The Morning Briefing - April 29, 2016
TRENTON – A week after Gov. Chris Christie rushed to help a teenager trying to get his learner’s permit from an unresponsive MVC office, the governor is now ratcheting up the effort to create friendlier motor vehicle offices. No clue if that nut can ever be cracked, but the governor is now calling for customer training programs throughout the department. That means employees will have to be retrained every year to learn such complex phrases as “Please” and “Thank You.” Also, they must continually learn that “I’m going on break” is not a legitimate excuse to leave customers hanging at the window for 15 minutes.
BAYONNE – Eighth graders were happily taking the PARCC standardized test yesterday, ticking off the correct answers left and right. All was good at the Nicholas Oresko School, until school officials realized they were taking the wrong math test. Parents told CBS that one student alerted the teacher, saying something was wrong because it was just too easy. But teachers are not permitted to look at the test, or provide any help. The principal then announced “a minor glitch.” The kids will have to be retested next Wednesday. One thing is guaranteed: They’ll be taking the right test.
STATEWIDE – If you are one of those types who follow political polls, you would be amazed by this: Republicans in New Jersey like Donald Trump more than Gov. Chris Christie. (Just think about that for a moment.) The latest Rutgers Eagleton poll shows Christie has a 56 percent favorability rating among Republicans, as opposed to Trump, who enjoys 63 percent among the party. Generally speaking, Christie’s numbers are at an all-time low in the state, at 26 percent among the state’s voters. Unclear if he cares.
TRENTON – First came our fascination with Gov. Chris Christie's hostage-like blank stare, now the media is slow-roasting Mary Pat for another facial faux pas. Yesterday, Christie did what good husbands do: Defend his wife from criticism, after claims she supposedly rolled her eyes when GOP presidential smart-aleck Donald Trump said Hillary Clinton was “playing the woman's card.” The governor dismissed all the conjecture as “silliness,” saying: “I've seen the Mary Pat eye-roll for 32 years. That was not an eye roll.” Pressed further by reporters, Christie shot back: “You people are obsessed with stupid stuff.” OK, but as a service to Trump, supporters should stop standing behind him when the cameras roll. Watch it here.
HIGHLAND PARK – If you don't do it first, do it better. Probably why school officials here are making big noise about rolling out what they hope will be New Jersey's premier transgender policy. Absent official state guidelines, about 25 districts have adopted their own to address the rights of transgender students. Besides restroom and locker room access, Highland Park's policy permits student tryouts for any sports team and access to any school facility or organization based on their affirmed gender. BOE president Darcie Cimarusti told N.J. Advance Media that “we have students who are transgender, parents who are transgender and we went to make sure our schools are a welcoming place.” The school board is to vote Monday on the sweeping new policy after a public hearing.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
CURBSIDE – The creator of Mr. Softee's tinny, tinkly jingle, which lured generations of kids to ice cream trucks, has died at age 94. Lester Morton Waas wrote the Mister Softee song, called “Jingle and Chimes,” in 1960, and it made an indelible mark on the collective memory of American children. During his career, Waas wrote more than 970 advertising jingles and started the Procrastinators Club of America as a prank in 1956. Here's a shocker, The New York Times says the Mr. Softee song once had lyrics: “The creamiest dreamiest soft ice cream you get from Mister Softee / Listen for my store on wheels ding-a-ling down the street.” Makes us dream of a double vanilla with rainbow sprinkles. Hear it here.
AT LUNCH – If only Chicken McNuggets were actually batter-dipped chicken. Instead, those McDonald's bestsellers of questionable origin have more than 30 ingredients – quite a few ending in “phosphate” and “nitrate.” Oh, there's a bit of “pulverized chicken-meat” too. But, Crain's Chicago Business says McDonald's is now testing a new McNuggets recipe, minus artificial preservatives, in 140 Oregon and Washington restaurants. The company won't say exactly what is changing, only that the recipe is “simpler” and “parents can feel good” about it. OK. But what are parents supposed to feel now?
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
As the future of America hung in the balance, with the Civil War ripping a huge hole through the economic, social and political fabric of the country, a group of determined, forward-thinking students at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute said, “Hey, America needs another fraternity!” And so the only fraternity founded during the Civil War – Theta Xi – tapped its first keg on this day in 1864.
WORD OF THE DAY
Funambulism (fyoo-NAM-byah-liz-em) - noun
Definition: Tightrope walking
Example: I have a full weekend of funambulism planned.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Jacket.