The Jaffe Briefing - March 28, 2022

TRENTON – Upwards of 1 million New Jerseyans are college dropouts, NJ.com reports.  Yeah, that number seems high – it would be one of nine of us. But let’s just assume there are many, many people who started school, but dropped out because of tuition, balancing life or just thought it was a big, fat, expensive waste of time.  The state now wants to find all these people, budgeting $3 million to help them graduate. And get this: people could earn college credit from life experiences, like working, or volunteering or just living life. This sudden windfall of free college credit might be enough incentive for people to re-enroll.  So, do you sell pot?  Three credits in “entrepreneurship.” Live in your parent’s basement, sustaining on canned soup and beer? Three credits: “culinary arts.” Sit in the park and eat shrooms? Three credits: “Environmental Sustainability.”  Opportunities abound in New Jersey!

TRENTON – This morning, your teenager dragged himself out of his room, muttered something that could have either been “good morning” or “I have no socks,” and then walked out into the early-morning air, heading to the school bus, we can only assume.  Yes, our groggy, surly teens need to get up very early to get to high school on time. And now state officials want to be their best friends: Introducing a bill that would require classes to start after 8:30 a.m., beginning in the 2024-25 school year. Why? Concern about mental health after two years of the pandemic. Gov. Phil Murphy tells Politico that he is open to the idea, as well. A suggested next step: The professional workday in New Jersey should not begin until 10:30-ish.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Cough, rough and though don't rhyme even though their last four letters are the same.

TRENTON – With the many elections held in New Jersey every year, and a tight labor market, it is getting increasingly harder to find poll workers – willing to spend a very, very long day sitting in a polling place, awaiting voters and chit-chatting with other bored people who actively debate if the wall clock is slowing. And so, once again, the state is digging deep – now offering $300 a day for those willing to take on hours of clock-watching inaction. It will cost taxpayers another $7 million to sweeten the pot, as the daily wage raises from $200. And, hopefully, $300 will be the magic number to get retirees, college kids and others eager to accept this work throughout the year, as more election days loom.

STATEWIDE – Hmm. Sen. Ed Durr may be on to something. Gov. Phil Murphy isn’t just ignoring a proposed bill from the rookie Republican senator, who is calling for gas tax rebates of $500 for each household earning less than $250,000 a year. Murphy even went as far as to say the idea is “worthy of debate,” adding the idea “isn’t a crazy” one. Gas is now selling in the state for $4.21 a gallon, on average, so any proposal should be considered, as voters expect an answer.  But assume the governor finds a solution on the friendly Democratic side because the Democrats need to be the heroes, not a GOP back-bencher. Perhaps the governor will throw the real support behind Democratic legislation, offering $501 rebates.

Thank You Peacocks!

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ATHENS, Ala. – Many in this town couldn’t figure out why the front of the middle school was adorned with a Cold War-era missile that could carry a nuclear warhead to foreign land.  Nor was there any real popularity around the tank-like rocket launcher that sat outside Athens Middle School since the 1970s. Both of these relics, donated to the school’s ROTC program, are being mercifully removed, handed over to the Alabama Veterans Museum and Archives. The school’s ROTC program is sad to see these weapons of mass death leaving the school grounds, telling The News Courier that “cadets spent many days and nights huddled around the launcher during training, socializing or simply waiting for rides home.” This time, perhaps a park bench could serve as a suitable replacement.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Wow! No one saw this coming. On this day in 1995, Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovette split.

WORD OF THE DAY

Puppet – [/ˈpʌpət/] – noun

Definition: A person or an organization that is controlled by another person or organization

Example: I’m getting really tired of all these puppet regimes.

WIT OF THE DAY

"To get people out of their misery, out of this genocide, that is the main reason, the motive and purpose of the military operation that we began in Donbas and Ukraine.”

-Vladimir Putin

BIDEN BLURB

“A dictator bent on rebuilding an empire will never erase a people’s love for liberty. Brutality will never grind down their will to be free. Ukraine will never be a victory for Russia.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Brisk