The Morning Briefing - August 5, 2015
ON THE RAILS - What a time for NJ Transit workers to demand raises, after the agency adopted a 9-percent fare hike and commuters are steamed over chronic delays stemming from 80-year-old electrical lines and crumbling tunnels. But the union calls the agency's latest contract offer "utterly unacceptable," the Record reports. The union demands a 17-percent jump over six years, plus an unrealistic 2-percent cap on what workers pay in healthcare. Perhaps a rail strike would add a whole new layer of excitement for weary commuters, who may wonder why they didn't take that Amway gig and work from the convenience of their own homes. Or opted to learn air conditioning repair at Apex Tech and get their very own free set of tools.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - As Gov. Chis Christie celebrates his ninth place finish in the national polls - earning him a coveted spot in the FOX News debate tomorrow - America is learning an important fact about our governor: Yes, he admits during this whole Planned Parenthood debate that he has used birth control, and not just that roll-the-dice classic known as the "rhythm method." Heck, perhaps our governor even used a condom even more than once, further ignoring his Roman Catholic teachings. Perhaps, it sat in his wallet for over a year. Is that TMI? Let's let voters decide.
ASBURY PARK - Gov. Chris Christie's supporters came out last night in support of his Presidential bid, with NJ.com reporting that a fundraiser raked in $1.3 million from the governor's faithful - likely equal to what Donald Trump has earned this morning on those "Make America Great Again" trucker caps he hawks for $25.
JERSEY CITY - What is the hippest place in New Jersey? Uh, we think we just told you. But, alas, yes, it is Jersey City, according to Yahoo Travel, which reports on the eclectic dining scene, retro dress shops, vegan makeup and overpriced places to oil up your bike chain. Yahoo likens downtown Jersey City to Brooklyn, with "trilby-wearing millennials with waxed beards, who just wanna give back to the neighborhood with an artisanal dog treat shop."
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa - The real money at one Taco Bell is not the plum job as senior cashier. Rather, the cash windfall goes to the guy working in the back at this one Iowa fast food joint, where he was apparently running a methamphetamine lab for all eastern Iowa to enjoy. Cops arrested the Taco Bell employee and one of his buddies early yesterday, as they were lingering around the restaurant at an odd hour. It did not take long to discover the remnants of the makeshift meth lab, just a few feet from the chalupas. Taco Bell's standard response: "Live Mas!"
VICTORY TOWNSHIP, MI. - Do "Beavis & Butt-Head" reruns get a bigger audience than your Township Council meetings? If so, the governing body in this northern Michigan town may have a tasty incentive: Food! Local elected officials spent the first hour of Monday's outdoor public meeting serving hotdogs, salads and soft drinks to residents before launching into the Pledge of Allegiance. Their audience jumped from three people in June to 24 this month. So next month, they're hosting a covered-dish dinner. Could this work in places like Edison? After all, its Municipal Complex sits next to idyllic Lake Papaianni Park. If you feed your constituents, perhaps they'll come - or maybe just start a petition for Chinese food deliveries.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1974 that Joan Jett forms the rock group "Runaways." Blackhearts wait patiently.
FROM THE MAIL BAG
NEWARK - The Morning Briefing had plenty of fun yesterday mocking Culture Club's appearance last night at NJPAC and wondering who in their right minds would drop $119.50 for a front row seat to see the likes of Boy George. We also drew contrasts with legitimate rock bands, like the Who. Then, late last night, we learned a prominent, unnamed Jaffe Communications staffer and his unnamed fiancée snuck off to see the show, prompting this early morning anonymous note in the mailbag:
"Dear MB Editor:
This MB reader wants to know "Who are you?" to slam 1980's cultural icon Boy George. "Who, Who, Who Are You?" Maybe if you weren't so wasted during your teenage years, you'd know good music when you heard it. At least Boy George kept his shirt on during his sold out concert at NJPAC in Newark last night. The same can't be said for an aging Roger Daltrey, who doesn't seem to realize that he didn't die before he got old."
WORD OF THE DAY
Jentacular - adjective
Definition: pertaining to breakfast
Example: "I wasted my morning in jentacular confabulations."