The Morning Briefing - August 4, 2015
NEWARK – Any kid growing up with the Who or Led Zeppelin still can’t erase that first sight of Boy George, circa 1982, when Culture Club pranced over the pond and every radio station began playing that braindead song, “Do you really want to hurt me?” Well, get ready for your ears to bleed, once again, as the band takes the stage at 7:30 p.m. tonight at NJPAC. It costs $119.50 for front row seats? Do you really want to make me cry?
STATEWIDE – Another sign of the quickly fleeting summer: we’ve already reached the 32nd annual “National Night Out,” in which cops across the state are planning events to show they are just normal people doing a job. There are festivals all over the place, beginning around 6 p.m. or so, when you can actually reach out and touch a cop. Check it out; bet there will be ice cream.
LAWRENCEVILLE – When most parents sit up at night and worry about their teens, the illegal purchasing of lottery tickets probably isn’t top of mind. But, hey, the law says you have to be 18 years old to buy one of those thrilling scratch-offs. And that is why state lottery officials and the Council on Compulsive Gambling of New Jersey Inc. are opening the annual awareness campaign titled "Not 18 Yet? No Bet." They’ll be at an Acme in Lawrenceville to remind everyone about the law, again.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – As Gov. Chris Christie is praying for an invite to the FOX News debate on Thursday, he used a “speed dating” debate last night to show he is a friendly guy from Jersey who is serious about cutting spending. He still wants to raise the retirement age for Social Security, and eliminate the benefit for those able to earn more than $200,000 in retirement income. (Unclear how this wins the senior vote.) The governor is also touting his tremendous bipartisan work in New Jersey, where Democrats are now calling for his resignation because he hasn’t shown up for work.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Inane videos by desperate GOP candidates for President have become a hallmark of this strange campaign season. Presidential scholars of the future will note Sen. Lindsay Graham taking a bat to his cell phone, after Donald Trump gave out his cell number. And now we have Sen. Ted Cruz wrapping an uncooked bacon strip around a machine gun, securing it with foil paper, and shooting a target using four magazines of 5.56 ammo, until the gun is so hot that the bacon was nice and crispy. “In Texas, we cook bacon a little differently than most folks,” Cruz then tweeted. Somehow, Gov. Chris Christie is trailing this guy in the polls.
TRENTON - When Nikhil Badlani, an 11-year-old West Orange boy, was hit by a car and killed in 2011 his corneas and heart valves gave the gift of sight and the gift of life to others. The boy’s legacy will grow even more today when Acting Governor Kim Guadagno signs the “STOP for Nikhil Safety Pledge,” legislation that will require state Motor Vehicle Commission employees to ask whether applicants are aware of the dangers of failing to follow traffic laws. The MVC wants drivers to think of Nikhil before zipping through that stop sign.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
CLINTON, Mass. – Don’t be caught chewing on a drumstick in Clinton, where a local lady may scream at you and dump the whole KFC bucket on your head. Heck, it could happen, after she spent $2,500 getting a chicken fitted with a prosthetic leg. The Telegram & Gazette reports the woman, specializing in “chicken rehabilitation,” has retained the services of a Tufts “avian orthopedic surgeon” to amputate the damaged leg and then construct a fake one for hobbling around the coop. Why all this? Because, the woman says, a one-legged chicken would be euthanized, which, we guess, is, uh… bad?
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
What a day New York Met Joel Youngblood had on Aug. 4, 1982. He hit a single in the third inning at Wrigley Field in Chicago. Then, he was traded to the Expos, where he hit a single in the seventh inning that night in Philadelphia.
WORD OF THE DAY
Oxter – noun
Definition: another word for armpit.
Example: Please remove your right oxter, please.
Note: Oxter is not a creature that is half ox, half otter.