The Jaffe Briefing - March 2, 2022
NEWARK – The feds aren’t the only ones who can impose sanctions on Russia. That, at least, is the thinking of the City Council, expected to vote today on a resolution that would shutter the local Lukoil stations. TAPInto Newark reports the gas stations are a subsidiary of one of the largest oil companies that just so happens to be based in Moscow. Unclear if a governing body can pull these licenses based solely on the fact that uber-wealthy Russian oligarchs are somehow connected. Also unclear if such a move is more hurtful to the Lukoil employees, most of whom, we assume, are not connected to uber-wealthy Russian oligarchs. But the message from the City Council is clear, standing in support of Ukraine.
SPRINGFIELD – Likely the worst place in America could be found in a squat brick building in Springfield, tucked next to the town library and a municipal parking lot on Center Street. And usually there was a line of fuming motorists out the front door, as cops would patrol the lot, watching those parking meters tick, for those lucky enough to find a space. Yeah, we are talking about that pit of hell known as the MVC office in Springfield, based in a woefully-inadequate space, filled with simmering people, surly workers and absolutely no one willing to let you borrow a pen. Well, we can report, the Springfield MVC is no more, gloriously shuttered last month. State officials mercifully opened a big new center on Route 22 east, featuring clean, new chairs, fully-operational light bulbs and the square footage to allow all waiting customers to stand inside the building. Finally, a ribbon-cutting ceremony we’d find time to attend.
BRIEFING BREATHER
The most commonly shoplifted book: The Bible
STATEWIDE – Despite America’s deeply scarred history of race relations, you may be surprised to learn that lynching someone is still not a federal crime. Sen. Cory Booker is trying to change that, finally, with a no-brainer bill that would classify lynching as a crime under the federal hate crime statute. NJ.com reports NAACP statistics noting that at least 3,446 Black people were lynched from 1882 to 1968, with about 200 efforts in Congress through 1986 to address such racialized violence. All failed.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
LIBERAL, Kan. — Lots of people hate liberals. And especially liberals from Liberal, Kan. And even worse? Liberals from Liberal who win the traditional “Pancake Day Race.” Whitney Hay won the U.S. leg of the race in Liberal on Tuesday with a time of 1:07, KSNW-TV reports. And what the heck is this? Contestants must carry a pancake in a frying pan and flip it at the beginning and end of the 415-yard race. The event began in Olney, England in the 15th century. In 1950, Liberal challenged Olney to an international competition. These pancakes, we are told, are traditionally eaten to kick off lent. Liberally.
ALL OVER – Major League Baseball has cancelled Opening Day, as rich owners and rich players squabble over who should be richer. No one at the bargaining tables seems to notice that kids today are not watching three-hour baseball games on TV. And parents are not clamoring to take them to games, where they would need to plunk down hundreds of dollars for an afternoon of watching rich people stand around the outfield, as other rich people try to hit a ball. Either MLB wakes up and ends all the greed, or we’ll just set our sights on football season. Doesn’t matter either way, anymore.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Got a shovel? You would need one on this day in 2015, as Boston digs out from 102 inches of snow. (Total that winter: 110 inches.)
WORD OF THE DAY
Accelerando – [ak-sel-uh-ran-doh] – adjective
Definition: Gradually accelerate in speed
Example: My rhythm down a ski slope is hardly accelerando.
WIT OF THE DAY
“Inflation is taxation without legislation.”
-Milton Friedman
(Rahway native; Rutgers grad)
BIDEN BLURB
“One way to fight inflation is to drive down wages and make Americans poorer. I have a better plan to fight inflation.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Beauty