Master Class #71: Don't Get Spun! A Guide to Political Conventions
It is that time of year: A whirlwind of balloons, partisan chants, and promises so shiny they could blind a teleprompter. But amidst the confetti, lurks a hidden foe: spin! Politicians, fear not! Here's your survival guide, courtesy of the PR pros at Jaffe:
Dish 1: The Economy is Booming... (Except for the Part Where It Isn't)
Symptoms: Politicians brag about a "record-breaking" economy. Fact-checkers choke on lukewarm coffee.
Cure: Ask yourself, "Can I afford that jumbo hot dog?" If not, the "economic boom" might be reserved just for the wealthy.
Dish 2: Our Opponent is a Literal Gremlin with Bad Breath
Symptoms: Demonizing speeches filled with more buzzwords than a B-movie script.
Cure: Imagine the Presidential opponent in a wacky costume (think fruit hat). Laughter, it turns out, is a great disinfectant when candidates are referred to as orange orangutans or half-dead geezers.
Dish 3: We're United! (Except for That Guy Who Booed)
Symptoms: Staged displays of party harmony that wouldn't fool a kindergarten play.
Cure: Look for the lone dissenter, looking constipated with the arms folded. Every "united front" has a rogue sock. It's oddly comforting.
Finally: Remember, conventions are like buffets – lots of options, but some items have been sitting around and leave a bad taste. Use your critical thinking fork, and you'll navigate the spin with a smile (and maybe a Tums).
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
