrative duties for the 18,000-person town, which, we assume, will ultimately cost taxpayers the same amount.
LACEY TOWNSHIP – Happy to provide a grateful donation to the Lacey Township Police Department, able to lasso a “suspected” white supremacist hiding in the woods with military grade weapons and a Hitler-style mustache. Cops were combing through 60 acres of woods, seeking this convicted felon armed with an AK-47. On Sunday, they found him, and a pal, in full combat gear, also with a Walther P38 9mm handgun, eight 30-round high-capacity magazines and one 100-round drum magazine. Jeez. Interesting to hear the perspective of those who blindly cling to the Second Amendment.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
CATSKILL, N.Y. – If you are hiding a lost zebra in your garage, sorry, it is time to give it back. The owner of a lost zebra is desperate for its return, offering up a hard-earned $1,000 for the safe return of the five-month-old animal, who goes by the name “Zula.” (Unclear if zebras respond to their names, but good info, anyway.) Zula was spooked by a fallen branch on Thursday and she took off from her barn, about 30 miles south of Albany. The Albany Times Union notes it would be difficult for you to hide Zula for any long period, because, of course, we’re talking about a striped horse.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
On this day in 1975, NBC bought the rights to “Gone With the Wind” for a cool $5 million – showing TV executives didn’t give a damn.
WORD OF THE DAY
Darkle – verb
Definition: To lie in the dark
Example: I was darkling this morning in bed, praying I didn’t have to get up so early.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Raindrops.