The Jaffe Briefing - December 9, 2022
TRENTON – Do you need to own a home, be married or graduate from college to operate a car correctly? The answer is an obvious “no,” yet the auto insurance companies still use ridiculous metrics to establish how much you must pay. There’s now a bill banging around the Statehouse that would finally stop insurers from using crazy criteria, which has prevented many would-be motorists from securing decent car insurance. The law – requiring insurance companies to only use a person’s driving record to ascertain a rate – is well timed. Most of New Jersey’s 1.1 million motorists are blissfully unaware that their rates are getting jacked by $125 next month because of a new state law raising minimums for liability insurance, making unaffordable insurance even more, uh, unaffordable.
STATEWIDE – Yes, by now we all know the ref beats his wife. You’ve been chanting that for years whenever we try to take the kiddies to any type of local sports event. But now some state lawmakers are fed up with all the crudeness and violence. NJ.com reports of an exploding epidemic of bad behavior among fans, as parents have become obsessed with their child’s so-called sports “career” as part of the $19 billion youth sports “industry.” Coaches are heckled unmercilessly, pre-pubescent athletes are taunted and fists have been flying. Assemblywoman Vicky Flynn (R-Monmouth) wants to increase penalties for threats and assaults. If you wait at an umpire’s car to scream about his call, Flynn wants you to pay dearly. If you threaten to behead an 11-year-old for missing a jump shot, same deal. And if you gang tackle a volunteer football coach who mistakenly brings in the kicking team, expect jail time, if such a bill is signed.
STATEWIDE – Judge Elihu Smails famously said, “Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.” But that’s no real solution to the fact that standardized student test scores in New Jersey nosedived in almost every grade, subject area, and demographic given in the last school year, New Jersey Monitor reports. No surprise that the culprit is COVID-19, with 1.4 million students forced to somehow and suddenly learn from home. These sad test results are a key indication of all the learning loss. Brace yourself for these results: Just 49% of students passed the language arts portion of the test, 35% passed math, and 23% passed science. And, get this, more than half of New Jersey’s high school juniors tested in March didn’t meet the basic requirements to get their diplomas next June. The governor wants to spend nearly $270 million for “education recovery.” Move fast. These kids will move on and that ditch won’t dig itself.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Banging your head against a wall for one hour burns 150 calories.
NEWARK – Oh, the irony. Even long-awaited, much-delayed renovations at the airport are further delayed. Despite the fact that Gov. Phil Murphy toured Terminal A on Nov. 15 to celebrate the $2.7 billion project – earning front-page headlines – the big opening has been kicked to next month because of some final certifications, or whatever. The big news on the tarmac was that Terminal A was to reopen by Dec. 8, dazzling future generations of passengers with the latest and greatest things you can buy in an airport. NJ.com, which is keeping close watch, notes this is the fourth time that the opening of the terminal hasn’t taken off – like that “express” flight to O’Hare.
STATEWIDE – There are many ways to get scammed this holiday season. Heck, you’ve probably been scammed five times since you woke up. But the Federal Trade Commission says there is a real and growing problem with gift card scams, with $148 million reported lost last year from 40,000 people. Scammers act like they are government officials or big business, selling bogus cards or ones that are already wiped clean of any value. Top targets: Target, Apple, Google Play and Walmart. Ah, the holidays…
IN THE MEDIA
KANSAS CITY, MO. - Is it ok to lie to the press? Apparently at City Hall in Kansas City, where the former PR guy is suing the city after he was demoted for allegedly refusing to give bogus information to the Kansas City Star. He claims the city manager says that making stuff up should be a standard part of the media strategy. After all, it is a lot easier than taking the time to assemble and present the correct information. The PR guy refused, and claimed he was then reassigned to some other municipal department somewhere in Sector G. The Kansas City Star reports a breaking point: a press release about how many miles of road lanes would be resurfaced. The original press release draft reported "nearly 300 miles." By the time the city manager had finished his editing, his tweet gushed "400+ miles planned for this spring and summer!"
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
BERLIN – Seen any missing bull sperm? Then the police want to have a word with you. Authorities say there are 60 containers of bull sperm that were grabbed from the small town of Olfen, 56 miles northeast of Cologne. Police issued a statement earlier this week, saying that bull sperm needs to be supercooled with liquid nitrogen at –320 Fahrenheit or it will be of no use to anyone. It is unclear if the thieves are aware of such a requirement, prompting plenty of local concern about the future of all this stolen seed. It was also noted that securing so much bull sperm takes plenty of time and effort, but police did not offer details about how, specifically, it was acquired or by whom, despite plenty of media inquiry.
WORD OF THE WEEK
Celerity – [suh-LAIR-uh-tee] – noun
Definition: Swiftness of motion or action
Example: Controlling the basketball with celerity is the key to RU’s chance of beating Seton Hall on Sunday. #DecktheHall
WIT OF THE WEEK
“In my opinion, one of the greatest things — if not THE greatest thing — about the American political process is that every four years it gives me the unadulterated joy of watching Republican convention delegates attempt to dance.”
