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The Morning Briefing - August 6, 2015

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Two hours of debate won’t be nearly enough time for voters to understand the nuances of Gov. Chris Christie, as opposed to the nine other Presidential hopefuls taking center stage 9 p.m. tonight for the first FOX News debate. Interesting to see who attacks frontrunner Donald Trump, and who ignores him as the flash-in-the-pan candidate he will ultimately become. We can’t expect to learn much about these candidates during this crowded round-robin, sure to be filled with quips, quotes, slogans and other banal one-liners. But, we may be able to pick out the real not-ready-for-prime-time players, besides Trump. Liberal blue-staters should call their local cable provider to help find FOX News on their dial.

ON THE AIRWAVES – There’s never the perfect time to retire, but we really wish Jon Stewart was able to hang around for just another day so he could have a field day with this debate on tomorrow’s Daily Show. But – to the glee of the many Republicans he has painfully excoriated over 16 years as America’s favorite liberal satirist – Stewart will be leaving his anchor chair today. (Backstreets magazine reports Bruce Springsteen is the last guest.) Can we really have “Indecision 2016” without him? Will the “Mess O’Potamia” stay as messy?

ON THE AIRWAVES – Wow, we’re not used to Jimmy Fallon going for the jugular, as the happy-go-lucky, aw-shucks host of the Tonight Show. But check out this dig against our governor from Tuesday night: “Pro: Fox News promises to keep the debate balanced,” Fallon said. “Con: Which is why they’re putting Chris Christie on one side of the stage and everyone else on the other.” Hey, doesn’t Jersey have exclusive rights to poke fun at our own governor?

JERSEY CITY – Former Gov. Jim McGreevey figured getting involved with prison re-entry programs would be the furthest thing from the take-no-prisoners world of Trenton politics. He’s certainly right, but he still got kicked out of a community meeting Tuesday night, as African-American leaders seethed over the location for a new prison re-entry center, the Jersey Journal reports. McGreevey, who runs the program, showed up to speak and perhaps exude some of the charm that got him into Drumthwacket. But no one seemed interested in all the fancy words, with one person suggesting a security escort out the door. McGreevey told the Jersey Journal he sensed no hostility, adding, “People have the right to have a discussion.”

NEWARK – Location. Location. Location. That real estate rule-of-thumb is just as crucial for office proximity to Newark Mayor Ras Baraka’s chambers in City Hall, determining power, access and influence. So it’s no surprise Baraka’s chief of staff – his brother Amiri “Middy” Baraka – has an office comfortably nearby. What might be surprising is who occupies the office on the other side of the mayor’s chamber – 33-year-old Tai Cooper. Another exclusive for NewarkInc., which explains who Cooper is and what she does for the people of Newark. Read it here.

MAPLEWOOD – The court is apparently giving no breaks to a former Columbia High School teacher charged with having sex with six boys at school. There is some damning clothing (getting a weird Monica Lewinsky flashback here) that the teacher did not want shown in court. Apparently, it is the same clothing she was wearing during one of the frequent trysts, joyfully captured on cell phone video. A judge denied her request, NJ.com reports, as the court hears this 40-count indictment. Expect to hear a lot about “frontal lobe syndrome” – her apparent medical ailment that prompted this mess.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

SANTA ANA, Calif. – We’ll never know if it was the real Tarzan who climbed a tree and tried to break into the monkey exhibit at the Santa Ana Zoo on Tuesday morning. Even though he identified himself to cops as Tarzan as they were booking him on trespassing charges, we are still not 100 percent sure of his identity.  See, they don’t issue proper identification cards in the jungle – unlike here in New Jersey – so this may be a tough case to prove. The Santa Ana cops seem confident though, telling the City News that Tarzan was shirtless, plastered in mud, and high on methamphetamine. Let’s see if Jane comes to bail out Tarzan. She always has a good explanation.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1962 that Jamaica becomes independent after 300 years of British rule – marked by many mellow celebrations across the land.

WORD OF THE DAY

Pauciloquent – adjective

Definition – uttering just a few words; brief in speech

Example – You can bet none of the GOP debate candidates tonight will be pauciloquent.