The Jaffe Briefing - August 20, 2021
TOMS RIVER – When it comes to public health, we need to be on the same page, right? Well, that’s not happening this election season, for sure, as GOP gubernatorial challenger Jack Ciattarelli appeared at a local school board meeting on Wednesday to gin up the anti-mask crowd. It all began with a rally outside Toms River High School South by parents who don’t want their children being forced to wear masks, Patch reports. Then, school officials worked the crowd, reading their letter sent to Gov. Phil Murphy, urging he rescind the mask mandate. All terrific stuff for Ciattarelli, who, as savior, declared: “No one has said the times we are in are easy, but we are still a democracy. And in a democracy parents have the right to raise their children as they see fit.” And then he threw out some controversial stuff, citing “data” that alleges masks inhibit learning, as well as intellectual and emotional development of the child. All in all, a worthwhile campaign stop.
STATEWIDE – The tag-team of Toms River school officials and Ciattarelli will soon have something else to yell about, as it appears the governor also wants to require teachers to be vaccinated before appearing in class. The Record said there has been no official announcement yet, but other state lawmakers are already talking about this new, controversial requirement. Obviously, this makes terrific sense. But there is always blowback when teachers are “required” to do something new. And there is still this big question: Instead of getting vaccinated, can’t a teacher just be regularly tested? We’ll know the answer when the proper talking points are properly vetted by the proper people.
HOBOKEN – Thwack, Thwack, Thwack. No, this is not the fall of Saigon, but the regular beat of tourist helicopters overhead. Residents throughout the region are rightfully fed up. These majestic tours along the Hudson River are nonstop, as tourists snap their shots of Lady Liberty, the NYC skyline and locals down below flinging the Jersey salute. Enough, says five state lawmakers, introducing a bill to limit the amount of these low-flying choppers amid the surge of noise complaints. These laws would ban the entire tourism helicopter industry from flying overhead, while also limiting the number of weekday take-offs from state-run helipads by “not less than 47 percent,” an oddly-specific ask. The issue is not just for the state Legislature; Rep. Albio Sires is also pushing a law on Capitol Hill to ban all non-essential helicopter travel over NYC. A total ban may be difficult, but how about some compromise?
NEW BRUNSWICK - Looking to get stoned in Stonier Hall? Planning to get wrecked at the RAC? Going to inhale at the Hale Center? It may very well be 4:20 somewhere, but not on Rutgers’ campuses. University officials announced that although cannabis has been decriminalized in New Jersey, it remains illegal and subject to prosecution on Rutgers property and at university events, TAPinto New Brunswick reports. That presents a problem for all those scarlet-eyed undergrads who hit the bong about as hard as the books. They’ll just have to be more discerning with their wake-and-bake lifestyles, knowing that Rutgers officials will be looking to weed them out.
BRIEFING BREATHER
If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest possible amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
OUT OF NJ – Gov. Phil Murphy’s office issued an out-of-state travel ban while he was out of state. Perhaps the latest staff memo from the governor’s office is a bit ill-timed, directing all cabinet members and other state bigwigs to not travel beyond Jersey on official business as COVID surges, Politico reports. One could surmise this memo was penned from the veranda of the governor’s Italian villa, as he enjoys his late summer vacation and a latte. And, of course, Republicans are shooting holes in it, like conservative blogger Matt Rooney, tweeting that “His Most Royal Majesty has BANNED his own cabinet from out-of-state business travel. That's life working for New Jersey's biggest hypocrite!” The governor returns home Thursday, giving the GOP a few more days with this talking point.
STATEWIDE – OK, we are not the governor. But since he’s been away on vacation, let’s take the liberty of answering this latest request on his behalf. The answer is “NO” to a group of parents who have started an online petition to force school districts to provide a permanent remote learning option. So far, the “New Jersey Parents for Virtual Choice” has gathered more than 12,000 signatures, with some parents arguing their kids have somehow magically excelled with virtual learning last year, away from all real-life contact. There are so many things wrong with this request, such as the enormous cost, the further burden on teachers and the loss of basic staples, like human interaction in the lunchroom. The group is also demanding to meet with Murphy. Let’s assume virtually.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
VATICAN CITY – What do you buy a Pope who has everything, even his own city? The obvious answer is a custom-made, pearl-white foosball table. This week, Pope Francis welcomed the gift from a Tuscany-based table football association that – let’s assume – you’ve never heard of. And this is no ordinary foosball table, of course. It is designed for all to play, including those with physical disabilities. It is being deemed the ideal gift for a Pope who loves soccer and has demonstrated respect for the clear-cut rules of foosball, such as saying 10 Hail Marys if caught spinning.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2013 that the “Cruz for President” campaign got serious, as Ted Cruz renounces his Canadian citizenship.
WORD OF THE DAY
Winnow – [WIN-oh] – verb
Definition: To remove people or things that are less important or desirable
Example: The field is already winnowing down for who realistically can afford to run for President in 2024.
WIT OF THE DAY
“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”
– Will Smith
BIDEN BLURB
“People everywhere in the world are hungry for economic opportunity. And it's about a lot more than being able to make money.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Iffy