The Jaffe Briefing - August 13, 2021
STATEWIDE – So, the U.S. Census came out yesterday, and what does that mean for New Jersey? Well, the population is up 6% over the past 10 years, to 9.3 million, countering all those tired news stories about how people are “fleeing” the state. It also means New Jersey is keeping all 12 seats in Congress, based on population, compared to Pennsylvania and New York, both losing a seat (ha!). Other highlights: Newark remains the most populous city, while many other older cities left for dead are now growing, including Jersey City, Paterson and Trenton. And people are still embracing urban living, as Hudson County is the fastest-growing county, becoming more and more like the sixth borough of NYC. Immigrants continue to shore up our population, as is our state’s storied history, while our older residents continue to fly off to Florida – in what has become the circle of life for many New Jerseyans.
TRENTON – The financial turnaround is one of New Jersey’s biggest stories this year. Sure, as we careen toward another election season, there will be plenty of challengers painting doom and gloom, hoping to gin up some votes. But no matter where you sit on things, the fact is the impartial, humorless credit agencies are digging the state. Fitch Ratings upgraded the state’s credit outlook from “negative” to “positive,” spotlighting some Herculean movement for a state that is constantly ridiculed as a walking, talking financial disaster. S&P Global Ratings and Moody’s are also giving New Jersey a fresh look, NJ.com reports, no longer deeming the state’s credit as “negative,” followed by a hearty belly laugh. Yeah, yeah, credit ratings are dull. But they are among the only reliable sources of information amidst all the finger-pointing and spin-doctoring.
TRENTON – Back to politics. Jack Ciattarelli is out with his first TV ad in his race for governor, trying to convince New Jersey voters that the state is careening toward disaster, as we are all drowning in taxes. The message from the GOP challenger: Gov. Phil Murphy doesn’t care about you and if you don’t like paying all these taxes that he is slapping you silly with, you should just get the heck out. “Who says that?” Ciattarelli tells the camera. “High taxes are the reason why young people can’t afford to get started here.” Will this message work? Ciattarelli is betting $736,000 over 10 days of ads that the answer will be “Hopefully.”
BRIEFING BREATHER
No number from 1 to 999 includes the letter “a” in its word form.
EDISON – The sweet smell of marijuana money has officials here a little high. As half of New Jersey’s towns say “no, no, no” to cannabis businesses, Edison is ready to allow up to 10 of them. Okay, the Town Council isn’t completely loopy. The Home News Tribune says they're going to tightly control locations, licensing and everything else from video surveillance and ventilation to on-site bans of food, booze and cigarettes. Most of all, Edison looks forward to scooping up sales tax revenue plus hefty annual license fees from pot businesses, charging $2,500 for delivery services, $7,500 for wholesalers; $10,000 for pot retailers and $15,000 for pot growers. Residents get a chance to weigh in at next Thursday’s public hearing. Expect local developers in this famously overbuilt town to also argue for “cannabis condos.”
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
COLUMBUS, OHIO – A guy named Bob was on the fence about getting the COVID vaccine. But then Bob saw a tweet from “Goddess Alexandra Snow," a professional dominatrix and dungeon owner, saying any of her “submissives” who wanted a, er, session would have to show proof of vaccination. He reached out to the goddess, who quickly convinced him. “It’s gratifying to know I’ve done something that Goddess Snow approves of,” he told Rolling Stone. Goddess Snow is not the only dominatrix who is spreading many things, including public health information. The magazine reports the entire dominatrices community has been a big force behind vaccinations, proving yet again that a whip and chain can get any important message across.
EVANGELINE PARISH, La. – It is time to hit the road for summer vacation, but where should you stay? Well, some couples looking for a little bit of spice are hearing about the proposed Tee Boi’s Swinger Trailer Park in southern Louisiana, set to open by Memorial Day in 2022. The motto? “Bring your house and share your spouse.” There are now big plans for a nude pool, a nude yoga stadium, a strip poker hall, and a key party cabana. There’s a sign outside this swinger trailer park, saying you have to send in a photo of your spouse “for approval.” But that’s just a joke. This place will take anybody.
SALERNO, Italy – Unless an army of hungry Italians scoured the globe, it’s hard to see how a popular foodie website could really pick the “world’s 50 best pizzerias” among the millions of local shops. New Jersey is, of course, honored to have two eateries – Una Pizza Napoletana in Atlantic Highlands and Razza’s in Jersey City – among the world’s five best on 50TopPizza. But you’ve just gotta wash down lists like this with a gulp of skepticism. After all, most New Jerseyans – heck, many Americans – live a tomato-toss away from a neighborhood pizzeria, trattoria or bistro. And, if the quality of our slices weren’t superb, all our pizza boxes wouldn’t say “You’ve tried the rest, now try the best.” Right?
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1996 that Microsoft unveiled Internet Explorer 3.0, bundled with Windows 95, with great fanfare. Today, it is about as necessary as a rotary landline.
WORD OF THE DAY
Nimrod – [NIM-rahd] – noun
Definition: Idiot, jerk
Example: What a nimrod.
WIT OF THE DAY
“The clearest way to show what the rule of law means to us in everyday life is to recall what has happened when there is no rule of law.”
-Dwight D. Eisenhower
BIDEN BLURB
“Every country faces challenges to the rule of law, including my own.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Sticky