The Jaffe Briefing - December 2, 2021

TRENTON – The state Legislature is actually in session today, with plenty of lame-duck bills in the pile. But the news is not about what laws will be passed. Rather, it’s all about who will actually show up to vote. Republican lawmakers are suing over a mandate that anyone entering the Statehouse be vaccinated or tested. In the crosshairs is a group that no one knew ever existed – the State Capitol Joint Management Commission – which approved the mandate last month in an effort to keep everyone safe and healthy. The GOP wants a stay on that policy, arguing “unprecedented overreach by a state agency, as well as direct interference with the rights and powers set forth in the Constitution…” Our unsolicited interpretation: Yeah, sure, there is a deadly pandemic with a new variant. But don’t mess with our written statutes. Not now, not ever.

TRENTON – The latest figures show that more than $90 million was blown on the governor’s race, in the hopes of engaging and exciting the electorate. Despite all that, it seemed that many sleepy voters just didn’t care enough to do their civic duty. Despite the many, many ways people could cast ballots, such as early voting sites in each county, only 40% of voters were able to focus on the election. Despite there being 450,452 more votes cast this year compared to 2017, the percentage of registered voters increased by a paltry 1 percent, as participation in gubernatorial races in New Jersey has steadily declined over the past century. Things were really good around, say 1925, when the large majority of voters felt compelled to do their job. Or maybe they just loved Gov. A. Harry Moore.

BRIEFING BREATHER

In 2016, Mozart sold more CDs than Beyonce.

RIDGEWOOD – The Record is confirming that no village employees were injured when some ceiling tiles fell in the engineering department on Tuesday. The newspaper is also confirming that the employees have been safely evacuated from that office, and are now safely working in a nearby conference room where the ceiling tiles appear to be fully intact. The newspaper is also reporting that both the fire department and EMTs responded to the scene of the falling ceiling tiles and can confirm, with 99.9% accuracy, that there were no fatalities and – moreover – the building still appears to be standing. We will report on any late-breaking news about the falling ceiling tiles as soon as it becomes available. #SaveRidgewood

PRINCETON – Are you vaccinated? Well, it still doesn’t matter at Princeton University, where the school is now requiring all undergraduate students, no matter what, to undergo two COVID tests per week, with students returning from wherever after the Thanksgiving break. The mandated testing arrives as the school raises campus risk levels from “moderate” to “high.” Moreover, if you happen to be a college athlete, you need to be tested three times a week, with a special dropbox set up to place test kits at 10 a.m. on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. Serious stuff here, as the university recently reported 39 COVID cases on campus. Yeah, it’s strict. But anything is better than remote learning.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

LAS CRUCES, N.M. – A great way out of a sticky situation: New Mexico State University is offering students with parking tickets the chance to get out of a jam with some peanut butter. The school is accepting at least 80 ounces of peanut butter — the equivalent of five to six small jars — as payment for each ticket. All the peanut butter will go to a food pantry serving the campus community, which, apparently is in very short supply of peanut butter. The university is already planning to offer the same breaks at the end of the next semester, ideally with grape jelly.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was a decade ago, today, that former Gov. Jon Corzine is slapped with a subpoena over the collapse of his commodity futures brokerage and the disappearance of funds.

WORD OF THE DAY

Derrick – [DAIR-ik] – noun

Definition: A tall framework over an oil well that supports equipment used in drilling.

Example: All I want for Christmas is… a derrick.

WIT OF THE DAY

“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.” 

-John Gotti

BIDEN BLURB

“For too long we’ve failed to use the most important word when it comes to meeting the climate crisis: Jobs. Jobs. Jobs. For me, when I think climate change, I think jobs.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Warmish