- Dave Barry
BIDEN BLURB
“This is not your father’s Republican Party. This is a different breed — a different breed of cat, for real.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Seasonal
TRENTON – Do you need to own a home, be married or graduate from college to operate a car correctly? The answer is an obvious “no,” yet the auto insurance companies still use ridiculous metrics to establish how much you must pay. There’s now a bill banging around the Statehouse that would finally stop insurers from using crazy criteria, which has prevented many would-be motorists from securing decent car insurance. The law – requiring insurance companies to only use a person’s driving record to ascertain a rate – is well timed. Most of New Jersey’s 1.1 million motorists are blissfully unaware that their rates are getting jacked by $125 next month because of a new state law raising minimums for liability insurance, making unaffordable insurance even more, uh, unaffordable.
STATEWIDE – Yes, by now we all know the ref beats his wife. You’ve been chanting that for years whenever we try to take the kiddies to any type of local sports event. But now some state lawmakers are fed up with all the crudeness and violence. NJ.com reports of an exploding epidemic of bad behavior among fans, as parents have become obsessed with their child’s so-called sports “career” as part of the $19 billion youth sports “industry.” Coaches are heckled unmercilessly, pre-pubescent athletes are taunted and fists have been flying. Assemblywoman Vicky Flynn (R-Monmouth) wants to increase penalties for threats and assaults. If you wait at an umpire’s car to scream about his call, Flynn wants you to pay dearly. If you threaten to behead an 11-year-old for missing a jump shot, same deal. And if you gang tackle a volunteer football coach who mistakenly brings in the kicking team, expect jail time, if such a bill is signed.
STATEWIDE – Judge Elihu Smails famously said, “Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.” But that’s no real solution to the fact that standardized student test scores in New Jersey nosedived in almost every grade, subject area, and demographic given in the last school year, New Jersey Monitor reports. No surprise that the culprit is COVID-19, with 1.4 million students forced to somehow and suddenly learn from home. These sad test results are a key indication of all the learning loss. Brace yourself for these results: Just 49% of students passed the language arts portion of the test, 35% passed math, and 23% passed science. And, get this, more than half of New Jersey’s high school juniors tested in March didn’t meet the basic requirements to get their diplomas next June. The governor wants to spend nearly $270 million for “education recovery.” Move fast. These kids will move on and that ditch won’t dig itself.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Banging your head against a wall for one hour burns 150 calories.
NEWARK – Oh, the irony. Even long-awaited, much-delayed renovations at the airport are further delayed. Despite the fact that Gov. Phil Murphy toured Terminal A on Nov. 15 to celebrate the $2.7 billion project – earning front-page headlines – the big opening has been kicked to next month because of some final certifications, or whatever. The big news on the tarmac was that Terminal A was to reopen by Dec. 8, dazzling future generations of passengers with the latest and greatest things you can buy in an airport. NJ.com, which is keeping close watch, notes this is the fourth time that the opening of the terminal hasn’t taken off – like that “express” flight to O’Hare.
STATEWIDE – There are many ways to get scammed this holiday season. Heck, you’ve probably been scammed five times since you woke up. But the Federal Trade Commission says there is a real and growing problem with gift card scams, with $148 million reported lost last year from 40,000 people. Scammers act like they are government officials or big business, selling bogus cards or ones that are already wiped clean of any value. Top targets: Target, Apple, Google Play and Walmart. Ah, the holidays…
IN THE MEDIA
KANSAS CITY, MO. - Is it ok to lie to the press? Apparently at City Hall in Kansas City, where the former PR guy is suing the city after he was demoted for allegedly refusing to give bogus information to the Kansas City Star. He claims the city manager says that making stuff up should be a standard part of the media strategy. After all, it is a lot easier than taking the time to assemble and present the correct information. The PR guy refused, and claimed he was then reassigned to some other municipal department somewhere in Sector G. The Kansas City Star reports a breaking point: a press release about how many miles of road lanes would be resurfaced. The original press release draft reported "nearly 300 miles." By the time the city manager had finished his editing, his tweet gushed "400+ miles planned for this spring and summer!"
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
BERLIN – Seen any missing bull sperm? Then the police want to have a word with you. Authorities say there are 60 containers of bull sperm that were grabbed from the small town of Olfen, 56 miles northeast of Cologne. Police issued a statement earlier this week, saying that bull sperm needs to be supercooled with liquid nitrogen at –320 Fahrenheit or it will be of no use to anyone. It is unclear if the thieves are aware of such a requirement, prompting plenty of local concern about the future of all this stolen seed. It was also noted that securing so much bull sperm takes plenty of time and effort, but police did not offer details about how, specifically, it was acquired or by whom, despite plenty of media inquiry.
WORD OF THE WEEK
Celerity – [suh-LAIR-uh-tee] – noun
Definition: Swiftness of motion or action
Example: Controlling the basketball with celerity is the key to RU’s chance of beating Seton Hall on Sunday. #DecktheHall
WIT OF THE WEEK
“In my opinion, one of the greatest things — if not THE greatest thing — about the American political process is that every four years it gives me the unadulterated joy of watching Republican convention delegates attempt to dance.”
- Dave Barry
BIDEN BLURB
“This is not your father’s Republican Party. This is a different breed — a different breed of cat, for real.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Seasonal