The Jaffe Briefing - September 23, 2022
OCEANPORT – “No2Netflix” simply won’t chill. The local resident group, who refuses to be individually identified, is throwing darts at a plan to redevelop 300 or so acres of land in the former Fort Monmouth into a film studio for Netflix. The group claims that Netflix, as well as others in the entertainment industry, have “used falsehoods, dubious claims, and outright lies” to “gain millions of dollars at the expense of the local community” in the form of tax credits. Meanwhile, business groups strongly disagree, saying Netflix will be a big economic driver as New Jersey evolves into another Hollywood, hopefully without all the self-obsessed jerks demanding mineral water.
TRENTON – Not excited by the state’s new sex ed curriculum? Well, tough, state education officials say, as they threaten “disciplinary action” against any school district that opts to forgo the updated lesson plan, the Record reports. Besides local school leaders facing this discipline, which could perhaps mean no more baked goods in the break room, parents would also require a special waiver to extricate their cherubs from class, signing letters to the principal that explain how the new sex ed “conflicts with their conscience or sincerely held moral or religious beliefs.” The big concern? The new curriculum introduces mature sexual terms and discussions about gender in earlier grades than previous years. Too soon for some parents. Too late for any kid with access to the Internet.
STATEWIDE – After a way too short summer, teachers are back in front of New Jersey’s classrooms, staring down a new class of kids and a calendar that shows only 10 months to go until sweet freedom, once again. But at least there are all those great health benefits, right? Right!? Well, um, not exactly, as the teacher health plans will be increasing more than 15% for next year. There’s little sympathy from town hall and the county building, wherever that may be, where these grumbling government workers are looking at health cost increases of around 23%. The big losers? Taxpayers, who cover most of those premiums.
BRIEFING BREATHER
"Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends with "mt."
STATEWIDE - In a state where the pork roll/Taylor ham debate rages ad nauseum at diner counters from Fort Lee to Fort Dix, you might get the impression that our sustenance relies solely on a daily deluge of fried carbs. But now comes word that New Jersey has earned the unofficial title of the most gym-obsessed state. The experts at Fitness Volt stopped planking long enough to analyze Google Trends data over the past 12 months. They discovered that New Jerseyans ranked first in search levels for “pilates,” second for “gym” and sixth for “yoga near me.” A celebration – complete with some of New Jersey’s world-famous bagels and breweries – would seem in order.
IN THE MEDIA
BROAD & MARKET – We often hear how newspapers are in peril, discarded somewhere in the dustbin with the payphones and 8-tracks. But we did not expect the future of this industry to hinge on how the paperboys are paid. All the newsies have been considered “independent contractors” for 189 years, since the time the evening edition was being delivered to Broad and Market by horse. But now the state wants all these “freelancers” to be full-fledged employees with all the rights thereof. That prompted the NJ Press Association to pen a rare op-ed, saying such a move “threatens the existence” of some newspapers and would spur another round of painful layoffs, if that could be possible. The op-ed states: “Newspapers desperately need Gov. Phil Murphy to step in and act to preserve the state’s newspapers.” For the sake of the newsboy, and all the rest of the operation, we certainly hope for this divine intervention.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
MUNICH – Oktoberfest is coming, and bring your credit card. After two years of a pandemic, the celebration is back. Sure, there will still be those heavy beer mugs, gigantic pretzels, tight, gravity-defying blouses and plenty of sloshy singing on the long wooden benches until the wee hours. There will also be very expensive brew – inflation is causing a 15% spike in those famous liter beers as supply chain woes try to douse all the fun. Expect to now pay $14 per beer, equivalent to two pints at the local Applebee’s – still well worth it, as you drink and sing in your favorite lederhosen, toasting everything imaginable.
THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
I was allowed to stay awake on this day in 1982 to watch the 34th annual Emmys, honoring Hill Street Blues, Barney Miller and Alan Alda.
WORD OF THE WEEK
Laconic – [luh-KAH-nik] – adjective
Definition: Uses few words in speech or writing
Example: A laconic example
WIT OF THE WEEK
"We need Donald Trump to fix this. Is Donald Trump a messiah? No, he’s just a man, a man who wants to give back to his country…So, of course, let’s make America great again, but let’s make America, America again."
-Chachi
BIDEN BLURB
“Either they win or they were cheated. And that’s where the MAGA Republicans are today.”
-Joe Biden
WEEKEND WEATHER IN A WORD
Beauty