The Jaffe Briefing - October 27, 2021

STATEWIDE – New Jerseyans have been eager to get the COVID vaccine, but for their children? Hmm, now that is a very big, tough question, as Pfizer receives federal approval to give smaller doses of the shot to kiddies as young as five. The vaccine is safe, just like the big boy doses that 6 million New Jerseyans have gotten. But it will still be a very tough sale, as some polls show that only around one-third of parents would allow their kids to be vaccinated. It is certainly a gamechanger in the fight against this ongoing pandemic, as the two-dose shot given to children as early as next month will further cut the spread just in time for the holidays. But with the disease having such a small impact on young children, will parents really go for it?

FORT MONMOUTH – Nearly 300 acres for the taking in the middle of New Jersey? It seems too good to be true – like something out of a movie. And that’s why Netflix is salivating over 298 acres at Fort Monmouth, a former, crumbling military base stretching through Eatontown and Oceanport. For years, there’s been plenty of talk about what to do with Fort Monmouth, shuttered a decade ago. Netflix is pitching a “state-of-the-art production facility,” filled with soundstages, post production buildings and backlot filming areas – a real Hollywood just a few miles west of the Atlantic Ocean. It’s up to a revitalization authority to make the ultimate decision between various bidders, bringing plenty of new drama to the old base, as well as the potential for billions in revenue.

STATEWIDE – Not only do the candidates want you to vote, so does the entire state, apparently. And that’s why New Jersey is spending $1 million to “educate” you about Tuesday’s elections and the many exciting ways in which you can cast a ballot. Politico reports the million-dollar campaign was launched Aug. 1 to recruit the adequate number of poll workers – especially with all this early voting that started last Saturday and the impossibility of finding people willing to work. So, with our million bucks, the state has run ads all over the place – on TV, radio, digital platforms and billboards – reminding us all, again, of our civic duty. Here’s a freebie: Election Day is Tuesday. Go Vote.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Humans are the only animals whose brains shrink.

NEW BRUNSWICK – Rutgers students should get ready to Feel the Bern at 6:45 p.m. tomorrow, when national curmudgeon Bernie Sanders arrives on the banks as the latest Democratic royalty to stump for Gov. Phil Murphy in these critical days before the election. In a tweet, Sanders says he likes Murphy for three basic reasons: A raised minimum wage, paid leave and equal pay. It remains unclear where the rally will be held – perhaps we are not invited – but all media is required to be vaccinated to attend. Bernie has no patience for anything else.

ASBURY PARK – How’s this for a night out? You can stop by the haunted, century-old Berkeley Oceanfront Hotel, now offering an amusement called “Buried Alive.” You climb into a coffin, hear the dirt shoveled on top and feel the coffin jostle as you are transported to your final resting place. Amusement organizers say this “burial simulator” is the ideal opportunity to experience “the last ride,” and it's a much more memorable night than, say, heading out for pizza. Again.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

HARRISBURG – Perry County officials have determined they have better things to do, rather than continue to prosecute a local man who underpaid for a bottle of Mountain Dew by 43 cents. Prosecutors are mercifully dropping their theft charges, the Patriot-News reports, after the suspect saw a sign advertising two 20-ounce Mountain Dew bottles for $3. It is alleged the soda sipper took one bottle, placed $2 on the counter for what he thought was a $1.50 soda and walked out, not realizing the discount did not apply to a single bottle. State police hunted him down, amazingly, arrested him on a felony, and a judge then ordered him held on $50,000 cash-only bond. The man stewed in a jail for seven days, with no Mountain Dew in sight, before his crack public defender was finally able to argue his release. No clue if he paid back the 43 cents.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 2014 that the “fat girl” Halloween costume faced its demise, after Walmart apologized for its insensitive labeling of the plus-size products.

WORD OF THE DAY

Facile – [FASS-ul] – adjective

Definition: Too easily accomplished or attained

Example: There’s a facile elegance in today’s issue of this newsletter, concealing the laborious writing and many failed attempts at humor.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

-Jim Carrey

BIDEN BLURB

“You see this man here? He’s the governor of the state. He runs the state. And this is his wife, who runs him and me and everybody else.”

-Joe Biden, to North Plainfield students, nodding to Gov. Phil Murphy

WEATHER IN A WORD

Drying