The Morning Briefing - May 2, 2016
PRINCETON — Princeton University is all about success, and showing success. And celebrating success. And being a success. And that is why the CV of a Princeton University psychology professor is making news, as he proudly highlights all his failures. Correcting the public impression that he is an overwhelming success, the resume features such sections as "Degree programs I did not get into" and "Academic positions and fellowships I did not get." Princeton University is likely calling such a candid, unique CV as “yet another stunning display of success.”
JERSEY CITY – Remember that mall Easter bunny who beat up the shopper in March at Newport Centre? An update: A Hudson County judge downgraded the aggravated assault charges to a disorderly bunny offense. Apparently the shopper threw punches with the bunny when the shopper’s toddler slipped from a chair during the official holiday portrait. The bunny’s defense attorney expects his client to be fully vindicated in the public brawl – now a holiday YouTube sensation to be enjoyed year after year.
CAMDEN – Mister Postman look and see, do you have a tax refund for me? Probably not, if your postman was former Pennsauken letter carrier Earl Champagne, who admitted in federal court to stealing $442,775 worth of income tax refund checks from homes along his route. The Courier-Post says Champagne stole 72 Treasury checks in 2014, then handed them over to two conspirators who paid him a ridiculously low $50 per check. Champagne, a postal worker for nearly 20 years, pleaded guilty last week to two federal theft charges. He faces up to 15 years in prison for each count. In hindsight, perhaps he should have asked for $75 per check, minimum.
IN SCHOOL – State education officials are trying to decide if middle and high school students can stay in bed a little later. This afternoon, at Camden County College's Blackwood campus, they are hosting the first in a series of hearings about starting school later in the morning. Hearings continue Wednesday at the N.J. Principals & Supervisors Association office in Monroe; and May 10 at Jersey City's Franklin Williams Middle School. Later-start advocates told The Record that a lack of sleep negatively affects academic success. No clue if a later start will just mean the kids stay up later. Email your thoughts to
LAWRENCE – Three visitors to “The Wizarding World of Harry Potter” theme park claim they were left dangling upside-down for nearly an hour on a stalled roller coaster. They didn't fall victim to the levicorpus jinx; they claim it was poor maintenance. Now, the three friends from town are suing Universal Studios in Florida over the 2014 mishap. According to N.J. Advance Media, the lawsuit says the trio were “left stranded in midair,” their cries for help ignored, and they blame Universal for not ensuring their safety. “He-who-must-not-be-named” was not mentioned as a defendant.
STATEWIDE – If you have a baby or were once one, you need to celebrate “National Keeping Babies Safe Day,” an annual Jersey event on May 2 to focus on safe sleep practices for infants, and ensure that safe baby products are on the market. Tonight, in Green Brook, the non-profit Keeping Babies Safe celebrates those who are making a huge difference in the corporate world and through legislation, honoring Rep. Leonard Lance, Sen. Tom Kean, Jr., Assemblyman Jamel Holley, Toys ‘R Us and countless volunteers.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
The next time you can actually navigate a highway, make sure to thank President Bill Clinton, who announced on this day in 2000 that GPS will no longer be restricted to the U.S. military.
WORD OF THE DAY
Isocheim (I-so-kime) — noun
Definition: A line connecting places on the earth having the same mean winter temperature.
Example: I was trying to find a Cracker Barrel, but mistakenly made that left at the isocheim.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Mixed.