The Jaffe Briefing - June 9, 2022
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – For political pundits, consider it Rocky II. The most highly-anticipated battle this November will be a rematch between Rep. Tom Malinowski and Tom Kean, the winner of a seven-candidate GOP primary for the 7th Congressional District. You may recall Malinowski was the last one standing in their previous bloody slugfest, with the congressman winning by less than 1 percentage point two years ago. Ever since, Kean has been doing plenty of push-ups and sit-ups and the Cook Political Report has taken notice: Giving a newly-buffed Kean a slight edge in the November race, as the GOP hammers every living, breathing Democrat for inflation, the shaky stock market, overseas strife and all societal ills, previously and current.
BRIEFING BREATHER
3.6 cans of Spam are consumed each second
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Would you rather be represented in Congress by a former punk rocker who now owns a yacht company or a belligerent gym owner who once killed a teen in a drunken crash? Republicans in the 3rd Congressional District opted on Tuesday for the yacht company owner, Bob Healey, to run against Rep. Andy Kim. Cook Political Report is weighing in again, saying that Healey can raise enough cash to truly compete against Kim, as a GOP wave is expected to run red through the midterms. Healey is already painting Kim as a walking, talking Joe Biden clone, blaming him for record inflation, rising crime, porous borders and a radical “woke” agenda in public schools. Meanwhile, expect Democrats to prominently show all those images of Kim physically sweeping up in the Capitol, after the GOP-led riot last Jan. 6.
TUCKERTON – A message to the local fire department: don’t respond to any more fires. That’s the message from the Borough Council, ordering its embattled, all-volunteer fire department to go away. The Asbury Park Press says the state found the Tuckerton F.D. to be “in non-compliance with certain rules and standards on fire protection.” Town leaders have an emergency meeting planned for this afternoon to figure out who would actually respond to the next fire, and, let’s assume, will be quite eager to enter into a contract with a neighboring town. Last fall, borough leaders launched an investigation into the fire department after a “disturbance” last August between the local fire chief, the department’s former president, and the fire chief’s father — a local firefighter, former chief and former mayor. Lots of questions now about the culture within the department, where there’s been plenty of litigation and nastiness. Perhaps, through all of this in-fighting, fires have been fought too, one would assume.
WESTHAMPTON – So desperate were volunteers at the Burlington County Animal Shelter to find Dash a “fur-ever family” that they resorted to posting photos of the 6-year-old American pit bull terrier on pizza boxes at local restaurants. After waiting 20 months, the longest resident at the shelter is finally heading home, reports FOX 29 News. A young couple from Mount Laurel adopted Dash, perhaps after an evening of pepperoni pizza and good conversation. They describe Dash as a playful pooch with a sweet disposition. Dash is no doubt enjoying an endless supply of belly rubs and pizza crusts.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
COPENHAGEN, Denmark – Want a creative name for your kid? Look no further than the famous Ikea catalogue, offering up one-of-a-kind baby names like Malm, Kivik or Trotten. Those also happen to be names of flat-pack home products, with some assembly required, available across the planet. Ikea has unintentionally generated a massive “name bank” with more than 800 unique furniture listings instead of product numbers since 1948. Many are unaware, but Ikea has named its products after Swedish towns, lakes and other geographical features. With the Scandinavian country registering the births of 56,060 babies last year, or 3,081 more than in 2020, Ikea better start expanding its product offerings for new parents eager for something truly unique.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2011 that six women in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia were arrested for practicing their driving in an empty car lot.
WORD OF THE DAY
Evanescent – [ev-uh-NESS-unt] – adjective
Definition: Vanishes quickly like a vapor.
Example: The joy of a Mets victory is evanescent; there’s always another game tomorrow.
WIT OF THE DAY
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one.”
-George Gobel
BIDEN BLURB
“The fact is America is in a stronger economic position today than just about any other country in the world. Independent experts have even projected that the U.S. economy could grow faster than China’s economy this year. That hasn’t happened since 1976.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Drying