The Jaffe Briefing - June 10, 2022

TRENTON – Not from Trenton? Then, shut up. That’s the gist of a proposed resolution before the City Council, banning anyone from outside of the city to speak at public meetings. The Trentonian reports on the latest wacky missive from West Ward Councilwoman Robin Vaughn, demanding that a residents-only measure be prepared and fast-tracked for consideration at the governing body’s meetings next week. Under the proposal, the city would only allow public opinion from residents, business owners and taxpayers with a “particularized interest in a governmental issue at hand” in New Jersey’s capital. Of course, anyone embracing the First Amendment is appalled. Critics call the measure an unconstitutional infringement on people’s freedom of speech that could turn Trenton into a “hermit kingdom.” Here’s another way to describe it: Kafkaesque. (If we were allowed to have an opinion on the matter.)

TRENTON – When you think child labor laws, you quickly think of turn-of-the-century kids slaving away in coal factories. Well, it’s a very different time, of course, and also time to revisit the state’s antiquated laws designed to protect children from abuse. The Assembly Labor Committee, for one, believes it is high time that the current generation be extracted from Xbox, venture out into the neighborhood and get some sort of job. Under a proposed bill, kids would be allowed to work longer hours, paperwork would be reduced and parental consent requirements eliminated. The law hasn’t been updated since 1940, Politico reports, and with the current workforce crisis, the state should not be holding back minors who actually care to earn a few bucks. Politico notes business groups support the move; there’s no one currently speaking out against it. So get to work, junior.

BRIEFING BREATHER

There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – New Jersey now has early voting, in case you didn’t know, for those who want to go to the polls, but don’t want to go on Election Day. While terrifically convenient, New Jersey Monitor reports that early voting is not catching on as hoped. For this week’s primary election, early in-person voting comprised only 3% of the total votes cast. The turnout was so pitiful, in fact, that some election watchers are worried about the secrecy of the ballot in some specific cases. Take one sleepy voting district in one sleepy county. Political consultants could drill down pretty deeply in voter databases to pinpoint who voted for what, which is enormously helpful when attempting to drive “your” voters to the polls.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

NORTH PORT, FL. – In the latest “Florida man” news, a local man mistook an alligator for a dog outside the Warm Mineral Springs Motel, while enjoying his morning smoke, before being attacked by the seven-foot-long reptile on Tuesday. The man thought he heard a dog growling behind some bushes, saw what appeared to be a dog leash (and not a gator tail) and, of course, felt the burning need to go check on Fido. Quickly, the gator latched onto his right leg and tore part of it off. Unclear what exactly happened next, as this story is reported by the dogged journalists from People magazine, but we can tell you a deputy responding to yet another morning incident at this motel heard his screams and rushed to the scene. The victim was sent to the hospital while the alligator was handed over to the state’s wildlife folks. The motel owner, in his own medical opinion, tells People that the man “is going to be okay.”

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It’s all about the Rangers these days. But not on this day in 2000 when the Devils beat the Dallas Stars to win the Stanley Cup.

WORD OF THE DAY

Nefelibata – [ne-fe-lE-‘ba-ta] – noun

Definition: One who lives in the clouds of their own imagination or dreams; one who does not obey the conventions of society, literature or art.

Example: I don’t currently earn a paycheck, but I’m one great nefelibata.

WIT OF THE DAY

“I will be as harsh as truth, and as uncompromising as justice. On this subject, I do not wish to think, or to speak, or write, with moderation. ... I am in earnest - I will not equivocate - I will not excuse - I will not retreat a single inch – And I will be heard.”

-Justice John Paul Stevens

BIDEN BLURB

“Jill and I had the great honor of standing on that stage, looking across at one of the great justices, Justice Stewart.”

-Joe Biden, mistakenly referring to Justice John Paul Stevens, who swore him in as vice president

WEATHER IN A WORD

Perfect